Blogaround

A baby duck swimming. Image source.

1. Notes from Philly Trans Wellness Conference: Strategy Words for Medical Self Advocacy (posted 2018) "I REFUSE: This is the SAFE WORD of healthcare, essentially a sledgehammer of a word that means FULL STOP."

Also this: F*ck Your Health Volume I: Hey, Let’s Get A Pap Exam! It's a guide for trans people who have a cervix and therefore need to get pap exams, about how to make the experience less scary/triggering. I am not trans, but because I am asexual, going to the gynecologist is really hard, and wow this guide is useful for me.

2. Muhammad Was Visited by a Demon (and Other Things Evangelicals Taught Me) (posted March 21) I was never taught this explicitly, but if somebody said it I would have felt like "ah yeah, that's reasonable, that could be the case" because it's 100% consistent with what I was taught about demons (they are real) and religions besides Christianity (they are bad).

3. Clarity: Shane Claiborne & The Wild Goose Festival (posted March 25) "And — for crying out loud — Methodist queer kids are already hearing that their sexual orientation is a 'big issue.' Can we not find someone else?"

This Is the Stuff That Happens to Us Immigrants

US passport. I'm so privileged to have one of these, but still, being an immigrant is HARD. Image source.

I wrote this post a long time ago. Just publishing it now~

---------------------------------

So I'm working here in China, and every year I have to renew my residence permit. (Which is functionally the same as a visa.) Last year, we hit so many problems while renewing it- it was just one complication after another after another- but the BIGGEST ONE was finding out that you can't use the last 3 pages of a US passport for visas or residence permits, so I needed to get a whole frickin' new passport.

And now I'm way more familiar than I ever wanted to be with the big Shanghai immigration office, the local office for the district where I work, and the US consulate in Shanghai.

I got the residence permit, in the end. I didn't get kicked out of China. But Hendrix and I had planned to go on vacation in Japan- 1 month after all this residence permit stuff was supposed to be done- and I couldn't go because the whole thing kept dragging on, and when it was time for the vacation, I didn't even have my passport with me, it was at some office waiting for some government official to look at it or whatever, so I couldn't leave Shanghai. (And even if I did have my passport and I did go to Japan, I wouldn't have been able to get back into China.)

I spent that whole month completely stressed out, trying to figure out what I would do if I couldn't get my residence permit. (I told Hendrix, "I'll miss you when I get kicked out of China and have to go live in Hong Kong"...) And Hendrix ended up going to Japan without me. We lost all the money we had paid for my ticket.

It just sucked. It really sucked.

I didn't pray. I didn't pray because I don't want a god who helps one immigrant not lose her vacation that she spent a thousand dollars on, while leaving other immigrants in dangerous, live-threatening situations. I don't want god to favor me over others. I certainly wanted the government workers at these various offices to favor me over others- and I don't think there's anything wrong with pushing for that- because they are finite human beings. They aren't able to assess the situation of everyone in the world and give out help in a way that's 100% fair. They are limited to inhabiting a specific place at a specific time. They have limited knowledge about who needs what. They have limited resources. I don't expect them to be perfect judges- and so it's fine for me to ask if they can push things along faster, even if I'm not the most deserving person in the world.

But I don't want a god like that. God should be the perfect judge who helps the most poor and helpless people before anyone else.

And while I was stuck at home and Hendrix was in Japan, our toilet started leaking. And I hate how my first thought was, "maybe this is why God planned for it to happen this way- because if I wasn't here when the toilet started leaking, we would come back from our vacation and find water all over the floor." I hate that. I hate that I used to believe in a God who thinks the best way to address a future leaky toilet is to completely sabotage my residence permit renewal process, so I get all worried about getting kicked out of China, I lose all the money from the vacation, and Hendrix and I have an argument about it... But that's how people thought, in the church culture I was raised in. If something bad happens, God planned for it to be that way for a reason. So you search for a little minor slightly-positive result of the bad thing, and claim that it MUST BE THE REASON that God did the bad thing.

