Friday, January 28, 2022

"Jurassic World" Exhibition (Shanghai, China)

A "Jurassic World" exhibition recently opened here in Shanghai. I went to see it, and OH MY GOODNESS IT WAS INCREDIBLE. Wow. Like, amazing. It was so awesome.

It's robot dinosaurs. So of course I loved it, because I am a dinosaur nerd and I work in robotics. It was AMAZING, oh my goodness it was AMAZING.

(Oh this is great, I just did some googling and found that Smart Shanghai reviewed the "Jurassic World" exhibition. I love the tone of their article, totally agree.)

My photos:

Sign in the parting lot. 侏罗纪世界 (Jurassic World)

Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Straight Aces

A man and woman holding hands. Image source.

Being a straight asexual (straight ace) is ... interesting. In this post I want to talk about the unique challenges that straight aces face. The asexual community is diverse- there are gay aces, bi aces, aro aces, trans aces, cis aces, and so on, and each group has its own needs. I can't speak for the other groups within the asexual community; this post is just about my own experiences and observations as a cis straight ace.

Here are 3 difficulties that straight asexuals may have to deal with:

1. Finding out asexuality is a thing

Straight aces are less likely than lesbian/gay/bi/pan aces to even have access to information about asexuality. If you're already in the queer community because of what gender(s) you're attracted to, then it's likely that you will hear about asexuality because it's also a queer identity. But for straight people... if they haven't really dedicated themselves to learning more about queerness in order to be a good ally, then would they even hear about asexuality at all?

Knowing asexuality exists, and coming out to yourself- that's the first step, and that can be a hard step for straight aces.

2. Being straight in queer spaces

I don't know of any meetup groups specifically for asexuals where I live, but fortunately there are some queer groups that I enjoy being part of here. But I always feel like, am I taking up too much space as a straight person here? I talk about my life, I'm married, I have a husband, I have a son- is that something I shouldn't talk about too much in queer spaces?

Nobody has ever said anything negative to me about it, but I still worry. And I am sure that a lot of people who attend these queer groups don't realize that it's possible to be both straight and queer. It takes a certain amount of confidence to just be honest and not hide my straightness and not let it bother me if some people have misconceptions about it. (Also depends on the culture of the group itself- it helps that the group leaders have explicitly said that asexuals are queer.)

I feel like, if it was a group just for asexuals, then being straight and asexual is totally not an issue at all- like, nobody would think that was unusual. But if it's a group of people from various queer identities, some of them are going to wonder what is up with the straight person.

3. You can fit into all society's expectations about gender and relationships- except the sex part- and that makes it so difficult to figure out what's "wrong"

Some aces don't figure it out until they're already married and have been having sex for years. 

Some aces- like me- come from a conservative religious background, and are taught "of course you won't have sex before marriage, and then when you're married, you HAVE TO have sex with your husband. Women don't like sex, but TOO BAD, you have to." And I think it can be too easy and tragic for straight women aces to buy right into that, to think this is just the way it is, women just don't like sex, but you have to have sex with your husband.

Or, I have heard a lot of aces talk about how as teenagers, they couldn't figure out why everyone seemed so interested in sex. Was everyone just pretending to be interested in sex because of peer pressure? And they end up having sex they don't want, because they don't realize that the reason other people are having sex is THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX... Pro tip: If you don't understand why people would want to have sex, that's a sign that having sex is not the right thing for you. I would say, don't worry that you're missing out on some amazing experience and feel like you should try it anyway... if you're really worried about that, then try masturbating, and then think about if you would like to do that same sort of thing but with another person. If it still doesn't make any sense, then yeah, not having sex is the right choice for you.

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In my unscientific opinion, I would guess that the majority of asexuals and people who would benefit from IDing as asexual if they knew what it was, are straight and cis. Simply because the majority of people in general are straight and cis. (Though no, I don't believe the proportions are exactly the same- the asexual tendency to question and analyze everything probably leads to more aces IDing as not straight and not cis than in the general population...) 

