Praying Non-Literally

The tortoise and the hare. Image source.

In my post The Prayer That Jesus Taught Us To Pray, I said that instead of viewing prayer as talking to God, "What if prayer is a ritualized way to express our hopes and our understanding of our place in the world?" And I want to flesh that out a little more.

Maybe "ritualized" isn't the right word- but what I want to say is, a mode of communication where we format the words into a certain structure/genre, but the actual meaning of it isn't the surface-level statements of that structure. The actual meaning is something more abstract and deeper, and the structure is just a vehicle for communicating those deeper ideas.

Some examples:

1. Satire

Satire is a style of writing where you take some bit of truth and then present it in an exaggerated way in order to show how ridiculous it is. So at the surface level, the statements in the satire are not true. But their purpose is to make a point.

For example, The Onion is a satire news site. The articles say things that are not true- but there's a purpose to it, and sometimes they make really insightful points. Here's an Onion link:

Experts: Ebola Vaccine At Least 50 White People Away - This one's from 2014, and it says that medical experts have publicly discussed a timeline for an ebola vaccine in terms of how many white people are affected. Okay, that's not true, no one said that. But the point it is making is that ebola is a deadly disease which the world should take seriously- but the world is not taking it seriously because mostly it's African people who are being affected by it. The point of the article is to call out the implicit racism in what kinds of issues get treated as important.

But if you just take it at face value, as if it's describing something that really happened, you will think that health experts really did say that ebola only really matters if it affects white people, and that everyone just nodded along and this is fine. No- the point of it is not to read it and accept that it's true; the point is to expose the racism in how the world was reacting to ebola.

2. Fables

A fable is a little story which is supposed to teach some kind of life lesson. Sometimes they have talking animals or magic- things that are not real. 

For example, "The Tortoise and the Hare" is an old fable where the tortoise and hare are having a race, and the hare runs fast initially but then gets distracted and doesn't finish, while the tortoise keeps plugging along and eventually crosses the finish line. And we are supposed to learn that "slow and steady wins the race."

This is not a true story, and if you think it's a true story, you'll get bogged down in all kinds of details. How did the tortoise and hare communicate with each other in order to agree on the rules for the race? Do animals understand the concept of a race? Do animals understand the concept of a finish line? If you ask all these questions, you're missing the point, because it's not a true story. But the point is to teach a lesson which is useful and true, in some sense.

3. Job interviews

On the surface, a job interview consists of an interviewer asking questions, and a candidate answering the questions. But the point is not "here is a question, now I will correctly answer the question." That's not the point at all. As a candidate, the important thing is not to answer the questions correctly; the important thing is to communicate a deeper message that says "I am the kind of person you would want to hire for this job." (And a secondary purpose is to find out information about the job, so you can decide for yourself if you would even want to work there or not.)

So for example, the interviewer asks, "What's your biggest strength?" You're not supposed to say what your actual biggest strength is, by some absolute objective measure. Maybe you're really good at making animal sounds, or pouring milk into cereal in exactly the right proportions, or making babies laugh... perhaps you're in the top 1% of people in some weird little niche ability, such that it would make sense to say that's your biggest strength. No! Don't tell the interviewer that!

The answer you actually need to give to this question is not "what's your biggest strength" but "talk about a strength you have, that is related to this job, that will make the interviewer believe that you are a person they should hire."

Or, maybe the interviewer says, "Tell me about a problem you had in your previous job, and how you solved it." You don't have to take this super literally. Maybe you can't think of an example from your previous job, but you have a good example from the job you worked at before that. That's fine! Talk about that! It's not about the literal words of the interviewers' questions; it's about communicating a deeper message about what kind of person you are, and that you are a competent person they would want to hire.

Don't *lie* in a job interview, obviously, but it's okay to not directly answer the question but instead talk about something along the lines of the general idea of the question, with the primary goal being presenting yourself as a good job candidate, rather than literally answering the question.

The surface-level statements all need to be true, but the actual *meaning* of the job interview is not in the surface-level statements.

4. Sharing links to news stories

Let's say you have a website, and you post links to news articles. And a lot of these links are about some topic, like, immigrants committing crimes, or something. Each individual story is true on its own- statistically, there must be immigrants who commit crimes; any large population will inevitably have some members who commit crimes. It's certainly possible to collect the facts about specific cases where this happens, and write true news articles.

So, each individual story is true, but the effect of sharing so many of them is that it creates the impression that this is really common. That's the "deeper meaning" being communicated. And this might be unintentional in a lot of cases- maybe you consume a lot of content related to some certain topic, and it makes you subconsciously believe that whatever you're reading about is more common and normal than it is in reality.

You can even get cases where something happens, and we feel like we shouldn't talk about it because it plays into some harmful political narrative. I really hate this, this tendency to want to cover up true facts about specific real events just because we know that people will not take those facts as simply describing the literal events that happened, but will draw sweeping conclusions. 

5. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

People are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up. I recently realized, when kids answer this question, it's not about what job they're actually going to have when they grow up. It's a way of expressing their interests and their sense of identity. So it's not literally true, but it's still communicating something meaningful.

When I was a kid, I had this book where every page was one of the grades from kindergarten to 12th grade, and every year you were supposed to glue a picture of yourself onto the corresponding page, and write some stuff about what your life was like that year- and each page had the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" along with some checkboxes with potential jobs. For the earlier pages, like for kindergarten kids, the choices were like, "doctor", "firefighter", "policeman", and then you flip ahead to the high school pages and they're like "engineer", "salesperson." Middle-school-Perfect-Number was like, wow this really exposes how fake the whole "what do you want to be when you grow up" thing is. 5-year-old kid checks the box that says "firefighter" but then they grow up a little bit and we don't even offer that checkbox any more, nobody actually believes you when you're 5 years old and you say you're going to be a firefighter.

But! It turns out, it *was* useful and meaningful, even though it has no actual connection to the job the kid will have, decades into the future. It's not actually about that. It's about how the kid understands their own identity, and what they imagine their ideal life to be.

6. Prayer

So now we come back to prayer. Full disclosure, I don't pray, because of all the, uh, unfortunate implications when you really take seriously the belief that God takes action in response to prayer. God's gonna help me with whatever first-world problem is bothering me, while not taking action to help other people with much bigger problems? God's going to choose to take action to answer prayers of people who believe the correct things and pray with the correct attitude... and therefore if some horrible tragedy happens to you, it must be your own fault for not praying correctly?

I just don't want to be a part of that at all. It makes sense that *I* prioritize myself, and I put in more effort to solve my "first-world problems" than I do to help victims of human-rights violations on the other side of the world, but God is supposed to be objective and love everyone equally- it is quite ****ed up if They are actively intervening to help me, when there are wars and atrocities happening to other people.

But here's an idea I'm starting to explore: Prayer isn't *literally* talking to God. God does not hear our prayers and then take action in response to them. Instead, prayer is about using the literary structure of "here's a message we want to tell God" in order to communicate deeper ideas about how we view ourselves and what kind of world we want.

For example: In my 2016 post, Prayer Rates Don't Correlate With Actual Risk, I looked up statistics about the leading causes of death in the US- the top causes are heart disease and cancer. But people aren't constantly praying "God, protect us from heart disease." Instead, people pray for safety from violence, plane crashes, terrorism, etc- things that statistically have a very small chance of affecting you personally. I pointed out that people pray about the things that they are worried about, rather than the things that truly pose a danger to them. And that if Christians truly believe that God acts powerfully in response to our prayers, we should harness that power by identifying the biggest actual threats- using statistics, not whatever fearful thoughts pass through our heads after reading the news- and targeting our prayers toward those threats.