"Perfect Number, you didn't want to come home from your vacation and find water all over the bathroom floor, did you? No? Well then you have to admit this was a GOOD THING God did to you, and you're not allowed to be unhappy about it."

I'm so glad I don't believe that crap anymore. There was no "silver lining." It just sucked.

Anyway, I'm telling this story because this is the kind of stuff that happens to immigrants. It's not that uncommon. In the community of international people living in Shanghai, we all know people whose visa process took way longer than it should have. We all know the stress of trying to navigate this giant bureaucracy. We all know people who are trying to do it without even being able to speak Chinese. A lot of us know someone who married a Chinese citizen and then spent thousands of dollars and filled out so much paperwork to get their spouse a US green card. A lot of us know someone who's teaching English here illegally on a tourist visa. We know people whose passports have been stolen, and they had to run around to various consulates and government offices to get a new passport and visa. We know people who came here for a job, and then when they got here, the job turned out to be way different than what was promised (it's teaching English instead of teaching music, the company can't actually get you a work visa, the company wants you to hand over your passport "for safekeeping", etc), so they had to scramble around and find a different job or else leave China. And we all know what the "Hong Kong visa run" is- in some situations, people are required to leave mainland China in order to renew their visa, and the most convenient way to do that is to fly down to Hong Kong.

It's just part of life, being an immigrant. These things just happen sometimes. It's stressful and it sucks, but that's what being an immigrant is.

So remember us.

But we are privileged immigrants. We chose to come to China. We chose to leave our home countries. We are educated and can speak English. We can find teaching jobs easily- especially those of us who are white. We have enough money for international plane tickets.

Nobody is trying to kick us all out of China for political reasons. Nobody is claiming we are dangerous, or we are stealing their jobs, or we are a "burden on society."

So remember the immigrants, anywhere in the world, who have it harder. The refugees who didn't have a choice, who had to leave their homes because of violence. Remember the immigrants who don't have money and don't have good job prospects. The ones who fill out visa applications while politicians make speeches about how dangerous their country is, how immigrants of certain races or religions are all criminals.

This kind of crap happens to us, and that's just the way it is. We don't have the same rights that citizens do. We need piles of paperwork just to live here. Just want you all to know that.

-------------------

Related:
I Didn't Count the Cost Before I Moved To China

Blogaround

1. On Disability and on Facebook? Uncle Sam Wants to Watch What You Post (posted March 10) "But advocates for people with disabilities say the use of social media in this way would be dangerous because photos posted there do not always provide reliable evidence of a person’s current condition." Ooh this is bad.

2. Andy Stanley's Church is NOT the "Safest Place in the World" for My Gay Teen (posted March 12) [content note: churchy homomisia] "She posted a beautiful “love letter” to the gay community and for the first time publicly declared that she is gay. It was part of a campaign for PRIDE month and I couldn’t be prouder of the words she wrote. The comments she received were so positive and uplifting. She received no negative feedback until she attended church the next weekend, where she was told she could no longer lead at North Point Ministries."

3. I'm not saying I'm Captain Marvel, but... (posted March 15) [content note: spoilers for "Captain Marvel"] "She was told that her power came from an invisible supreme intelligence and could be taken away as easily as it was given; her entire purpose was to serve at the will of this being. I was told that any good deeds or accomplishments I achieve in life are all due to an invisible deity; my entire life purpose was to serve at the will of God."

4. Selma Blair Became A Disabled Icon Overnight. Here's Why We Need More Stories Like Hers (posted March 7?)

Captain Marvel, Boundaries, and Why I Don't Go To Church

Scene from "Captain Marvel", where Yon-Rogg is training Carol to fight, and her fist is glowing with energy as she looks at him with determination. Image source.

[content note: spoilers for "Captain Marvel"]

I loved the movie "Captain Marvel" so much! This post is full of SPOILERS from this point forward, so, you have been warned.

