Image source. |
I read this psalm over and over this week, trying to understand, trying to feel what I used to feel.
I want to believe it, I so much want to believe it. Finding rest in God.
But how? It's not real, it's just a cliche.
"Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge."
And he used to be my refuge. I used to read this psalm over and over and it was my prayer. It was real- I really did tell my soul to find rest in God. And I loved this psalm and the comfort it brought.
And now I don't even know what it means. Finding rest in God? God is my refuge? It's just some spiritual metaphor. It doesn't really mean anything in a practical sense. Because how can God be a "refuge" if he doesn't protect us from bad things? How can it be a good idea to "rest" in God if he doesn't actually make a difference?
"... he is my fortress, I will never be shaken."
I wish it were true.
I read this psalm and I love it, I really do love it, as I remember how it used to give me so much encouragement. The words, the poetry, the deep trust in God... but is it just poetry? How can I really believe this? How can I take this psalm seriously?
"Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him."
I want rest and I want God. And maybe this is silly, but... am I allowed to pray a prayer I don't even believe?
Maybe... maybe I will.
-------------------
This post is part of a link-up on the topic of Psalm 62. To read other people's posts, click here: Hitting Rock.
I love your honesty. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. If you want, you can check out my blog here: http://writingsblogg.blogspot.com/2013/07/sick-of-cliche.html
ReplyDelete