But in that post, I also said this is a terrible idea because then we would have to think about heart disease and cancer constantly, and stress ourselves out, in order to pray most effectively. That's a terrible way to live, and I just cannot believe in a God who chooses to give protection to people according to the amount of worrying they do over heart disease and car accidents which are most likely to occur within 10 miles of their home.

But get this: What if prayer *isn't* a process by which we convince God to intervene in our lives and help us? What if it's *not* true that by naming a specific scenario in your prayers, you tweak the probability of that specific scenario occurring in real life? What if it's not about affecting God at all, but it's about our own feelings and how we view ourselves? If viewed that way, it does make sense that the things people pray about are the things they're worried about, and it doesn't make sense to come up with additional worries to pray about in order to get additional protection from God.

Okay, here's a question: Maybe Christians already *do* view prayer non-literally, and it's just me who misunderstood it and thought God was really gonna do something? Well, no. Christians talk about how they went through medical troubles or financial troubles, and God helped them through it *because* they prayed. "Prayer works!" So people really do believe that God acts in response to prayer.

Still, though, Christians don't actually act in accordance with that belief. They don't treat prayer as something so urgent and powerful, with the Almighty God of the universe standing by to listen to whatever thoughts and requests we have. In practice it's more like... kinda boring and feels like it's not accomplishing anything.

Another thing: Back when I was evangelical and I prayed a lot, I used to wonder why we're supposed to pray over and over for the same thing. I would spend lots of time begging and begging God, over and over, the same things over and over. But, why isn't it enough to just tell God 1 time? Why do They need to be reminded over and over? Are They just really bad at staying on task, and They'll forget to do it if you don't keep reminding Them? Do They need some kind of to-do list app? Jesus said, "your Father knows what you need before you ask him", so why do we even need to pray at all, let alone praying multiple times for the same thing?

(I would say that part of the answer, from an evangelical perspective, is that God only answers prayers if we truly mean it and we ask with the right attitude. If you just pray 1 time and assume God will do it, then you're not taking it seriously enough, and you're acting like you're entitled to God doing things for you. You have to pray over and over to show God you're really serious and humble. Yeah- in this blog post, I'm specifically focusing on the "asking God to do things" aspect of prayer, but evangelicals would tell you that prayer is much more than that.)

Also, I'm not saying "If you look at how prayer is talked about in the bible, and how Christians talk about it, it makes sense in this 'non-literal' interpretation rather than viewing it as 'talking to God.'" No, it's not that simple- I think there are some *aspects* that line up more with the non-literal interpretation, but at the same time, there are plenty of bible verses that definitely talk about prayer like it's literally going to affect God's actions and cause things to happen in the real world.

And I'm not saying, "Well, Christians say prayer is 'talking to God' but that's not literal, it's just a symbol that points to a deeper meaning, so it's fine that people are describing it as 'talking to God'" - no, the implications of "talking to God" are very different from this "it's about how we understand ourselves and what kind of world we want to live in" that I'm describing. If you really go all in on "I'm talking to God" and try to live according to the implications of that, it's bad. So let's not say it's "talking to God" if it's not.

Anyway, this is just an idea I'm exploring. Not sure if I really believe it or not. For a long time, I've been very firm about "I don't pray" because of these issues when it's understood as "talking to God" but maybe I would be interested in it if we viewed it a different way.

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Related

The Prayer That Jesus Taught Us To Pray

Prayer Rates Don't Correlate With Actual Risk

On believing that "prayer works"

What Does God Do When You Pray For An Anonymized Patient By Bed Number?

I Figured Out What The 1-10 Pain Scale Is Actually About

Blogaround

Links not related to the antichrist:

1. That "Pending PayPal Charge" Email Is a Scam — Even Though It Really Came From PayPal (April 28, via) "Don't call the number. Don't reply."

2. The hard problem of AI therapy (February 26, via) "Suppose you’re a high-functioning person with anxiety who discovers that the chatbot can always soothe you on the spot. You ask one question—Do you think I handled that email wrong?—and feel relief. Ten minutes later: But what if she’s actually mad? Then: Can you rewrite my follow-up? Then: List ten reasons I’m not a bad person for sending it."

3. How China’s Deaf Delivery Riders Find a New Life in Gig Work (April 20) "By contrast, most deaf interviewees described becoming delivery riders as turning a new page, one of less discrimination and greater autonomy. Delivery platforms offer features that make interacting with restaurants and customers easier, such as voice-to-text conversion, pre-written messages, and digital badges that will alert users that the rider is deaf."

Also from Sixth Tone: Nine Months After Cloning Its First Yak, China Has 10 More (April 30) "To date, the team has generated over 200 cloned Tibetan yak embryos. By the end of 2028, they aim to build a core herd of over 100 cloned yaks, develop a new high-altitude yak breed, and establish standard breeding protocols."

4. 1 Corinthians 13 in the news (April 27) "Read the Beatitudes from Luke’s Gospel you cowards!"

Also from the Slacktivist: The literary puzzle of Isaiah 1 (April 29) "The current form of our Bibles tricks us into reading Isaiah 1 and Amos 5 as critiques of the religious observance prescribed in the Books of Moses, but actually what we have is the Books of Moses configuring their religious commandments, in part, as a response to and a defense against those critiques in Isaiah and Amos."

5. Soniferous Aether (April 27) From xkcd.

6. Women Have Agency: You Don’t Have to Obey Churches or Husbands Who Want to Control You (April 29) Posting this here because it's important to get the word out about this: If you are a woman who has decided to divorce your abusive husband, and now your church leaders are requiring you to come to a meeting so they can decide if you're allowed to do that, you can just not go. !!! Yes, really! You can just not go! Say no! They can't do anything to you! Even if you signed a "church covenant"- those things are not legally binding. It will not hold up in court. You can say no!

A lot of us spend our whole lives with the mindset "I need to be a good girl" which means when some authority figure says "you have to" do something, then you have to do it. We might not even realize there's another option: NOT doing it.

I'm so glad I learned about boundaries- I really had no idea about any of this before I learned about boundaries.

7. This week in "what Chinese songs is my toddler listening to": 蹦蹦跳跳 沒煩惱 李昕融 舞蹈完整版 簡單舞蹈 律動 廣場舞 洗腦歌 幼兒律動 幼兒舞蹈 兒童舞蹈 兒童律動 抖音舞蹈 動態歌詞 TIKTOK KidsDance【#波波星球泡泡哥哥bobopopo】

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Links related to the antichrist:

1. Trump’s cruel plan for Afghan refugees, briefly explained (April 23, via) "Many of the 1,100 Afghans now stuck in limbo in Qatar aided the US over nearly two decades of war as interpreters working with US troops or served as members of the Afghan special forces. Some, the Times reports, are family members of American soldiers, and more than 400 are children."

2. Texas Tech Issues Ban On Students Writing On LGBTQ+ Topics (April 24) "The implications are profound—and at times border on absurd. In core and lower-level courses, there are no exceptions at all. A history professor course could not allocate instructional time to the Stonewall riots or the gay rights movement. If a U.S. history textbook includes a chapter on the AIDS crisis, the professor must skip it."

3. White House posted photo of Trump, King Charles III with 'TWO KINGS' caption (April 29)

4. James Comey posted a picture of seashells by the seashore. Trump's DOJ indicted him for it. (April 29) "The most embarrassing 24 hours (yet) of the Justice Department in President Donald Trump’s second administration continued apace on Tuesday, when Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche announced another indictment of James Comey, the former FBI director. This time, Comey — targeted by President Donald Trump as a political enemy — was indicted in North Carolina in connection with his since-deleted Instagram post showing a photo of seashells laid out in the shape of the numbers '8647.'"