In this movie, our hero lives on an alien planet (the inhabitants are called Kree) where she does military training and goes on secret missions. But she has no memory of the part of her life before all that. And the movie is about how she discovers who she really is. She finds out that she is NOT a Kree; her name is actually Carol Danvers, and she is a human from Earth, who used to be a pilot in the US Air Force.

Also, she discovers that the Kree ideology, which she had been fighting so hard to uphold, was actually violent, imperialistic, and wrong. She was taught lies about the Skrulls (which is another race of aliens)- she was taught they were terrorists and Kree need to fight them, but later she finds out the truth is that Skrulls are victims of war, who are living as refugees scattered around the galaxy, just trying to survive.

My FAVORITE SCENE IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE is near the end, when Carol is fighting Yon-Rogg, a Kree that had been a mentor to her. She is extremely angry with him because he lied to her about everything (and actually he's the one who kidnapped her from Earth in the first place). He tries to stop her by saying she needs to fight without any weapons, without using photon blasts from her hands- just like what he used to tell her when he trained her. He says she should fight him without weapons to "prove" that she can.

And she says "I have nothing to prove to you" and blasts him with a photon blast.

YES!

YES! I was so happy. I was like "Boundaries!" Because I believe in boundaries morality now, and one aspect of that is you don't have to play by other people's rules. Just because somebody says "you need to do XYZ" doesn't mean it's actually true. You don't have to change yourself to fit into somebody else's idea of what you're supposed to be.

And this is why I'm so glad I don't go to church anymore. It's so incredibly healthy for me, not being involved in Christian culture at all.

Because, I'm a Christian, but I know that good evangelicals have been trained to label someone like me as a "fake Christian." I used to try so hard to present my beliefs in a way that would prove to them that I really do love God and the bible and I really am a real Christian, that I didn't "fall away" because I'm "selfish" and "just want to sin." I know that if I use language like "feminism" or "mental health" or "I deserve good things", those are giant red flags which immediately get me branded as a "fake Christian." So instead I tried to use evangelicalese, terms like "legalism" and "the gospel is good news" and "by their fruit."

I tried so hard. I kept trying various churches and churchy small groups, tried so hard to play by their rules and find Christians who would accept me. It didn't work. Instead, I would just get so nervous every time. I would be sweating, with my heart racing, rehearsing things over and over in my head so I could say them in just the right way... trying so hard to push the discussion in a more feminist direction and correct some of the anti-human Christian-supremacist ideas that people were sharing, while still staying within the confines of their opinion of what a "real Christian" believes.

And I realized, back then, that I was starting to develop depression symptoms because of this. I was trying so hard to make myself into something they could accept, and I saw that it was going to lead to depression.

And eventually I realized, I don't need their approval. I don't need Christians' approval, and I don't need God's approval. I know I'm a Christian, and that's all the approval I need. So I stopped trying to go to church. I stopped trying to prove myself to them. And wow. Wow. That was SUCH A GOOD DECISION. No depression anymore. Everything is so much better, now that I'm not spending so much emotional energy trying to gain acceptance from people that are never going to accept me.

(Note: In my case, this is what cured my depression. Oh, and also I went to a lot of therapy. Everyone is different, so please don't interpret this as "this is what you have to do to quit being depressed, and if it didn't work then you should feel bad about yourself and it's your fault" or any of that nonsense that ignorant people are always saying about depression.)

And I could give a lot of examples like this, related to church and getting accepted by Christians. LGB Christians are always asked to explain how they can "reconcile" their LGB identity with the bible- like they gotta play some kind of bible-verse-go-fish game, like they have to explain their whole personal life to any random Christian who is "concerned" about their "sin." No. You don't have to play by their rules.

Or when I've been in a Christian small group and some man says something about how he doesn't agree with how this or that church "lets" women preach, and the group is supposed to treat that like it's an okay opinion for Christians to hold. Like we all have to be polite and respectful while we tell him we disagree. No, I don't play that game any more. I will not attend a church that acts like sexism is fine if the bible says it.

