Blogaround

1. My 2023 Reader Survey will be open until June 19. Please go take the survey- it's useful for me to know what kind of topics readers want to read about.

2. Died: Tim Keller, New York City Pastor Who Modeled Winsome Witness (May 19)

3. IKEA's New Ad Claims they Are 'Proudly Second Best' and It's a Stroke of Genius (May 14) I love this. Yes, I'm a mom and I can confirm, the baby doesn't want to sleep in the expensive state-of-the-art baby bed that you bought for them. The baby wants to sleep on Mommy.

4. Women Are Never Going to Cover Themselves Enough to Get Men to Shut Up About Us (May 12) "As The Rules become longer and more consuming, being on the wrong side of them becomes more and more eroticized. Today it's nursing moms, but tomorrow it'll be women holding babies, because babies make men think about nursing and nursing makes them think about breasts (if you think I'm exaggerating, remind me to tell you the story of the time I was reprimanded for hanging a swimsuit to dry where boys could see it at church camp). The rules create the fetish, not the other way around."

5. "Hey, stop!" Taylor Swift defends Baltimore woman during Philadelphia concert (May 15) "Taylor Swift might have bad blood with one particular security guard in Philadelphia. In a viral moment, the star defended a concertgoer during the middle of her set while performing her 2014 hit 'Bad Blood.'"

6. Israelite Divination and the Mysterious Teraphim (May 4, via [along with links 7 and 8]) "The story of Michal helping David evade Saul’s guards by putting a teraphim in his bed, dressing it up to look like him, and then telling the guards David is sick (found in 1 Samuel 19:11-16) while David escapes out the window does little to inform us of the teraphim’s purpose. It simply suggests that teraphim could be nearly life-sized, and that it was not unusual for a household to have one around."

7. Why the Carroll verdict might matter (May 15) "And yet, there was never a come-to-Jesus moment when conservatives repented their previous views and pledged to go a different way. Instead, a conservative sea change happens like this: People who used to be zealots for a particular view go silent for a while. And when they start talking again, they have the opposite view, which they put forward as if they had always believed it."

8. Florida bill would require patients to share their immigration status (April 28) Wow not cool. Aren't these lawmakers worried about going to hell? 

9. The Sudoku With Only 4 Known Solvers (December 20, 2022) "Oh you're jocking my straps, that is absolutely- I've got digits, I've got 2 digits. ... That... That... I've actually got tears in my eyes. That is un... That is unbelievable setting." (1-hour-25-minute sudoku solve video)

10. Beijing LGBT Center shuttered as crackdown grows in China (May 16) Sad news. I've seen people talking about this in WeChat groups- where it's a bad idea to say things about the Chinese government- and based on what they *weren't* saying, I assumed it had something to do with the Chinese government's dislike of queer organizations. This article from AP News comes right out and says it directly.

A similar thing happened to ShanghaiPRIDE a few years ago. The people involved with ShanghaiPRIDE are still around, organizing queer events, but are no longer doing it as part of one big organization, because that attracts the wrong kind of attention.

11. 5 Questions to Ask Before You Talk to a Woman About What She's Wearing (May 15) "She cannot do anything about being well-endowed. The issue can never, ever be about how her body is affecting the men around her; that’s on them." Wow, really amazed at this post about dress codes- the idea presented here is that it has to be about clothes, not about a woman's body. It has to be a standard about what clothes are okay to wear, and it has to be universally applied. 

This is completely different from modesty ideology, which says that if a skinny girl wears a modest outfit, that's fine, but if a girl with big breasts and curves wears the exact same outfit, that's not okay, that's not "modest"- and yes, it is ALL ABOUT her body type, modesty culture doesn't even try to hide that. The result of this modesty ideology is that for some girls/women, there's really no possible outfit they can wear that will satisfy the modesty police. And this intersects with race- women of color are seen as more "sexual", so even if they wear the same "modest" thing that a skinny white woman is wearing, they might still get labelled as "immodest" and sinning against the boys. NOT COOL.

Cut Out the Middleman (or, why I am the master and commander of my own life)

Tweet from Timothy Keller (@timkellernyc) from 6/12/18. "You are under qualified for the job of master and commander of your own life."