Also from Law Dork: SCOTUS guts what remained of the Voting Rights Act before taking on TPS termination case (April 30) "The decision in Louisiana v. Callais upended the pivotal civil rights era voting law that Congress initially passed in 1965 and reauthorized several times since, leaving the section at issue “all but a dead letter,” as Justice Elena Kagan said with a somber voice, nearly stone faced, as she announced the dissent from the bench."

I don't really understand this Voting Rights Act case- all the articles I've read say it's so terrible that the Supreme Court has ruled this way, because it allows states to draw districts in a way that racial minority voters are always grouped together with a population of white voters which outnumbers them, and therefore the racial minority voters don't have any meaningful representation. This is confusing to me- it seems to rely on the assumptions that all people of color vote the same way, all white people vote the same way, and white people wouldn't vote for a candidate who would take minorities' needs seriously. Probably this is me being naive about how racism works, and missing some key facts about the history of racist voter suppression. If anyone has an article that explains this, post it in the comment section~

5. U.S. to issue commemorative passports with Trump's picture for America's 250th birthday (April 29) Fortunately it's only the Washington DC office that's doing this, and if you apply for a passport at any other location, you will just get a regular one without the mark of the beast.

6. The Trump team is quietly eliminating U.S. support for birth control abroad (April 29) This makes me so mad. Having penis-in-vagina sex is really common, and for women who are doing that, they *need* to have some kind of birth control, otherwise their lives will be completely dominated by the huge burdens of pregnancy and caring for babies. Those MAGAs claim they are "helping women" by being mean to trans people, while ending the programs that *actually* help women.

Blogaround

Links not related to the antichrist:

1. Merry Christmas! Here's the song "Adoration" by the Newsboys.

2. Australia’s Social Media Ban is a Win for Gambling Companies (December 21)

3. Victory in New Zealand, For Now—Injunction Brings Puberty Blocker Ban to a Screeching Halt (December 18)

4. Funny Numbers (December 22) From xkcd.

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Links related to the antichrist:

1. Families Bring Legal Challenge Against Yale, CCMC For Capitulating To Trump On Trans Youth Care (December 18) "Critically, no law in the United States currently bans gender-affirming care for transgender youth, meaning the hospitals cannot credibly claim federal preemption of state law. Instead, the cessation of care appears to be driven solely by fear of retaliation from the Trump administration. This is particularly significant in Connecticut, which—like several other states where hospitals have dropped care—has strong statutory protections for transgender people, raising the possibility that these decisions violate state civil rights law, a question GLAD is now seeking to resolve."

I have a lot of links from Erin in the Morning: 

Nationwide Trans Youth Care Ban Incoming As Trump Admin Announces "Nuclear Option" Federal Rule (December 19) "These draft rules comprise a dangerous and unconstitutional attempt to undermine the longstanding right of states to ensure the health and well-being of their residents, the right of parents and caregivers to support and love trans and nonbinary young people, and the guidance of doctors and medical organizations on the well-established standard of care."

ACTION ITEM: You can submit a public comment here, Medicare and Medicaid Programs; Hospital Condition of Participation: Prohibiting Sex-Rejecting Procedures for Children. The comment period ends February 17, 2026.

Trans Youth Emergency Project Offers Families Guidance To Help Keep Getting Care After New Trump Anti-Trans Rule (December 21) "Adam Polaski explained, 'At every turn, we have been able to pivot and scale up and show people the reason that this is important. Folks have stepped up with their dollars, and also folks have requested support and spread the word. So right now, I don’t want folks to feel like they shouldn’t reach out because they ‘don’t really need it’ or someone else ‘needs it more than them.’ Everyone needs the support right now, and it’s ok. We have the capacity to take it on.'"

You can donate here: Trans Youth Emergency Project

ACLU Pledges To Challenge Trump Admin In Court Over National Trans Youth Care Ban Rule (December 23) 

2. Let's all watch the CECOT 60-Minutes segment that Bari Weiss doesn't want us to watch. 

[content note: torture]

60 Minus (December 22) "If the administration’s refusal to participate becomes a valid reason to spike a story, we have effectively handed them a “kill switch” for any reporting they find inconvenient."

Links where you can watch it: here, here, here

3. The year Trump broke the federal government (December 21, via) This is very long, and hard to read. I haven't read the whole thing. It's about the huge numbers of government workers who have been fired this year.

4. The Horns and Whistles Work (December 19, via) "Border Patrol might spend hours waiting to detain an immigrant, only to be thwarted by a united neighborhood effort."

5. Univ. of Oklahoma punishes instructor for failing Christian student who didn't do the assignment (December 23) "The only person who behaved with integrity in this saga was the graduate instructor who gave Fulnecky detailed, thoughtful feedback. And that’s the only person who was punished."

6. ICE officer accused of excessive force, then sent back to work despite active probe (December 24) "By the following Monday, Mojica was back on the job, without any further explanation from the agency."

7. Biden stopped the executions of 37 men. Trump's DOJ wants to punish them (December 23) "'These are new punishments,' said Maher. 'This is an additional punishment for these men who have already been sentenced.'"

"The Case for Open Borders": Exploiting workers on both sides

US-Mexico border. Image source: By User Larsinio on en.wikipedia - Originally from en.wikipedia; description page is (was) here19:00, 11 April 2006 Larsinio 1152x862 (189,587 bytes) (from http://www.fmcsa.dot.gov/print.asp?URL=/cross-border/nafta-rules/new-mexrule.htm), Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=791553

Here's another quote from "The Case for Open Borders". From page 208:

Simultaneously, 50,000 midwestern auto workers, mostly in the midwest, lost their jobs. Many of those jobs went to Mexico, where, Akers Chacón reports, productivity rates increased over 66 percent between 1990 and 1999. During the same period, however, real wages fell by about 20 percent. Unionization rates also dropped over the same period. In other words, the open-borders-for-capital and closed-borders-for-people schema is a lose-lose for both American and Mexican workers. Closed borders is a win only for the corporations, which use the border as a wedge to lower wages, undercut worker protections, and keep the assembly line zipping.

Opening borders would immediately strip corporations of a key tool of exploitation, offering workers easier access to decent wages and facilitating collaboration and collective organization.

On Living Far Away From One's Family For Financial Reasons

Cruise ship. Image source.

I have a couple anecdotes to share about families where one or both parents live in a different city from their children, in order to make more money, because there aren't good enough job opportunities in their hometown.

This is a well-known phenomenon in China. They are called "migrant workers" and "left behind children." It sounds awful, being away from your kids, only able to see them once a year- but it's inevitable that this happens, because of the economic disparity between the big cities and the countryside in China. In big cities like Shanghai (where I live), the salaries are higher and the cost of living is higher. In small cities or rural areas, salaries are lower and the cost of living is lower. So, mathematically, the way to earn the most money for one's family is for a parent to live in a big city and earn a higher salary, while the child stays in their hometown where the cost of living is lower. This kind of situation is always going to exist when there is such a big economic gap between different places.

I have several anecdotes about what I've seen in Asia:

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When I was in college in the US, I had a friend who was an international student from China, let's call her Anna. She helped me a lot with studying Chinese. At one point, she told me about a movie called "Last Train Home," which is about Chinese migrant workers traveling home for Chinese New Year. They only get to see their children 1 time out of the whole year. Anna organized a film screening in one of the classrooms on campus, and a bunch of us got together and watched this movie.

Unfortunately, I didn't really have any empathy about it, back then. My feelings were "why are we supposed to feel bad for these people who are only able to see their children once a year? They chose to move to a different city. Nobody was forcing them. They shouldn't have done that." I had a sort of "family values" mindset where we imagine what a "family" is supposed to look like, and if anyone can't live up to that, we naively blame them and say it's because they didn't value their family enough.