Or any time some random Christian on the internet pops up and asks you to justify how you can be a Christian and believe XYZ. And they'll only take you seriously if you have the same general approach to biblical interpretation as they do. Blah, nope, you don't have to play by their rules. You don't have to "debate" them.

Here's the thing, though: If you don't play by their rules, then you won't be able to earn their approval. Setting this boundary and refusing to play their games means giving up on the possibility that they'll accept you. But if they're not willing to accept you the way you are, if they want you to limit and censor and filter yourself to fit their expectations, then I would say their approval isn't worth it anyway. In my case, it was so damaging to my mental health, the way I forced myself to try to play that role, and it never worked anyway. So no, I don't try to get acceptance from church people any more. I've given up on that, and that means I get to be me and I don't have to prove anything to anyone.

In "Captain Marvel," Carol discovers her true identity, and she decides she doesn't have to follow rules made by people who have lied to her and tried to control her life. Just because Yon-Rogg says she should fight him without weapons, to "prove" that she can, doesn't mean it's true. She doesn't need his approval. She doesn't need to play by his rules. I love it.

-----------------------

Related:
It Was Beautiful When Star-Lord Rejected the Gospel 
From "Virtues Morality" To "Boundaries Morality" 
Dr. Strange's Ways Are Higher Than Our Ways

Blogaround

This image wishes us "Happy Pi Day", with the pi symbol stylized to look like a cherry pie. In the background are digits of pi. Image source.

1. Philadelphia becomes first major US city to ban cashless stores (posted March 7) Having the option to pay in cash is also really important for international travelers.

2. Why Idaho Lawmakers Killed a Child Marriage Bill (posted March 4) "Their opposition to bans on child marriage is not so much that they don’t think girls are pressured into marriage as children as it is that they think pregnant girls should be pressured into marriage as children."

Remember when I wrote a post called Which is a Bigger Deal: Marriage or Sex? For this one, we could ask "Which is a bigger deal: child marriage or single motherhood?" See, the problem is the giant disagreement on the answer to that question.

3. The Anti-Choice Movement’s Imaginary Scenarios about Abortion Later in Pregnancy are Extremist Propaganda (posted February 26) "This simply is not how healthcare works, and the anti-choice movement is completely aware of that, but that hasn’t stopped them from trying to urge their followers to believe it."

4. Atheist to give invocation at DuPage board meeting (posted March 8) Cool!

5. Prospiracy Theories (posted March 4) Wow this is so good! The reality that is actually true, instead of conspiracy theories, but they've been stylistically formatted to look like conspiracy theory memes.

6. Behold Your Queen (posted March 11) [content note: this article is a misogynistic trash fire, published on 'Desiring God'] Wowwww it's our friend Greg Morse, here to tell us that "Captain Marvel" is a bad movie because women aren't supposed to fight to rescue men (?????). CAN YOU IMAGINE looking at the lack of representation of women in superhero movies and thinking, 'yes this is good and godly'? AND ACTUALLY THIS ARTICLE IS EVEN WORSE THAN THAT- Morse's actual point is that society should not let women have military careers that might involve putting their lives at risk. WOWWWWWWWWW. Hey Desiring God, friends don't let friends publish articles by Greg Morse.

Perfect Number Watches VeggieTales "Minnesota Cuke and the Search for Samson's Hairbrush" (2005)

Let's watch VeggieTales "Minnesota Cuke and the Search for Samson's Hairbrush" (2005) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AZbTz5sB50 …

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

I've never seen this one. Pretty sure it's the VeggieTales version of "Indiana Jones" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

yeah veggietales theme song :) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

We start w Bob & Larry on the counter. Larry asks why Bob is the one who always gets to read the letter. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Larry pulls out a different letter
now Bob & Larry are arguing abt which of the 2 letters they are going to answer #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

oh they both got letters from someone who is being bullied
Larry questions how Bob can be certain it's not the same bully
is this going to be a lesson abt being certain even when it's not 100% certain #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

okay seems we are watching the story of Junior Asparagus as Robin Hood #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

oh no, a giant ........ gourd dragon? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/qqxtUt38FA