All right we have to talk about this tweet from Tim Keller. "You are under qualified for the job of master and commander of your own life."

He's saying people shouldn't run their own lives. We shouldn't be in charge- we should let God run our lives instead. We can't do it on our own; we're "under qualified" because we're weak and sinful.

You guys, I really used to believe this. Really, literally. I believed I wasn't able to make my own decisions. Every major life decision needed to be prayed over and I needed to figure out what "God" wanted me to do, because if I decided on my own that would just lead to disaster.

And it wasn't just about major life decisions. Every day I worked on my evangelism, trying to "show God's love" to people and get them "saved." I believed God was constantly active in my "unsaved" friends' lives. God had a plan for them and I wanted so much to be a part of it. I believed God had certain things in mind I could do to help them "get saved."

I worked so hard to try to "listen to God" and do what he (he!) wanted. And it was so hard to figure out! Sometimes I wished that God would just physically take control of me and have me do the actions or say the words, because that's the only way I would be able to do exactly the right thing that God wanted me to do. I imagined there was some perfect ideal set of actions I was supposed to take, that only God knew, and I was the weak link in the chain. I wasn't able to "listen to God" good enough to figure out what *exactly* I was supposed to do. If only God could have just cut out the middleman! If only God could just possess me and control my body to follow his plan perfectly. Wouldn't that make so much more sense? Why did God even give me the ability to control my own actions? I wished he hadn't. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it perfectly like he wanted.

Keller's tweet showcases the anti-self ideology that forms the backbone of the Christianity I used to believe. It defines the entire thing, and I got the receipts right here. I was taught that Adam and Eve's sin was that they wanted to control their own lives, rather than let God be in control. I was taught that people are weak and worthless and can't do anything right without God. I was taught that you're either a slave to sin or a slave to God- in other words, if you don't have a "personal relationship with Jesus" then you're controlled by your sin and can't choose to do what's right. I was taught to be suspicious of my own emotional needs and my own body's desires- whether it was for acceptance, friendship, safety, food, sleep, free time, my attraction to people- those things might just be my sinful nature trying to tempt me. I needed to "die to self" and obey God instead.

Here's the problem, though: If I'm not the "master and commander of [my] own life" then who is? Well, of course the answer would be God. But which god? See, I would have to pick which version of god to submit to. I pick. It will never not be my choice.

When I was little, Christians taught me all about what God wants us to do. They told me what God's position was on various issues- as if God's rules were obvious and the only question is do we obey or not. But then I found the internet and read things from outside the evangelical bubble. I found out there are other ways to do Christianity. Instead of "God says X, do I obey or not?" it was actually "these Christians say God says X, but these other Christians say God says Y instead, which one do I believe?" And that is a choice I have to make for myself. The idea of giving control of that decision over to God is completely unintelligible. It's logically impossible to let God decide what "letting God decide" means.

And at this point, I believe in a God, but I don't give them control of my life. I control my own life. Because I used to be in a personal relationship with a god, and that relationship steamrolled my own individuality and my own freedom, and I still feel the trauma from that. Because if it's actually me picking which god to follow, then doing what that god tells me to do, why not just cut out the middleman and do what I think is right in the first place?

And all Christians are picking which version of God they follow. Or, if they thought there was only 1 version available, that means they're letting their Christian role models pick for them. So let's be done with this crap about "you shouldn't control your own life." You are important, your needs and desires matter, and you are the best qualified for the job of managing your own life. Don't submit to any god who says otherwise.

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Related:
The One Thing You Can't Surrender To Jesus

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You asked and I answered~ In my 2018 Reader Survey, one of the top 5 topics you voted for was "evangelical Christianity." Hence this post. :)

Dr. Strange's Ways Are Higher Than Our Ways

Dr. Strange. Image source.