And also, I had sort of a "just world fallacy" thing going on. I didn't want to believe that we really live in a world where, for some parents in some places, there is actually a convincing argument to be made that "maybe the best thing I can do for my children is move far away, and leave them behind, and earn more money and send it back so they can have a better life." That's really awful to think about. It's really awful to face the reality that some people truly are in that situation. That, in some places in China, it's extremely normal for the parents to be gone, and the children are raised by other relatives and only get to see their parents once a year.

I didn't want to believe that that was real, so I just thought to myself "I would never do that" and decided that the parents in "Last Train Home" should just simply have not moved away from their children. Like it was that easy.

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Sometimes I see "heartwarming" short videos on Chinese social media about parents who make such long and difficult journeys home to see their kids for Chinese New Year. I feel these are in the same genre as American news articles about "these kids got together and had a bake sale to pay off their classmates' school lunch debt" or "these employees all donated their vacation time so that their pregnant colleague could have maternity leave, how heartwarming." It's not heartwarming- it's messed-up that this situation even exists in the first place.

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Years ago, at a previous job, working as a software engineer in Shanghai, I had a coworker whose wife and child lived in a different city near Shanghai. This coworker would live in Shanghai from Monday to Friday, and go home on the weekends to be with his wife and child. This is a thing that people do, because you can get a better salary and better job opportunities in Shanghai than in other nearby cities.

That was before covid. Now that covid has made it more normal to work from home, I think someone in that situation should try to make an arrangement with their employer where they always work from home on Mondays or Fridays, so they only have to be in Shanghai 4 days out of the week, instead of 5. (I know that in the US, many jobs are fully remote now, because of the societal changes that came with covid, but I haven't heard of fully-remote jobs in China.)

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I have an American friend in Shanghai, let's call her Chelsea. Her husband is Chinese, and his parents live in a different city.

When Chelsea was pregnant, she told me, "my mother-in-law says we can send the baby to live with her?????"

And I said, "Make sure you make it very clear that your answer is NO. Because she's not joking about that."

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Since both me and my husband have full time jobs and don't really want to do housework, we hire an ayi. "Ayi" is what female nannies/ maids/ domestic workers are called in China. It's common for people at our income level to hire an ayi to do housework/cooking/childcare.

We had always hired Chinese ayis before, but at one point, around the time our second child was born, we decided to hire a Filipino ayi. The situation with Filipino ayis is, it's not legal for them to work in this job in China. But, there is demand for them, because they speak English. International people, like me, want to hire Filipino ayis because they speak English so it's easier for me to communicate with them. Chinese people want to hire Filipino ayis who will talk to their kids in English, to help the kids learn. Filipino ayis are generally believed to be better trained and more hard-working, compared to Chinese ayis.

Anyway, we found a Filipino ayi, let's call her Brenda. When we first had her come for a job interview, she told us about her legal situation- she entered China on a tourist visa, and overstayed it, and that was years ago. She has no valid Chinese visa. It's illegal for her to still be in China. She hasn't traveled back to the Philippines, because then she wouldn't be able to enter China again. Within China, she doesn't travel on trains or planes because there's a possibility that they might discover she doesn't have a valid visa. If she has to travel somewhere, she has to ride in somebody's car.

She said that at one of her previous jobs, the family that employed her heard that police were in the area looking for Filipinos working illegally, so they warned her about it and she had to move elsewhere and find a different job.

I felt bad for her, but also I believe that feeling bad for someone is not a good reason to hire them, because then you'll have weird emotions about how you're doing such a noble thing for them, and you expect them to perform gratefulness, etc. Weird strings attached.

Also, I wasn't sure about it, because I felt I didn't clearly understand the legal situation enough to know whether I was putting myself at risk. I'm an immigrant in China too. I don't want to get in trouble. 

But, I also wanted to find out more about Filipino ayis who work in China. 

But also, Brenda didn't have any experience caring for newborn babies, and I knew in the long term I would need an ayi to take care of the baby full-time when my maternity leave ended. Brenda wouldn't be the right person for that. (In China, daycares typically start at around age 2. Before that, usually people get a grandparent to come and take care of the baby while the parents are at work, or hire an ayi.)

Anyway, we decided to hire Brenda temporarily- and I told her this pretty early on- I said she would probably work for us just a few months, and then we would need to find someone else who had experience with newborn babies.

Brenda was great. She had a good attitude, worked hard, always asked me questions to make sure she was doing things the way I wanted. She was really good to work with. It was easy to communicate with her because she could speak English. I speak Chinese, so that's how I've communicated with Chinese ayis in the past, but it's just easier in English. And my son (who was preschool-age) loved her. (He loves everyone though.)

We paid her more than we would have paid a Chinese ayi. In my experience, Chinese ayis get a salary around 40-50 RMB/hr (this is about 6-7 USD), but we paid Brenda around 60-70 RMB/hr (about 9-10 USD). Actually I have no idea what the normal hourly rate is for Filipino ayis in Shanghai. We just asked her what her previous salary was, and believed whatever she said, and based it on that. I was okay with that because I knew it would just be a short-term thing. If she was going to work for us longer, I would have put more effort into figuring out what a reasonable salary would be. 

But, yeah, I felt it didn't make sense to have her work for us long-term, because what I really needed was someone to take care of the baby, and why would I pay so much extra money when she hasn't even worked with newborn babies before? (And she was also looking for more hours than what I wanted to give her- so it just wasn't going to work out long-term. But we really liked her and I'm glad to have met her and found out something about what life is like for Filipinos working illegally in China.)

There were several instances where I felt like, I'm so privileged and out-of-touch with what her life is like. For example, right when she started working for us, I tried to get a key card for her so she could get into our building. You have to go to the apartment management office with your ID and register in order to get a key card. Brenda was very much NOT willing to do that. I felt like... I'm asking her to do something that might put her at risk. Like I'm so out-of-touch, I don't even understand what I'm asking her to do. Fortunately (???) our apartment complex doesn't actually care about security, and the building door is always left open, so she was able to enter the building even without a key card. 

Also, sometimes she came with me to pick up my son from school. When we were waiting outside the gate with all the other parents, she would kind of nervously side-eye the school security guards. And I felt like she was being paranoid- but what do I know? It's easy for me to say "she's being paranoid" and judge her, when I'm not the one at risk of being deported. It's not right for me to judge what level of "paranoid" she should be.

She told me she has friends who never even take the subway, because there are police there. She took the subway herself though.

She didn't have a bank account in China. I used WeChat to pay her. (WeChat is a Chinese app for texting and social media, and it also has a payment function- you can easily send people money, and stores in China all accept WeChat Pay, so there's no problem using your WeChat wallet to buy stuff.) She couldn't open an actual bank account because banks require international customers to have a valid visa.

And here's another weird thing- one time, we were cleaning out our kitchen and found an old rice cooker, and we were gonna get rid of it, and Brenda asked if she could have it. To mail to somebody in the Philippines. I found it hard to believe that somebody in the Philippines would want our old rice cooker (do they even have the same kind of outlets there? The US has different outlets than China, I have no idea what they have in the Philippines) but she really wanted it, so we gave it to her. Another time we found a box of cables from old electronics, and we were going to throw them away because we didn't even know what they were from, and Brenda wanted those. I think maybe she could get money from recycling them. In the places we've lived in China, there have always been people looking through the trash bins, looking for things they can get money for. Mostly cardboard boxes and plastic bottles. If we hadn't given those old cables to Brenda, I'm sure somebody else would have taken them out of our trash. 

She said that she's heard from other Filipinos that one strategy would be to marry a Chinese man, in order to get legal immigrant status. But, she said, she doesn't really want to. I said, yeah you shouldn't marry someone if you don't want to.