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

oh actually it's just Junior on the playground, imagining himself as robin hood. & a bully is sitting on him. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/sBBXCgWOBK

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

the bully says no one is allowed on the playground unless he says so #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

the kids are going to go to Laura's house instead. Junior doesn't want to go. he seems really sad/embarrassed about being bullied. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Celery girl asks if Junior wants to tell his parents. he says no. seems like "tell his parents" is presented as the "right answer" & junior is going to learn he needs to do it #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now Junior is fantasizing abt himself winning a football game #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

back in reality, Laura comes to check if Junior is okay #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Junior is acting like he's all brave & doesn't have any negative feelings. tells Laura he is not scared of Gordon the bully #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now Junior is imagining himself flying a spaceship #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

he landed on "The Planet Sandboxian", where a bully lives #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now a huge alien is chasing Junior #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Junior uses some kind of scifi tech to make the bully inflate & float away like Harry Potter's aunt #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Back in reality, Junior's dad shows up. Junior asks if he was ever afraid as a kid. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Dad tells the story of how he was bullied as a kid. Until one day he stood up to the bully & got "pounded" but then the bully didn't bother him any more after that #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Dad says "God has not given us a spirit of fear" & he needs to "turn the other cheek" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

The other kids come to see if Junior is really willing to go back to the playground #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Junior is hoping th bully is not there. but oh no he is there. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Junior reminds himself that god gives us courage. then he tells the bully that no one owns the playground.
"If you're gonna pound me, go ahead. But what's it gonna prove?" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Junior says "you're gonna have to pound me every day. because i'm not afraid of you!" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

all the other kids step up & say Gordon will have to beat them up too #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Gordon gives up & goes away without pounding anyone #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Junior says if Gordon ever comes back, hopefully it will be bc he wants to be friends #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now junior is back to being robin hood #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/24nj7Nmbi8

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

he sings a song abt turning the other cheek, with the courage that comes from god #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Now silly songs with Larry! Larry is singing abt how he ordered a pizza but it's been hours & it hasn't come yet. RELATABLE. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

"Pizza angel please come to me" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

wowwwwwww i have had all these exact feelings #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

"Then my heart skipped when i heard the door" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

oh no the delivery guy ate the pizza. wow this is awful #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

All right now time for the story of Minnesota Cuke & the search for Samson's hairbrush. Minnesota is on a snowy mountain #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Martin (Bob the tomato) is talking to Minnesota (Larry) on a video phone #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota finds the snowman w the golden carrot nose #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

oh no, the snowman's head rolled down & chased our hero #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Mr Lunt shows up & grabs the golden carrot. mwahahaha #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

next scene, Minnesota & Martin are back at their children's museum, which has NO exhibits bc Minnesota couldn't get the carrot nose #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

OH MY GODDDD I HAD TO PAUSE THE VIDEO AND LAUGH
celery comes in to say there is a group of Canadians trying to take over both sides of Niagara Falls
Minnesota: "But they have the best side already" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

i have been to Niagara falls a LOT of times & CAN CONFIRM, Canadian side is better #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Anyway, these Canadian barrel makers are searching for Samson's hairbrush to give them power #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Bob recaps the story of Samson. he fought the philistine bullies #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

celery says Samson's hair gave him his strength. Bob interrupts but can't really get a word in- I'M SURE he wants to say Samson's real strength came from God. & that's going to be the lesson #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

anyway, Minnesota decides he will find the hairbrush & get the strength to stand up to his professor rival who's bullying him #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota goes to find Julia (we met her in "Duke & the Great Pie War")
a lot of we-have-a-romantic-backstory banter between them #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

She says a lot of ppl want to find Samson's hairbrush. it's too dangerous! he should stay out of it #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

