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| Book cover for "The Case for Loving" |
I got this book for my kids: The Case for Loving: The Fight for Interracial Marriage by Selina Alko. It is a picture book which tells the story of the US Supreme Court case Loving vs Virginia, which legalized interracial marriage.
I'm really into this because I'm white and my husband is Chinese. We got legally married in China so I guess the specifics of US marriage law didn't directly affect us- but still, this is important history that is relevant to my life and my kids' lives, and I want to teach them about it.
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Turns out I really didn't know much about the Loving vs Virginia case
So, in history class in high school, I learned that Loving vs Virginia was the big important Supreme Court case where interracial marriage was officially legalized. But as I read this book to my son, I realized I didn't know any of these other details. I didn't really know anything about it at all.
Some fun facts which I learned from this book:
- Richard Loving and Mildred Jeter lived in Virginia, where they could not get legally married- but interracial marriage *was* legal in Washington DC, so they went there to get legally married. I did not know that different states had different laws about this.
- After they returned to Virginia, they were caught "cohabitating" and put in jail. They ended up moving back to Washington DC because of this. I did not know people were really getting put in jail for this back then.
- Richard Loving's statement that his lawyers read to the Supreme Court: "Tell the Court I love my wife, and it is just unfair that I can't live with her in Virginia." Love this.
But I guess the biggest thing I learned from this book is that the arguments for banning interracial marriage were about "preserving the purity of the white race." I don't remember learning in high school that that was the reasoning behind these laws. In high school, when we learned about the Civil Rights Movement, I kind of got the impression that the reason white people didn't want black people to have equal rights was just some vague "racism" and not liking black people. Just ... as if white people back then were just mean for no reason, and I can't relate to them at all, and they were so obviously wrong. I think we do a big disservice when we portray history in this way, as if we don't have any of those problems now. In reality, white people who opposed the Civil Rights Movement weren't one-dimensional caricatures saying "let's be mean to black people for no reason." No, they made arguments that many people back then felt were convincing- for example, this argument about "preserving the purity of the white race."
And there are right-wing people *now* saying things like "we have to preserve the purity of the white race." People talking about the "great replacement" conspiracy theory, talking about immigrants with "bad genes" coming into the US, etc. Banning abortion, to force white women to have more babies. We need to realize that the racism of the white people who opposed the Civil Rights Movement 60 years ago isn't really that different from racism we have today. We need to learn from this history, so we don't buy into the same racist arguments that they did 60 years ago.
(Okay, and one more cool thing about the book, on the last page it has a photo of the Loving family, which allowed me to tell my son "this is a true story from history.")
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I guess I talked to my son about race
So recently after I read this book to my son, we had this conversation:
me: I like this book because me and your dad are different races.
him: Why are you different races?
me: I'm white and your dad is Chinese. ... Did you notice that?
him: Yes
Oh good, he noticed that.
I always thought it was weird that parents feel awkward about talking to their kids about race, but now I get why it feels awkward: Because on one level, it's so obvious, everyone can see that I'm white and my husband is Chinese. But on another level, people's ideas about what it *means*, and the history of atrocities committed because of race- all of that is very complicated, how do you even begin to talk to kids about that? I think having books like this helps a lot, because you don't have to figure out what to say, you can just read the book.
But yeah, my son is living his life as a mixed-race person and I want him to be able to talk about it. I've noticed that when he's with me, and we're out and about in Shanghai, Chinese people always ask him, "Do you speak Chinese?" But when he's with my husband and I'm not there, they don't ask that, they just go ahead and talk to him in Chinese.
Oh, and also, the book mentioned slavery, and my son already knows what that is because he watches this Chinese cartoon from the 90's called 海尔兄弟 (Haier Brothers), which was sponsored by a real-life refrigerator company in China, it's about these 2 boys (who are the actual mascots of this fridge company) and they are brothers, but one of them is Chinese and the other one is German, and actually they are androids and not people, also they only wear underwear, and they travel around with 3 humans (who wear normal clothes)- an old man, a boy, and a girl, and the old man is not actually anyone's grandfather, I have no idea how he's related to any of the other characters, and they are all time travelers who travel to different places and times, to teach kids about science and history. This cartoon goes so hard, there are episodes about Africans being kidnapped and put on ships and sold into slavery. My husband has a lot of nostalgic feelings about this cartoon so that's why he wants our son to watch it. I don't quite get it and I wonder if the entire thing is an ad for a refrigerator somehow. It probably sounds bonkers from my description here, but it is a real thing, here is the theme song, enjoy.
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Conclusion
This is a good book for kids in an interracial family. Also good if you want your kids to learn more about US history and the Civil Rights Movement.
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Related
Raising Mixed Race (a book for parents of mixed-race Asian kids)
"I Want a Popsicle" (a bilingual book for Asian children, about feelings)
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