Honest Advent: Gaslighting Is Not Okay, Even If It's Biblical

Silhouettes of a person on top of a slope reaching down to help someone who's lower. Image source.

Let's take a look at a passage from Two Corinthians, Donald Trump's favorite book of the bible. 2 Corinthians 4:3-6:

And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, NOT COOL.

Oh man this is bad. "The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." So it's saying that non-Christians just aren't able to understand Christianity- they are "blinded" by an external force- and therefore any objections they have to Christianity are automatically invalid.

It's saying that people who don't believe in Christianity aren't able to think clearly and see reason about it. They only reject Jesus because they're influenced by some other shady forces. It's saying people aren't able to take a look at evidence and arguments and make a reasonable, educated decision on which religion, if any, is worth following- no, if they're not Christians, it's only because they're "blinded."

That is messed-up.

But I've heard this before. This is what I was taught in church. Non-Christians just don't *get* the bible because they "don't have the Holy Spirit." People don't believe in Jesus because they "love their sin" even though they secretly know Christianity is right. They make decisions that go against "God's commands" because of "temptation." Former Christians "lose their faith" because they were "led astray by the world" and "fell away."

Basically, a lot of different ways to say, "People who disagree with us don't have actual, rational reasons for their beliefs. They have dishonest ulterior motives, or maybe they're being tricked by some sinister influence and they're not able to think clearly."

That's a bunch of Christian-supremacist crap. And it's gaslighting. "Gaslighting" is when you claim that someone's actual lived experiences aren't really real, when you try to manipulate them into doubting their own mind. In this case, it's Christians claiming that non-Christians just aren't capable of even understanding what Christianity is and why it's so great, and therefore any opinions they have about it are automatically invalid. It's a refusal to actually engage with them, take them seriously, treat them as rational human beings capable of intelligent thought. No, they're "blinded." That's why they don't agree with us. Not because they actually have actual reasons.

This is not okay. Yes I know it's in the bible, but that doesn't make it okay. The bible also says "love your neighbor" and this Christian-supremacy nonsense sure as hell isn't love.

"When did we see you sick...?"

A ton of people helped me when I was sick recently. Taking me to see doctors, paying for treatment, working out logistics, contacting people who needed to be contacted- everything.

I was helpless, and they sacrificed so much of their own time and money to help me. 

When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 

I was overwhelmed and grateful. You know, American culture is so individualistic, and Chinese culture puts so much value on connections between people- maybe that's why I didn't want to ask anyone for help. I didn't want to bother anyone. But they helped me anyway.

All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

Lydia- whom I had never met before- drove in from another city an hour away to take me to the hospital. She came because my dad had contacted her- they both work for the same company. I can't even begin to express how much she did for me.

And her friend, Shen, whom I'd also never met. Driving us to one hospital after another. Buying food for me. At one point, waiting in the hospital next to him, in my sick and exhausted state, I realized I didn't even know his name. So I asked him, in Chinese, and told him my Chinese name.

I'll probably never see him again.

Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 

One of the managers from my job visited me in the morning, at the shady Chinese hospital where I spent one night. When they moved me to the actual good international hospital in Shanghai, she rode in the car with us.

And how did I get moved to the actual good international hospital in Shanghai? My dad was making tons of phone calls to colleagues that worked in China, and they kept saying "you need to get her to Shanghai or Hong Kong." One of them, we'll call him Jeff, called me and asked if I wanted him to send a car and driver to get me and take me to Shanghai. I was so tired and confused, I was just like "... I don't know..." He sent a driver. That's how I got to Shanghai.

And Lydia was in the front seat, on the phone with my workplace to get the insurance information, then on the phone with the hospital, on the phone with everybody.

'For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, 

A colleague from one of the Shanghai offices of the language school where I work met us at the hospital. He didn't know me. He called and texted a couple more times over the next few days to see if I needed anything.

'I was a stranger and you invited my in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, 

My dad's boss's boss's sister happened to live in Shanghai. She and her husband visited me at the hospital. She brought throat drops for me. And prayed for me.

'I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

My boyfriend's mom flew in from another city to take care of me.

A friend agreed to watch my cat while I was in Shanghai.

Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 

My dad came all the way from America to see me.

And how did he get here? Jeff. Jeff helped with the paperwork for the visa. Jeff booked a hotel for him. Jeff sent a driver to pick him up at the airport. And so much more.

'When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 

And my boyfriend. He did so much. He was out of town when he heard I was getting worse and was staying at a shady Chinese hospital- and he spent the whole night on a train so he could come see me.

While Jeff's driver was taking me to Shanghai, my boyfriend was cleaning my apartment. So I wouldn't come home to a mess. I hadn't been able to clean it for maybe a whole week- and that includes my cat's litter box. And he gathered some clothes and stuff and brought them to Shanghai for me.

My boyfriend took 3 days off work to stay at the hospital and help me. He fed me pasta when I hardly had the strength to eat. He rolled the IV machine into the bathroom every time I needed it. He woke up in the night to call the nurse when my IV needed to be changed.

'When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

He's not a Christian. We're "unequally yoked," according to the usual interpretation of 2 Corinthians 6:14. But that verse also says, "For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

Is he darkness?

With all he did, all the time and energy and money he spent because he loves me. Is he wickedness? Is he darkness?

Tons of people helped me. Some are Christians, some are not. Does it matter? Are they going to hell?

The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'