She tells him an address. Minnesota leaves. Just then, the rival, played by Mr Lunt comes in & wants the address too #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Bob is on the video phone telling Minnesota that god made Samson make promises like not to eat grapes or cut his hair
Minnesota: "That's weird" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

again, bob gets interrupted before he can say the whole thing #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota goes back to the ice cream place where Julia works & finds she is flooded with melted ice cream. he saves her. she says she didn't tell mr lunt ANYTHING #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now we are in a barbershop with 2 EXTREMELY ITALIAN carrots #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota comes to ask the barbers abt Samson's hairbrush.
turns out they are in a secret order that has protected the hairbrush for generations #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

they say the hairbrush is in the ancient catacombs below the city
(with a joke abt how "catacombs" sounds like "cat combs" in an Italian accent) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Oh no! Mr Lunt heard the whole thing & is going to the catacombs! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota calls Bob & says Mr Lunt isn't just a bully, "he's my enemy!" Minnesota is so mad! Bob tries to tell him the bible says to love our enemies #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota is so ready to get revenge #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now Minnesota is down in the catacombs #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

he sees wall paintings showing the story of Samson. with a lion & everything. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

yay a rickety old bridge. i expected no less. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/TLlQb62bCY

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

omggggggg below the bridge is a pit of worms
"Worms, why did it have to be worms????"
(Indiana jones fans will get it) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota Cuke gets the hairbrush. just then, mr lunt comes in & demands it #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota says he has the brush so he has the power!
mr lunt says nope, Minnesota has no power bc he doesn't have hair (anyone else having flashbacks to the hairbrush song?) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

oh no! Julia is a hostage! We find out that the celery guy was working for mr lunt all along! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota hands over the hairbrush to free Julia. then mr lunt cuts the bridge & leaves them both dangling there #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota says he has to go and stop him! Julia is like "why?" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Julia says Minnesota Cuke being so interested in revenge makes him a bully #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now Bob is on the video phone again
& Larry concludes there never was a band of evil Canadians #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Bob explains that Samson's real power came from God, not from the hairbrush
& god can give Minnesota the power to love his enemies #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota chases down mr lunt. 2 Canadian mounties show up to stop him #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

mr lunt tries to fight them but then realizes the hairbrush has no power #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota tells the mounties not to arrest mr lunt
then mr lunt is like "whyyyy did you do that? no one's ever done anything nice for me" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

back in the children's museum. they have the hairbrush on display. yay. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

now Bob & Larry are going to talk abt what we learned today #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Larry says we learned there are bullies & sometimes you can't do anything to change them #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

THIS. "Sometimes you can't do anything to change them." I wish that had been emphasized more- because the rest of the "lesson" very strongly implies that it's your responsibility to change the bullies by "turning the other cheek" etc.

Bob says god never wants us to try to get even. instead we should love our enemies. & it's also good to talk to your parents #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

that's the end of VeggieTales "Minnesota Cuke & the Search for Samson's Hairbrush." Let's discuss. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

So the lesson in this VeggieTales episode is what to do abt bullies #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

i didn't like the lesson
we'll get to the reasons why in a minute. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

So, the first story, abt Junior & the playground bully Gordon #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Junior "solves the problem" by deciding that he's not afraid & he's going to stand up to Gordon & say Gordon doesn't have the right to kick them out of the playground #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

& Junior stands up & says he doesn't care if Gordon beats him up, he's going to come back every day & stand up to him #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

so..... that was a giant bluff, right? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

i don't feel comfortable w this lesson bc it's abt how the bullying victim can try to make themself less of a target/make it not interesting for the bully to bully them #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

it feels like this advice abt how to respond to bullying ACCEPTS that the bully has the power & it's just abt what you can do to make him less interested in bullying you #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

I think an authority figure needs to step in & tell the bully it is NOT okay to treat ppl that way, even if they do make themselves easy targets or whatever #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

This advice abt what *you* should do & what *you* should say & how confident *you* should act when standing up to a bully sends the message that it's *your* responsibility to stop him from bullying you #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

And if a kid tries following this advice and it doesn't "work", then what? It would be easy for the kid to conclude that it's their own fault. They might think they didn't follow the advice correctly and need to try harder. When in reality there will always exist mean/abusive people in the world. Sometimes you just need to cut them out of your life, because trying to change them is not going to work.