I worry about the straight aces, because our straightness makes us blend in "too well", makes us very nearly "not queer enough" to have access to extremely necessary information about asexuality.

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Related:

Finding My (Asexual, Straight, Married) Place in the Queer Community

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This post is part of the January 2022 Carnival of Aces. The topic is "Divergence and Convergence."

Sunday, January 23, 2022

Blogaround

Scientific diagram showing a black fetus. (from link #2)
1. Prayer and healing: A medical and scientific perspective on randomized controlled trials (2009) Wow this is AMAZING. It's a scientific paper which summarizes the results of several studies of prayer's effectiveness to treat medical problems. And at the end, it asks a whole bunch of VERY GOOD questions that nobody ever asks in church, but would be real questions that matter, if it is true that prayer "works."

If I had to pick a favorite, I would say: "As atheists, in general, form a minority in most populations, in any randomized controlled trial of intercessory prayer, there is likely to be a number of persons (friends, relatives and the patients themselves) praying for members of both experimental and control groups, unknown to the researchers. If prayer works, this unmeasured source of healing could diminish intergroup differences in outcomes."

2. The creator of the viral Black fetus image will have his illustrations published in a book (posted January 13) "A 2014 study by researchers at the University of Wollongong in Australia examined gender bias in anatomy textbooks and found that of more than 6,000 images with an identifiable sex published between 2008 and 2013 in 17 textbooks, the vast majority were White and just over a third were female."

3. The United States could lose all flights to China ahead of the Beijing Winter Olympics (posted January 14) Yep.

4. Consummation Laws and You (posted 2021) "You don’t have to live in fear of the Marriage Police stopping you on the street to make sure you had sex at least one (1) time." This is an asexual blogger writing in response to asexuals making the claim that marriage consummation laws are harmful to asexuals. Basically, no, it is NOT true that consummation laws mean the legal system will say an asexual's marriage is invalid, please stop worrying about this.

5. The Case of the Heternormative Healthcare (posted 2020) "But even after they’ve added notes about queerness to my chart, they don’t ask questions: No one asks if I use protection or mentions gloves or dental dams or asks if I engage primarily in oral, finger-fucking, strap-ons, or other sex toys." 

Wow, man... I am straight and asexual and I have had similar experiences with gynecologists. Before I figured out I was asexual, there were several doctors I asked for help- I told them "sex is painful" and they didn't ask me for any more information. (Except one, who asked "is the pain on the outside or deep inside?" which assumes I am familiar enough with my own genitals to know specifically where the pain is, which, I was not, I was a very pure girl who followed the rules and made sure never to investigate my own genitals...)

I guess doctors are too squeamish to talk about sex? Like, it turns out I had vaginismus, I had it pretty bad, and no doctor ever noticed? 

Really glad I found the asexual community though, which encouraged me to know myself, know my own desires, know my own body, be honest with myself about what I want or don't want, and set my own goals about what kind of sex life I want (if any). That wherever I am now is fine, that it is fine and normal to be confused about sex, it is fine if sex "doesn't work." IDing as asexual helped me with my sex problems far more than any gynecologist ever did.

6. S.H.E [ Super Star ] Official MV (posted 2011) Okay not sure if any of my readers will be interested this, since it's at this weird intersection of "ex-evangelical" and "Chinese as a second language"- but every time I hear this Chinese pop song, it makes me think of worship. I've said before that I'll never worship again, but if I was going to worship a god, maybe I would use this song to do it.

7. Da Vinci Code: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (Web Exclusive) (posted January 10) [NSFW language] "I just genuinely think that it is very weird that in 2003, this stupid, stupid book took the planet by storm, and I just think that enough time has passed that we can talk about it now."

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Donating to Charity

A jar of coins labelled "Charity." Image source.