And, yeah, I believe it's a bad idea to marry someone if you don't want to. But I also think it's a bad idea to live in China as an illegal immigrant, but I can't judge because obviously I don't know what her situation was in the Philippines, and why she decided to come to China, and how long she initially planned to stay, and if her life is better in China than it would have been in the Philippines, and if she is earning money for the purpose of supporting family in the Philippines, etc. (Her situation is different from the other anecdotes in this post because she doesn't have kids.) I didn't ask her any of that because it's none of my business. (Also there is a power difference, because I was her boss- she has to act like she cares about my problems, regardless of whether she does or not. So, try not to exploit that.)

There are people in this world who chose to get married for those kinds of reasons, not because of a romantic "I want to spend my life with this person." There are people who are in a situation where that is actually, somehow, a good idea.

From my point of view, it doesn't make sense- she can't even have a bank account, she can't go home and see her family, she can't really travel in China, she always has to be worried about police, she always told me about problems she was having with her landlord, probably it's easy for a landlord to exploit Filipinos who are in China illegally, especially since she couldn't speak very much Chinese, and so on and so on- why would someone choose to live as an illegal immigrant in China? But she knows her own situation, and I don't, so I can't judge. There's a lot of information I just don't have.

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We went on a cruise from Shanghai to Japan. In the ship's main dining room, we were assigned to a certain table, so we had the same waiter every night. Towards the end of the cruise, we were friendly enough with him to chat about what life is really like for him on the cruise ship. He was also from the Philippines. Let's call him Daniel.

We chatted about a LOT of things with him! He said he was happy to talk to us because a lot of the passengers only speak Chinese, which makes it hard for him because he doesn't speak Chinese at all. I started out asking him if the ship only travels between Shanghai and Japan, or if it also goes to other places. And I asked if they have cruises all the time, or if there are some days in between cruises where they don't have any passengers. Turns out, they have cruises ALL the time. Daniel said that after we all leave, the crew has to work hard cleaning all the rooms to get ready for new passengers to arrive that same day. They even bring the waiters in to help with cleaning the rooms.

I asked him if the rooms for the crew were smaller than our rooms (yes).

We had seen the waitstaff all having a meeting in the afternoon, when the dining room was empty, so we asked him what that was about. He got talking about the expectations for their work performance, and how if some customer gives them an 8 out of 10 review, they get called in to the manager's office, like "What did you do???!!!!" (I said, "wait, 8 is bad???") Daniel says, "What can I do, some people just never give anything higher than a 7."

(A week later, when I got the email about filling out the survey, I gave the staff all 10 out of 10. And there was one question on there, "Was there any crew member that told you to give them a good review?" and I put "no" because probably they get in trouble for that. Later there was a question "Was there any crew member that did a really good job?" and I put his name in there, and also the assistant waiter and the woman who cleaned our rooms.)

My husband and I had been wondering about the people who work on the ship- we felt like maybe it would be a good job to have when you're young and want to see the world and you don't have any family commitments. So we asked Daniel about that. He said, his wife also works on the ship. Yeah, it's common for the crew to get married to each other, because you're on a ship in the middle of the ocean, where else are you going to meet anyone?

He said, they have a son. The son is in the Philippines- the grandparents are raising him. And Daniel misses his son a lot, but working on the cruise ship he's able to earn more money than he would in the Philippines, to give his son a good education. And last time he visited home, his son was crying at the airport telling him not to leave... And how he hopes that soon his wife will stop working on the cruise ship and go back home, and hopefully in a few years he will too.

The cruise ship had an activity where you could pay 100 dollars per person to take the "behind-the-scenes tour." No need to do that- you can just talk to the waiter. (I also talked to the Chinese woman who cleaned our room every day.) The people who work on the ship, they know a lot of things. Many of those things they probably aren't supposed to tell you- their job is to give you whatever you ask for, and be extremely polite, and pretend to be happy even if the customers are really annoying and unreasonable, and give you a perfect vacation experience, and make you feel like the world revolves around you...

If you want to ask them things, for your own curiosity, obviously don't do it at a time when they're busy. That's annoying. You should thank them for the work they are doing, show them you appreciate it, be friendly, maybe from there you'll have a chance to ask them about their life, or the practical logistics of the cruise ship, or whatever, if they're willing to talk about it.

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This is a real thing in this world- people who are in a situation where their best option is to live far away from their children. And this will inevitably be true, when some places have much better job opportunities and a higher cost of living, compared to other places. Mathematically, the way to earn the most money and to have that money be used most effectively, is to have the income-earners of the family live in the places with higher salaries, and the children to live in places with a lower cost of living. I feel sad about it, but it's not something that can be easily changed- it's entirely based on the very big economic differences between different places in this world.

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Related:

That's What Radicalized Me (a post about immigration)

"The Case For Open Borders" (book review) 

"The Case for Open Borders": Remittances

On "Unjust Marriage" 

Dog Hotels and Poverty Existing at the Same Time

Blogaround

Links not related to that felon:

1. Fan.tasia (2016, via) Wow, this is incredible. It's a mashup of scenes from Disney cartoons, mostly Disney Renaissance, and the way they're all cut together is extremely well-done. Amazing.

2. Will Market Shake Up Smooth the Road for Takeout Couriers? (April 30) "At the same time, JD announced plans to recruit 100,000 full-time couriers and provide them with social insurance, a potentially major shift in an industry that currently relies on a freelance, uninsured workforce."

Also from Sixth Tone: Starting Today, Rules Against Prepaid Rip-Offs Take Effect in China (May 1) I hear about this kind of thing all the time in China. People join a gym and pay for a yearlong membership, and then suddenly the gym closes, and it's impossible to get in contact with anyone to get a refund. Or people buy a package of 50 classes for their kid to do some kind of sport or extracurricular activity, and suddenly, without any notice at all, the place closes and there's no way to get your money back. So what you have to do is, first of all, DON'T prepay for things like that, and second, try to only buy classes/memberships from companies that have existed for a long time and are unlikely to suddenly disappear.

So I'm glad to see that China is making laws to protect customers in these kinds of cases.

3. Debate and Switch - The Trope That Ruins Stories (March 28, via) 33-minute video. It's about stories which set up a really interesting moral conflict, where the villain points out some problem, or presents some idea which could potentially be a good idea, and it could be a really cool story if that conflict was explored. But nope, it doesn't get explored, it gets totally ignored because then the villain randomly kills a bunch of people, or something, and so we all see that the villain is bad and must be defeated, and nobody ever comes back to the insightful points the villain had brought up in the beginning.

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Links related to that felon:

As always, you don't have to read all the news if it's too stressful. Instead, DO SOMETHING. Protest. Contact your congress people. Donate money. Check on the immigrants in your life and see if they need help.

You don't have to be up-to-date on everything! Better to find 1 issue you care about a lot, and fight for that. Better to do that than just be paralyzed and overwhelmed.

1. Mohsen Mahdawi — the Columbia student arrested at his citizenship appointment — speaks (April 29) "I see the risk, I see the opportunity, and I want the American people to see this, too. To see this level of injustice. That I am doing everything legally, that I have prepared and studied for the Constitution and that I went willingly and respected the law, did everything the way how it's supposed to be done."

2. Trump is jailing immigrant families again. A mother, father and teen tell of ‘anguish on a daily basis’ (April 24) "Gabriela and Jason struggled to find the words to help their daughter. 'Imagine seeing your child sad because they can’t go to school. And you can’t even say, ‘Let’s go to the corner. Let’s go get ice cream. Or some chips,’' Gabriela said. 'How do you explain any of this to a child? Your mom can’t do anything for you, your dad can’t do anything.'"

3. RFK Jr. to require placebo-controlled studies for new vaccines (May 1) Well this is a bad idea.

4. Education Department stops $1 billion in funding for school mental health (May 1) "To be able to provide those [mental health] services and then have it ripped away for something that is completely out of our control, it's horrible,' Fialkiewicz says. 'I feel for our students more than anything because they're not gonna get the services that they need.'"