personally i don't know what the current thinking is on a healthy way to handle childhood bullies, but my starting point would be the concept of BOUNDARIES #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

ie, it's not okay for ppl to treat you that way, & i do NOT accept the situation being framed as "the bully has the power & it's my job to say/do the right things to get him to stop" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

The bully is the one who's doing something bad. That should be the focus- an authority figure telling the bully their behavior is not okay & they need to stop. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

I don't like this focus on how the victims should respond. it feels victim-blamey. almost like saying "you are LETTING this happen to you by not standing up to them in the correct way" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

okay next was the story of Minnesota Cuke. the rival professor was a bully to him. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Minnesota is so mad & vows to get revenge. The audience is meant to understand that this is wrong. This makes Minnesota into a bully too. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

So yes, I agree revenge is wrong. But. We need to have a discussion abt the difference between justice & revenge. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

I would say revenge is when you're driven by your own hurt/anger & you want to hurt the other person in a way that's not related to the amount of damage they actually did, but motivated by your desire to make them suffer #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Whereas justice is when someone pays for what they did wrong, in a way that's reasonable & proportional to the actual damage they did #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

As an aside: Actually, I believe there are 3 aspects to justice:
1. help the victim
2. punish the person who did wrong
3. prevent it from happening again in the future
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

but in church they only talked about the "punishment" part of justice #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Anyway. It is wrong for Minnesota to try to get revenge. But it is GOOD to hold mr lunt accountable & make him face justice. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

But this veggietales episode just said "turn the other cheek" & "god wants us to love our enemies"- didn't say it's good to seek justice & let bad ppl get the punishment they deserve #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

"Turn the other cheek" can be an effective strategy for getting people to stop mistreating you. (For example, look at nonviolent protest during the Civil Rights movement.) BUT. It's only going to be effective if you've really thought it through. If you've evaluated the risks and possible outcomes, if you're clear about what your goals are, if you understand the power dynamics of the situation, if you have a plan for how to set up a situation where "turn the other cheek" will make a big impact. In other words, it's only going to work if you're able to carefully evaluate it beforehand and understand exactly what you're doing and have the option to NOT use it if you decide it's not useful. Don't just naively do it because "it's the right thing to do."

personally i don't think "love your enemies" was the right response RIGHT AFTER Minnesota & Julia were ABANDONED ON AN OLD BROKEN BRIDGE by their "enemy" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

like........... how about "it's okay to be mad, but don't act on it until you calm down & think rationally abt it" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Personally I would focus on your own emotional health- ie, being constantly mad & wanting revenge isn't a healthy state to be in #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

so you should learn to handle your emotions in a healthy way FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, bc YOUR OWN emotional health matters. not because "it's the right thing to do" or any crap like that #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Then Minnesota tells the Canadian mounties not to arrest mr lunt. umm. didn't he just try to kill you though....? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

i mean, this is a lighthearted kids' movie, maybe Minnesota & Julia weren't actually in any danger. but it seemed to me that mr lunt left them trapped down there to die #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

BUT SERIOUSLY, if somebody tries to kill you, you shouldn't ask the police not to arrest them, just bc "god says to love our enemies" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

especially since there's no indication whatsoever that lunt recognizes he did a bad thing & repents #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

like, don't you think he's going to show reckless disregard for ppl's lives again in the future?
like don't just let him go bc of some lofty "love your enemies" bullshit #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

and oh i rolled my eyes SO HARD at the part where mr lunt was like "wow you did a nice thing for me, i don't understand why" *cue opportunity to talk abt god's love* #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

bc this is what they taught us in sunday school. be loving to the ppl that are mean to us, & they will be astonished & desperate to know how it's possible we can be so kind when they are so mean #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

... and there's your opportunity to tell them abt jesus! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