[content note: spoilers for “Avengers: Infinity War”]

Ever since the movie “Avengers: Infinity War” came out, fans all over the internet have been asking questions and making theories about it. Much has been made of the fact that Dr. Strange saw millions of hypothetical futures. For example, I saw a video addressing the fact that we are all mad at Peter Quill (Star-Lord) because of that scene where Mantis has Thanos in a trance, everybody is trying to pull the infinity gauntlet off him, and Star-Lord realizes that Thanos killed Gamora, so he starts punching Thanos in the face, breaking him out of the trance and ruining everything. This video said that actually, it’s okay, we shouldn’t be mad at Star-Lord. Because Dr. Strange already knew this would happen, and he didn’t intervene and stop Star-Lord. So actually this is how it’s supposed to be. It’s all okay.

And besides that example, I’ve seen a lot of people asking questions about “why didn’t Dr. Strange do THIS” and “why didn’t Dr. Strange do THAT” and the answer is always “he saw all the hypothetical futures resulting from those actions and they weren’t good.” Whatever Dr. Strange chooses to do, we can’t question it, because he knows things we don’t.

And I say, well that’s AWFULLY CONVENIENT.

In the type of Christianity I used to believe, God always “had a plan.” If something bad happened, we trusted that “God is in control” and that it was all part of the plan. Even if it seemed bad, we had faith that God would “use it for good.” Everything is okay.

God has seen all the possible hypothetical futures. God is all-powerful and involved in every tiny detail of your life, making sure everything goes according to plan. So it’s not possible that anything truly bad could ever happen. Just keep waiting and believing- you’ll see that actually it was a good thing.

There’s no way to disprove this line of thinking. If everything seems bad and you think God can’t possibly have really planned for things to happen this way, well, you’re wrong. God knows things you don’t know. He won’t say a word, he won’t give any explanation- you just have to trust him.

Yes, very convenient.

I saw this theology on display in a tweet from Tim Keller recently:

God always answers your prayers in precisely the way you want them to be answered if you knew everything he knew. Prayer. https://t.co/fmpWsIE9qx pic.twitter.com/GBidAMcvUc

— Timothy Keller (@timkellernyc) 2018年3月16日

[Tweet from @timkellernyc from 3/16/18 that says "God always answers your prayers in precisely the way you want them to be answered if you knew everything he knew. Prayer."]

Yes, no matter what happens, Tim Keller is SURE that we would all agree that the reality we live in is the ideal version of reality, if only we knew what God knows. If something terrible happens, Tim Keller trusts that it's not actually terrible- in some mysterious way that only God can understand, it's part of God's good plan. If it doesn’t seem like that’s true, well, we just have to trust God. His ways are higher than ours. Reality is the best reality there could be, the problem is just that our minds are too small to *get* that.

Yeah, I’m not a fan.

It’s too easy. Too convenient. This line of thinking can be used to excuse any kind of atrocity. It tells us that we can’t trust our own senses and our own emotions. It’s heartless and callous towards people who are suffering.

So here’s the deal, Dr. Strange. I will give you a chance to prove yourself. I will give you time- one more movie. “Avengers 4” will tell us whether we were right to put our faith in Stephen Strange.

And that’s it. That’s all. One movie. No more chances after that. If we don’t see any evidence in “Avengers 4” that justifies Dr. Strange’s actions in “Infinity War,” then I will tear him apart on the internet. I’m not going to have any tolerance for “just keep waiting for the next movie- surely he really does have a plan!” or “must be that in some mysterious way, it’s actually NOT bad that character XYZ died- after all, Dr. Strange could have prevented it and he chose not to- there must be a reason.” No. None of that. No more faith after that.

… but I’m not actually talking about Marvel.

I don’t actually think we’re going to come out of “Avengers 4” with no evidence to justify what Dr. Strange did. I don’t actually think that fans will be told they’re wrong to criticize Strange because “just keep waiting, he has a plan.” I’m not talking about Marvel, I’m talking about the God I used to believe in. I don’t expect I will actually “tear [Dr. Strange] apart on the internet.” But… well, you know why I write this blog.

For now, I trust Dr. Strange. I’m willing to give him a chance to prove himself. But if he doesn’t prove himself in the next movie, then that’s it. I’m not going to stand for any crap about how I just can’t comprehend his grand plan. He doesn’t get infinite chances. And neither does Jesus.

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Related:
Thanos Tested
It Was Beautiful When Star-Lord Rejected the Gospel

And this post from Samantha Field is extremely good:
for Thanos loved the world