5. Trump-appointed federal judge blocks use of Alien Enemies Act for Venezuelans in South Texas (May 1) "Other courts have sought to block the Trump administration from deporting anyone under the act. But this is the first time a judge has ruled that the act cannot be used against people who are alleged gang members invading the United States."

6. DOJ Proposes Giving Legal Advice to Immigrants in Cases It Oversees (May 1) "'[Families are] being asked to trust the government that harmed them to tell them how to move forward in the best way for them,' said Sara Van Hofwegen, managing director of legal access programs at Acacia Center for Justice, which has provided the services for the past year. 'The government hasn’t shown them that they have their interests in mind.'" Yeah this is extremely suspicious.

Team Rocket Should Get Real Jobs

James, Jessie, and Meowth. Image source.

My son watches a lot of pokemon- the old cartoon from when I was growing up- and I have a hot take about it. I have mentioned this many times to my husband and son but they don't seem as worked up about it as I am, so let me post it on the blog. I need to get this out.

Okay here it is: Team Rocket should get real jobs.

Every single episode, Jessie and James are following Ash around, trying to make trouble, and they always fail. Don't they have anything better they could be doing with their time? They have a lot of skills- you see this in every single episode- surely they could get real jobs?

What's going on here? Is the economy of pokemon world in such bad shape that they really can't find any other job besides following a preteen around, like the world's most pathetic groupies? Have they been blacklisted by all normal employers for trying to start a union? Whyyyy don't they get real jobs?

You only have one life to live. Don't you want to spend it on something worthwhile, rather than following around some pokemon trainer all the time, and continually failing to kidnap pikachu? I'm just really concerned about them. They could do so much better.

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Do you have any strong opinions about inconsequential details of children's media? Leave them in the comments section~

Blogaround

Links not related to the antichrist:

1. Texas Banned Abortion. Then Sepsis Rates Soared. (February 20, via) "The surge in this life-threatening condition, caused by infection, was most pronounced for patients whose fetus may still have had a heartbeat when they arrived at the hospital."

2. How China’s ‘Ne Zha 2’ Beat ‘Inside Out 2’ to Become the Highest-Grossing Animated Film in History (February 25) There's a new cartoon movie in theatres, "Ne Zha 2" (pronounced "neh ja 2") and it's HUGE. It's breaking records. Not sure if y'all outside of China have heard about this?

3. Rain, Ruin, Repeat: The Chinese Villages Caught in Climate Chaos (February 25) "At 1 a.m. on July 27, villages across the region awoke to a relentless barrage of phone alerts, broadcast warnings, and the deafening clang of gongs — a rural alarm meant to signal immediate danger."

4. A child has died in the Texas measles outbreak (February 26) This is really sad. Everyone, make sure your kids are vaccinated.

5. Over 7,000 from scam centers in Myanmar are awaiting repatriation after crackdown (February 27) "Amy Miller, who is Southeast Asia director of aid group Acts of Mercy International and is based in Thailand's Mae Sot on the Myanmar border, told the AP she has never seen such a large-scale release of potential victims of human trafficking."

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Links related to the antichrist:

1. Btw, I don't actually believe in "the" antichrist. I just call that felon "the antichrist" or "the orange antichrist" because it's BONKERS how the people who were always on the lookout for the antichrist (signaling the end of the world is coming), who speculated endlessly about every major world leader possibly being the antichrist (is the pope the antichrist? is Obama the antichrist???), on the lookout for a leader who is greedy and dishonest and immoral and yet the crowds love him and he's even deceived Christians - THOSE PEOPLE are the ones who are now bowing down and selling their souls to him. It's just so unbelievable to me.

Here's what I want to say to them: When Christians say, "Jesus is Lord," what we mean is "Jesus is Lord and Caesar is not." Get it right.

2. "See You In Court": Maine Gov Responds to Trump's Face Over Anti-Trans EO At Governor's Address (February 23) "In a statement, Maine Attorney General Aaron Frey vowed to 'defend Maine’s laws and block efforts by the president to bully and threaten us.'"

Also from Erin in the Morning: Nazis Burned Trans Books To Usher In Fascism: Now Trump Does The Same (February 25) "Trump’s digital erasure of transgender people is more than policy—it is a declaration that the very existence of certain human beings is unwelcome in the official record. This is not a hallmark of a democratic leader respecting courts and laws; it is the move of someone intent on atrocity."

The evangelical position on this has always been that being trans is not a real thing. I'm not surprised that now that they have power, they want everyone to act like being trans is not a real thing. 

We have to resist. 

3. Data Rescue Project (via) A site summarizing the efforts to archive government data because it's being removed from government sites.

4. “We’ve Been Essentially Muzzled”: Department of Education Halts Thousands of Civil Rights Investigations Under Trump (February 13, via) "Since 1979, the department’s civil rights arm has worked to enforce the nation’s antidiscrimination laws in schools. It operates under a congressional mandate to uphold the Civil Rights Act of 1964 as well as the federal laws that prohibit discriminating against students because of gender or disability."

5. Federal computers are hacked to show fake AI video of Trump kissing Elon Musk’s feet (February 25) "'Building staff couldn’t figure out how to turn it off so sent people to every floor to unplug TVs,' Kabas said, quoting an anonymous agency source."

6. Bad Bosses are not beloved (February 25) "This, again, is part of the definition of a Bad Boss — sneering contempt for whatever it is that you do resulting in interference with your ability to do it."

7. People Are Mass-Emailing Elon Musk In Response To His "What Did You Do Last Week?" Message To Federal Workers (February 25, via) Oh it turns out we can all email Elon at hr@opm.gov and tell him 5 things we did.

8. Jeff Bezos' revamp of 'Washington Post' opinions leads editor to quit (February 26) "'We are going to be writing every day in support and defense of two pillars: personal liberties and free markets,' Bezos wrote in a memo to staffers announcing the changes." What on earth.

Blogaround

1. Mandisa, Grammy-winning singer and 'American Idol' alum, has died at 47 (April 19) Oh my goodness, very shocked to hear this. Here's my favorite song from her:

2. Surprising No One, All 3,878 of Elon Musk’s Cybertrucks Are Being Recalled (April 20) "The brake pedal was still functioning and would override the accelerator if it became stuck. However, lifting one’s foot briefly off the pedal would result in the car instantly rising to dangerous speeds. That was particularly dangerous because the Cybertruck can go from 0 mph to 60 mph in 2.6 seconds." Holy crap.

3. The invisible seafaring industry that keeps the internet afloat (April 16, via) "Fortunately, there is enough redundancy in the world’s cables to make it nearly impossible for a well-connected country to be cut off, but cable breaks do happen. On average, they happen every other day, about 200 times a year. The reason websites continue to load, bank transfers go through, and civilization persists is because of the thousand or so people living aboard 20-some ships stationed around the world, who race to fix each cable as soon as it breaks."

4. Daniel C. Dennett, Widely Read and Fiercely Debated Philosopher, 82, Dies (April 19) 

5. This SMBC comic [via]. "Come to think of it, why are we even having this specific conversation when we're never going to have this exact conversation again later!?"

6. The Cass Review: Hey, What Does UK NHS Trans Report Mean? (April 18) "The Cass Review is a wonky, sciencey, jargony document that gives every appearance of being a Tory project intended to justify cracking down on medical care for trans people in the name of non-trans people who feel icky when forced to think repeatedly for weeks on end about surgeons coming for their genitals — but it nonetheless contains a few good things."