I remember I actually tried this, as a little kid. Another kid, let's call him Mark, was always trying to be the first one to get off the school bus, instead of letting us all file out one row at a time from front to back like the bus driver said. I believed Mark's behavior was very unfair to me (and all the kids who were waiting their turn), but I responded by "loving my enemy" and politely letting him go first even when it was my turn. GUESS WHAT? He never said "wow why are you so nice to me when I'm so mean to you?" He probably didn't even know that I believed he was mistreating me. I had extremely strong feelings about how Mark was being such a bad person- and probably nobody else even noticed because I never said anything about it. I just stood quietly and let him go first, imagining that he understood how generous and forgiving I was being, and how unfair his own behavior was. Imagining that I was "heaping burning coals on his head."

spoiler: THE REAL WORLD DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

over here in the real world, if you act loving toward ppl who mistreat you, you give them no incentive to change their behavior, & they will walk all over you forever #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

which would be OBVIOUS if we taught kids abt BOUNDARIES #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Also i want to talk abt the story of Samson
which Minnesota sort of learns little-by-little throughout his adventure #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

First of all, the biblical story of Samson is EXTREMELY F**KED UP & very much NOT suitable for children & can't be simplified to a single moral lesson. & Samson should NOT be taken as a role model #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

let me give you a little taste: Samson told a weird riddle at his wedding which made his wife's whole family mad at him & then he got mad at them & went off & killed a bunch of ppl #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

later Samson comes back to see his wife, but her father doesn't let him in (he assumed that relationship was over bc of that whole incident at the wedding) so Samson gets mad ... #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

...So Samson catches 300 foxes (what?) & ties their tails together in pairs (WHAT?) & lights them on fire (WHATTTTTTTTT) & releases them to go burn the philistines' fields #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

and so on
like, the whole story of Samson is one giant WTF after another #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

VeggieTales claiming "he fought against the philistine bullies" wayyyy oversimplifies things #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

and yes, i suppose in the bible story it is true that, even though a big deal was made of Samson's hair, his real power came from god, not his hair #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

but like that was just 1 little piece in a parade of WTF and murder #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

my point is, let's not act like Samson is the kind of story you can pull 1 nice little lesson from & teach sunday school kids #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

that very much misrepresents the biblical story of Samson. i might even go so far as to call it dishonest #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

like what happens when you teach kids "Samson is a story abt how god gives us the power to love our enemies" & then later they go read the bible story & try to force it into that mold? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

note: i'm pretty sure veggietales did not actually ever specify what power god gave Samson, exactly. heavily implied it was the power to love one's enemies. ... #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

... but those of us who read our bibles know it was the power to kill a whole building of philistines in a murder/suicide sort of thing #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

see what i mean when i said this story really isn't appropriate for children? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa wow they are using the story of SAMSON to teach kids to LOVE THEIR ENEMIES oh my godddd let's take a minute to just marvel at how completely backwards that is.

Anyway let's wrap up. VeggieTales "Minnesota Cuke & the Search for Samson's Hairbrush" was abt what to do abt bullying #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

but i don't think it's good how the lesson focused on the "right" way for a victim to respond, rather than asserting, in no uncertain terms, that the bully is doing a BAD THING & should be held accountable #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

@pnumber628 Doesn't sound like it addressed how bullying is a form of ABUSE and how it can have a long-term effect on people, either. (There are adults who were abused as children by other children who deal with stuff like C-PTSD, anxiety, among other things.)

—Shelly (@mizshellytee) 2018-04-12

it reminds me of complementarianism teaching women whose husbands treat them bad that they just need to submit more & their husband will magically start being nice #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

like, it accepted the framing of the situation that has the bully on top, w all the power, & the only thing the victims can do is try to entice the bully's whims in a certain direction #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

... & hope it works
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

i don't think "love your enemies" & "turn the other cheek" & "don't let him see your fear" are good advice in this situation #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

All right, those are my thoughts on VeggieTales "Minnesota Cuke & the Search for Samson's hairbrush" ~ thanks for tuning in #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-12

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To see all my VeggieTales reviews: Perfect Number Watches VeggieTales (Master Post)