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| People gather around the rebuilt temple (from the book of Ezra). Image source. |
The first time Nikkal saw him, he was laying wooden beams for the walls of the temple. She had come with some other Canaanite women to bring water to the Israelite men who were working. His name was Shimei, he told her. It wasn't just his cute curly hair or his deep brown eyes- it was his smile, his laugh, the way his whole face lit up when he was happy.
She came to deliver food and water to the workers at the Jerusalem temple every day. And every time she saw him, her heart leaped. When she handed him the jug, and he wiped his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand, pushed back his hair and his headband, and he smiled at her... it felt like the sun was shining on her.
The other women told her, "Don't get your hopes up. You see the headband he wears- he's a Levite. They have very strict rules. A Levite could never marry a Canaanite."
But he talked with her, laughed with her, asked her about her family and her hometown. And she knew she had fallen in love with him, but she always told herself not to get too excited. He could never really be interested in her, she thought.
But every day they talked, and she felt that he really respected her and cared for her. He didn't treat her like a Canaanite dog, like some of the others did. She had never met a man like him.
---
Sometimes she came to the temple, even when it wasn't time to bring water to the workers. She watched Shimei talking with the other men. Sometimes she saw the group of them stop and pray to their God together, led by Ezra, their prophet.
"What am I doing?" she asked herself. He could never really be interested in her... even if he was okay with marrying a Canaanite woman, he would surely reject her when he found out she wasn't a virgin. Sometimes, when he talked with her alone, she wondered if she should tell him. Was it dishonest for her to let him think she was really good enough for him?
Why would he want her anyway? She was just a poor girl who had come to Jerusalem to earn some money. Surely Shimei could find a better wife, she thought.
Sometimes she prayed to her God, Asherah, about Shimei. She thanked Her for letting her meet such a wonderful man, and she also dared to wish that maybe the gods could let her be his wife.
---
One day he came to her and said he wanted to talk about betrothal.
She was so happy, but also terrified. There was no way this was real. No way something this amazing could really happen to her. "But, but... I'm a Canaanite," she said.
Shimei smiled and shook his head, as if it was a joke. "Yes I know that."
"You can't really... you're..." she started to say.
"Nikkal, I want to be with you. It doesn't matter to me, that you're a Canaanite and I'm a Levite. I want to marry you, if you'll have me."
She couldn't believe it, and everything in her wanted to leap with joy and say yes. But she couldn't, it was too good to be true. She had to tell him she wasn't good enough for him. She wasn't a virgin. He deserved to know.
"It's just..." she bit her lip nervously, "... just, there was another guy."
"Oh!" he suddenly looked shocked, and then disappointed. "Oh, I didn't know you were already betrothed."
"What? No, I'm not betrothed."
He tilted his head, confused. "Then, what do you mean about 'another guy'?"
"Uh, that was a long time ago."
He continued to look at her, not understanding. "So... not now? A long time ago, but not now?"
"Right," she said, waiting for him to reject her.
"So... what's the problem?"
He still didn't get it. She was going to have to spell it right out for him, and have him reject her. It was so embarrassing. She twisted her hands nervously. "I... he..." she tried to say. "I'm ... I'm not a virgin."
"Oh!" his face broke out into a relieved smile. "That's all? Well that's fine, I don't care about that."
She was speechless. "You what?"
"I want you for you," he said. "Not your virginity. I want you. You make me happy."
All she could do was stare at him, wide-eyed. He reached out, and she let him hug her. "You have to ask my father," she managed to squeak out.
"Yes, of course," he answered.
She had never met a man like him.
---
Their wedding was like a dream. She never knew that she could be so happy. She wore a long dress, embroidered by her mother, with symbols of the gods. He wore his best tunic and the same Levite headband that he always wore.
She moved in with him, and they made their home together. He worked in the temple, and she worked hard with the other women, carrying water and baking bread. At night he prayed to his God, and she prayed and burned incense to Asherah. Sometimes Shimei would eagerly talk with her about the work they were doing at the temple, how their prophet Ezra was leading them to reestablish the religion from old times. She supposed it was important to his people.
---
They had been married 3 months, when she heard the news.
Ezra 9:1-4
After these things had been done, the leaders came to me and said, “The people of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the neighboring peoples with their detestable practices, like those of the Canaanites, Hittites, Perizzites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Moabites, Egyptians and Amorites. 2 They have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, and have mingled the holy race with the peoples around them. And the leaders and officials have led the way in this unfaithfulness.”