7. NASA’s Voyager 1 Resumes Sending Engineering Updates to Earth (April 22, via) "The team started by singling out the code responsible for packaging the spacecraft’s engineering data. They sent it to its new location in the FDS memory on April 18. A radio signal takes about 22 ½ hours to reach Voyager 1, which is over 15 billion miles (24 billion kilometers) from Earth, and another 22 ½ hours for a signal to come back to Earth."

8. The ‘Progressive Evangelical’ Two-Step (April 23) "So Slaves, Women & Homosexuals starts with slavery because that establishes the possibility that clobber-texts may not be quite so indisputably authoritative after all. And then, as perfectnumber notes, it ends with an abstract discussion of the 'issue of homosexuality' as a way saying yesbutofcourse some such clobber-texts are still authoritative so, fear not, we’re not just saying that anything goes." The Slacktivist responds to my post on the book "Slaves, Women & Homosexuals" and connects it to the history of the organization Christians for Biblical Equality.

9. FTC bans contracts that keep workers from jumping to rival employers (April 23, via) "The Federal Trade Commission on Tuesday banned noncompete agreements for most U.S. workers, a move that will affect an estimated 30 million employees bound by contracts that restrict workers from switching employers within their industry." Wow this sounds like a big deal! When I first read this, I thought, but isn't there an important business reason for non-compete agreements? Surely you can't just ban them- yeah they're a problem for workers, but solving it should be more complicated than that... right? But the article says, "Noncompete agreements have been prohibited in three states — California, North Dakota and Oklahoma — for more than a century. In recent years, 11 states and D.C. have passed laws that prohibit the agreements for hourly wage workers or those who fall below a salary threshold." 

Blogaround

1. THE EMPEROR'S NEW GROOVE and Self Love vs. Narcissism (November 8) "The Emperor's New Groove" is such a good movie!

2. Some good news on climate change (November 18) "The best message, practically speaking, would combine sounding a very loud and continuous alarm with various facts about how real progress is being made on the technological side toward ameliorating the trajectory of climate change, on both a long term and shorter term basis."

3. At SpaceX, worker injuries soar in Elon Musk’s rush to Mars (November 10) [content note: injury and death] "'Elon’s concept that SpaceX is on this mission to go to Mars as fast as possible and save humanity permeates every part of the company,' said Tom Moline, a former SpaceX senior avionics engineer who was among a group of employees fired after raising workplace complaints. 'The company justifies casting aside anything that could stand in the way of accomplishing that goal, including worker safety.'"

4. Has the ‘Double Eleven’ Shopping Festival Lost its Luster? (November 21) In China, "double eleven" (双11, November 11) is a big online shopping day, kinda the same idea as Black Friday or Cyber Monday. But this article says in recent years, the excitement for double eleven deals has kind of worn off.

Also from Sixth Tone: A Food Courier’s Pursuit of Equal Treatment (November 25) "He shares that a large state-owned enterprise that he often visits doesn’t allow couriers inside, nor will it put a table at the entrance for riders to leave takeout deliveries, meaning they need to wait downstairs and hold the food until the customer comes to collect it." 

Yeah, I order food to get delivered almost every day- it's very convenient in China, and I always see tons of delivery drivers on their electric scooters, rushing around to deliver food. From what I've heard, they're under a lot of pressure to deliver the food as fast as possible, or else they get fined- and this means they often rush through red lights and do other unsafe things, to shave off a few seconds. Sounds like a really hard job. At the office building where I work, there's a locker outside the back door of the building, and the delivery drivers put the deliveries in the locker and then you get a notification on the app- this seems to work out well for the drivers because they just stick it in the locker, give you a phone call to let you know, and then they can leave, they don't have to wait for you to come down in the elevator and pick it up.

I've had situations where the driver was at the wrong building, and calling me to ask me how to get to my address, and he asked me if he can mark in the app that the order has been delivered- ie, he marks it as complete so the app doesn't get him in trouble for being late, and then he finds his way to the right address and gives me the food. 

5. Plain white Cru not white enough for Florida evangelicals (November 22) "As a result, those Republican Christians no longer respond to Cru the way that any normal person would. A normal person would be, like, 'Oh, you mean that campus ministry group that’s so fundie they make Young Life seem cool by comparison?'"

6. I Don’t Think That Parable Means What You Think It Means (November 22) "As I encountered these parables growing up in my faith tradition, I was taught that the most powerful person in a given parable—the vineyard owner, the rich man, the king—is supposed to be God. Bolz-Weber addresses this directly: 'Why in the world do we always assume that the ruler, the slave owner, the property owner, the tyrant in the story always represents God?'"

7. In wake of state bans, abortions overall rise, reproductive care falls (October 25) "Where abortion is banned around the world, there is usually more death, not less, on account of maternal mortality rates (MMRs)."

8. Will Anti-abortion Laws Drive Women to Colleges in Blue States? (November 4?) Wow, this is really fascinating to me, because when I was in college/ in high school deciding where to go to college, never in a million years would it have occurred to me "what if I need an abortion? I should go to college in a state with abortion access." I was "pro-life" back then, because everyone I knew seemed to be "pro-life"- I had never even heard any pro-choice arguments, and I hadn't the faintest idea about what kind of reasoning could possibly lead people to be pro-choice. The idea of me having sex was unimaginable to me, the idea of me ever having sex before marriage was unimaginable to me, the idea of being one of those "bad" women who wants to have an abortion was unimaginable to me. I very much did not see it as a "women's issue" that affects everyone with a uterus- I saw it as only something that bad women would ever try to access, and of course we should make laws to stop those bad women, right?

So, really mind-blowing to me to think about high school girls putting serious thought into how these laws affect them. (I mean, also apparently a lot of high school kids are having sex, and I find that hard to fathom too...)

Also from Skepchick: The Hamas Hostage with “Stockholm Syndrome” (November 11?) "Instead of it being an actual psychological phenomenon, it’s just a story the media likes to tell when explaining victim behavior that people might not immediately understand."

9. Ah, in my post about young-earth creationism, I can't believe I forgot to include a link to Joel Duff's blog, Naturalis Historia. (I have now edited the post to include a link.) If you want to know all the specific details about how young-earth creationism can't account for the scientific evidence we find in the fossil record, etc, you definitely want to read his blog.

10. [trigger warning for transmisia] I don't recommend reading this one, but I want to at least mention it here so nobody ever forgets what kind of hateful trash The Gospel Coalition is publishing about trans people. On November 22, they published a post called "I Love My Transgender Child. I Love Jesus More." (archive link) 

I'm not gonna respond to this, I will just say this: God is nonbinary. And Jesus said, "whatever you did for the least of these, you did for me"- if you're mean to trans people, you're being mean to Jesus. (Observant readers may notice that this is THE OPPOSITE of what that article headline says- like you have to choose between loving Jesus and loving your trans child. WTF.) And if you cause a trans child to hate themself, well, Jesus said, "If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea."

And just as God is the Creator, people are made in God's image, and people reflect God's image by creating too. Trans people create their own identity, their own gender expression, and that's an amazing and godly thing.

And if you worship a god who requires you to be cruel to trans people, that's on you. You could worship a different god. You could worship no gods at all. What does it say about you, that you choose to worship that kind of god?

11. China trials visa-free travel for six countries (November 24) The six countries are: France, Germany, Italy, the Netherlands, Spain, and Malaysia- travelers from these countries will be allowed to stay in China for up to 15 days, without a visa. Interesting! I wonder why they're doing this- I'm guessing it's to encourage tourism, to have good relationships with those countries, and because they aren't worried that people from those countries will want to illegally overstay. Anyway, cool, good news if you're from one of those countries.

Blogaround

1. I feel like I should say something about what's going on in Palestine? I don't know what to say though, it's just horrifying, and posting on the internet "I stand with Palestine" doesn't actually help anything... I just wish people would stop bombing people.