3 When I heard this, I tore my tunic and cloak, pulled hair from my head and beard and sat down appalled. 4 Then everyone who trembled at the words of the God of Israel gathered around me because of this unfaithfulness of the exiles. And I sat there appalled until the evening sacrifice.
...
Ezra 10:3
Now let us make a covenant before our God to send away all these women and their children, in accordance with the counsel of my lord and of those who fear the commands of our God. Let it be done according to the Law.
...
Ezra 10:10-11
Then Ezra the priest stood up and said to them, “You have been unfaithful; you have married foreign women, adding to Israel’s guilt. 11 Now honor the Lord, the God of your ancestors, and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples around you and from your foreign wives.”
There were whispers about it among the women as they gathered around the well that day. Nikkal felt sick; her dream was coming to an end. She had known all along that it couldn't last, that she wasn't good enough for Shimei.
They didn't even have any children yet. It would be easy for him to send her away, to move on and forget about the mistake that he had made, marrying a Canaanite.
She was so anxious. She didn't want to do anything or talk to anyone. She went back home early that day. She sat in their shared home and tried to memorize it, the walls, the roof, the way Shimei always stacked his shoes in the corner. It would be so hard leaving, but... but she had always known her marriage was too good to be true. And now she was going to lose it, go back to the life she deserved, just a poor Canaanite that no one could want.
But she could cook one last meal for them.
She kneaded the dough, with a hundred different things running through her mind. Oh, she would miss him so much. She'd never met a man like him. Where would she go? Maybe she would go live with her parents, or her brothers.
She tried to focus on the bread she was making. If this was the last meal she cooked for him, she wanted to do a good job. But she was so worried, so distracted. She put the bread in the oven and then there was nothing to do but wait. Wait for him to come home and send her away.
She paced, and waited, and prayed to Asherah for protection on her journey back home. She got the bread out of the oven when it was done. Then waited some more; Shimei was later than usual. She was too anxious to eat. Just sat there and looked at her bread.
It was the middle of the night when he finally arrived. He looked pale and exhausted. He wasn't wearing his Levite headband. He stood in the doorway and they looked at each other in silence. She wanted to say something but didn't have any words. She sat at their table, and he stood across the room, and he still had those same deep, beautiful eyes that she had fallen in love with.
Finally he spoke. "Show me how to pray to your God."
She stood up and walked toward him. Her hands trembled as she took his hand and led him to the box where she kept the incense. She handed him an incense stick, and then a thought occurred to her. "Do you want Asherah, or... or a male God?" she asked.
"No, no," he said quickly, shaking his head. "Asherah."
She took a second stick of incense for herself, and lit both of them using the coals in the oven. She searched her mind for what to say; she had never taught anyone to pray before. She tried to remember what the priests had said when she had gone to the temple with her parents all those years ago. "Oh Asherah, goddess of ... of ... uh prosperity and ..." - she glanced at her husband's bowed head, the curls of his hair pressed down where his headband used to be- "... love. We ask you for, uh, abundant harvests, and ... uh ..." She trailed off. She didn't know the specific words, but it didn't seem to matter now.
They sat there in the lamplight in silence, as the smell of the incense filled their small home. They sat there until all the incense had burned. She still didn't know what to say. She put her hand on his arm, and he didn't move or react. Finally she got the words out: "I heard... Are you going to send me away?"
"No," he said, and pulled her into a tight hug. "No." He pulled back, held her hands in his, and looked her in the eyes. His eyes looked red in the lamplight. "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God my God."
The next day, they started to pack their things. Together.
She had never met a man like him.
---
Follow-up post: This "Do Not Intermarry With Them" Stuff Hits Different Now
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This fic was inspired by the Slacktivist's excellent posts on why Ezra is not a good guy:
A Ruthless reading in the RCL
Biblical Teaching On Divorce: Start With Ezra
The biblical genealogies summarized: STFU, Ezra
Ezra isn’t the Good Guy in this story
This generation has far too many ‘Ezras’ already, thanks
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My other fanfics:
Strange Fire
Noah's Evangelism
Achan's Sin
In Your Anger Do Not Sin (a Hulk fanfic)
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