2. Idaho hospital closes its maternity ward, citing the state’s ‘political climate’ (March 22)

3. The Trouble With Circular Reasoning Is.... (!) (October 15) 1-hour-21-minute sudoku solve video.

4. China joins Apostille Convention - no legalization for public documents (March 14) Well this will (hopefully) decrease the amount of bureaucracy that immigrants in China (like me) have to deal with. See, the way it is now, if you're applying for a visa or something in China, you have to bring a bunch of documents, and if the documents were issued in other countries, they need to be "legalized" by some Chinese authority to prove they are real. I'm not sure exactly what documents this change will apply to- off the top of my head, I'm thinking about things like diplomas and marriage licenses. (But also, don't get too excited- I would be 0% surprised if China invents some new bureaucracy steps to replace the old ones.) The change goes into effect on November 7, 2023. 

5. Sex and the end of the world (October 16) "The future they’re being told they’re never going to have was already a life of futility and meaninglessness. So when they’re told that future won’t be there for them, they’re not going to think about all the things they’re never going to get to learn or to teach, to create, to build, to share, to discover, or to enjoy. They’re not going to think about how they’ll never get to break every chain, or to let justice roll down like waters. The main thing they’ll think about missing out on will be the main thing they’ve heard about in youth group from day one: sex."

Damn. Preach.

6. Ending Junk Fees, the Most Annoying Thing in American Commerce (October 15, via) "We’ve all experienced these in one form or another. You go to a hotel, and instead of being given the price quoted to you online, they add a $25 'amenity' fee, or 'resort' fee, or something like that." Wow, reading this article, I'm like... astonished at the idea that the government could really stop businesses from charging hidden fees. Like, I always thought that's just the way it is, and as a consumer you need to know that the price it says isn't really the price it is, and be prepared for that. But, man, no, it DOESN'T have to be that way.

I remember the first time I came to China, buying things at a mall or restaurant, and the price that it said on the price tag was the price it ACTUALLY WAS, and that BLEW MY MIND. No extra is charged for tax or tip- that's all already included in the price on the price tag. And now that I think about it, even for bigger things in China (hotel rooms, etc), the price that it says is, quite often, LITERALLY the price that IT IS, even though I've always been prepared to pay more because that's what I expect as an American.

7. Solving Fractal Mazes (October 18) "With all that explanation, I hope you’re half as excited about fractal mazes as I am." Yesssss.

8. Making It So: A Memoir [affiliate link] I just found out that Patrick Stewart has published a memoir. Oh I am so excited about this!

9. Trump Gets the Corporate Death Penalty (And It's Getting Worse) (October 7) 22-minute video from Legal Eagle, explaining what's going on with the orange antichrist's businesses in the state of New York. Basically the court ruled that he loses all of his business licenses in New York. Wow. As one of the comments says, "You know it's bad when the lawyers stop saying allegedly."

10. Biden urges striking auto workers to ‘stick with it’ in picket line visit unparalleled in history (September 27) "The fact of the matter is that you guys, the UAW, you saved the automobile industry back in 2008 ... you made a lot of sacrifices. You gave up a lot. And the companies were in trouble. Now they’re doing incredibly well and guess what? You should be doing incredibly well."

11. Once Upon a Studio | Official Trailer | Disney+ (September 22) There's a new short film to celebrate Disney's 100th anniversary, and it's SO GOOD. It's cartoon characters from almost all of their movies, coming together to take a photo. The link I'm posting here is just a short trailer- I didn't find the entire video available on youtube. (I watched it on bilibili, a Chinese video site.)

Blogaround

1. The kingdom of heaven is like: “We Keep People Alive”: As Summers Get Deadlier, a Tiny Church Is Fighting Back (September 21, via) "On June 1, they set up a 'Cooling Center' sandwich board sign out front on Southern Avenue, and soon, 15 to 25 unsheltered, exhausted, and often addicted visitors were showing up each day, frequently with dogs."

2. Genetically Modified Pig’s Heart Is Transplanted Into a Second Patient (September 22) "The heart transplanted into Mr. Faucette came from a pig that had received 10 genetic modifications. Scientists removed three pig genes that cause rapid rejection of pig organs by the human immune system, while inserting six human genes that allow the immune system to accept the organ."

3. Penguins, Postcards & Preservation: Antarctica's Hidden Postal Gem! (September 25, via) The southernmost post office in the world, surrounded by penguins.

4. An Attempt At One Of The All Time Greats (September 27) 1-hour-22-minute meidjuluk/fillomino solve video. If you don't know what that is, don't worry, Simon will explain it.

5. Texas’ ban on certain drag shows is unconstitutional, federal judge says (September 26, via) "'The Court sees no way to read the provisions of SB 12 without concluding that a large amount of constitutionally-protected conduct can and will be wrapped up in the enforcement of SB 12,' the ruling reads. 'It is not unreasonable to read SB 12 and conclude that activities such as cheerleading, dancing, live theater, and other common public occurrences could possibly become a civil or criminal violation.'"

6. MEGAMIND and Nice Guy™ Syndrome (2022) 34-minute video from Cinema Therapy. I love the movie "Megamind" so much.

And also this one: Villain Therapy: LOKI (2021)

7. The Hollywood Writers Strike Proved That Collective Action Works (September 27, via) "They thought the general public wouldn’t support the writers. They were wrong. They thought they could starve the writers out. Once again, they were wrong."

8. What’s the worst job? (September 22) "Human beings are not adapted to microgravity and high radiation. We’ve got enough data now on the consequences of long-term living in space (where long-term is a matter of months — no one is going to be able to live their lives in space)."

9. I hate this article from "Christianity Today": Shannon Harris Wasn’t Content with Being a Purity Culture Stagehand (September 28) It's a review of Shannon Harris (ex-wife of Joshua Harris)'s new book, "The Woman They Wanted," which is about how she was required to give up her own dreams in order to fit the church's idea of what a good pastor's wife is supposed to be. The review starts out well, talking about how it was wrong that the church forced Harris to fit this role. 

But then it starts getting into how Harris has now come to an incorrect view of Christianity. When I say "incorrect," I mean incorrect by Christianity Today's standards. Like, oh now Shannon Harris is advising people to connect "to our own wisdom, to nature and our bodies, to our own fulfillment in work and pleasure, and to our own ways of being and doing." This is, apparently, according to Christianity Today, wrong.

So... basically, what Christianity Today wants to say is, it was wrong that the church forced Harris into a very narrow view of how she was supposed to live. It was wrong not because it was narrow, but because it wasn't the right narrow view. Instead, she is supposed to believe whatever narrow view Christianity Today has about what "the gospel" means.

Ugh, why can't you just let people live their lives? Why can't you just let people tell their own stories, and find meaning in the things that feel meaningful to them? 

Why is it that good Christians can only support survivors up to a certain point- yes, we can listen to them talk about the bad things that happened to them, yes we can agree that those things were wrong, but then when the survivor starts to talk about how their beliefs have changed as a result, oh no, stop, we have to write articles to warn people away from listening to this heresy! Come on.

It's like I said in my post When Christians Say "We're Sorry":

If Christians really are sorry, they know that people need to heal on their own terms.

But of course, like I said earlier, believing in hell screws this all up. Because how sorry can you really be, and how much freedom can you really allow a victim to have, when you believe in a God who won't care about that on judgment day? When you believe in a God who doesn't care that church people hurt this person, and for their own mental and emotional health, they never went to church again... when you believe in a God who says you're out if you don't believe these specific doctrines about Jesus- no excuses.

How sorry can you really be when you worship a God who puts "the gospel" above caring for victims?

How sorry can you really be if you still believe you have all the right answers and everybody better listen to you?

Anyway, I'm definitely interested in reading Shannon Harris's book.