Hi everyone, the holiday season is over and it's a new year, so I thought now would be a good time to think about my budget and things, and how much money I'm giving to charity. I want to write about it because this is a good thing to do, and if you're financially able, you should donate money to other people who need it.

Here's basically what I do: I think about what societal issues are important to me, and find a charity that is doing effective work in those areas, and set up a recurring donation for $10/month. Do this for a bunch of charities in different areas. My hope is that every year when I kind of look at my income and how much I can afford to give, I'll be able to add more charities to my list.

I think recurring donations are a super good idea! Sometimes life is busy, and I like how my responsibility to donate money to help society will keep reliably happening even if I don't have time to think about it.

Sooooooooo, yeah that's it. Not a very long or exciting blog post, but it's a good thing to do, if you're in a financial situation where $10/month is no big deal. Set up the recurring donation so it happens automatically.

Saturday, January 15, 2022

Wow, the Anti-China Bias in Western News Media

In Xi'an, China, people wait in line to be covid-tested. Image source.

Throughout the whole pandemic, I have been shocked by the anti-China bias I keep seeing in news articles from western media. A lot of articles criticizing China's "zero covid" strategy, talking about it like it's just absurd, when in reality it has saved hundreds of thousands of lives. A lot of articles talking about covid outbreaks in China- I see that the articles report the correct numbers (any small number of cases in a city of millions counts as an "outbreak" in China- so we have outbreaks of like 3 or 10 or whatever) but the tone these articles use makes it sound like the situation is just as bad as in the US.

It's made me political in ways I never was before. Yeah, I've lived in China for 8 years, yeah, I'm American and I was always taught that the Chinese government was evil... I moved to China and found the reality is it's mostly a huge bureaucracy, but beyond that, I hadn't really formed much of an opinion about the Chinese government. Until now. Like wow, China has successfully controlled the pandemic, and all CNN wants to talk about is how "harsh" our lockdowns are or whatever.

(I mention CNN specifically just because that's the site I usually read. Seems that other western media also has the same kind of bias though.)

CNN always reads [to me] like "you guys, get a load of this, China is trying to not let ANYONE get covid. How weird! What a harsh dictatorship! Everyone hates it, surely China will soon get with the program and stop this 'zero covid' silliness." Some links: here, here, here, and here. The facts are right, but the overall tone is so biased against China. Instead, they should be pointing out, "you guys, when China says 'outbreak', like, 1 covid case counts as an 'outbreak'. This is not like in the US. This is completely different from the pandemic in the US." But the articles use language like "scrambling to contain"- which is true, China is "scrambling to contain" covid outbreaks- but to readers in western countries, that makes it sound like things are just as out-of-control here in China as they are elsewhere. China is "scrambling to contain" because China takes any 1 single covid case seriously, because China understands what exponential growth means and how it would lead to hundreds of thousands of deaths. And because China is "scrambling to contain", we have NOT had exponential growth, or hundreds of thousands of deaths.

Anyway, here's a recent example. The same story, reported by CNN and by Sixth Tone, a Chinese media group:

CNN: Xi'an lockdown brings heartbreak and dysfunction as political pressure to contain outbreak grows

Sixth Tone: After Tragedies, Xi’an Promises Better Health Care Amid Lockdown

(A little bit of background about Sixth Tone: It's a Chinese media group that writes articles in English from a feminist perspective- and that's why I like reading their articles. They don't really do the same style of "breaking news" that CNN does, it's more like, in-depth investigations of how minority groups are affected by society-wide trends, that sort of thing. Wikipedia tells us that Sixth Tone is owned by Shanghai United Media Group, which is owned by the Chinese Communist Party- but this is very much NOT an "everything the government does is awesome" propaganda machine or anything like that. They publish articles about how the legal system in China fails to protect women's rights in cases of divorce or domestic violence, how parents are unable to buy medicine for their kid who has a rare disease that China doesn't care enough to approve treatments for, even though other countries have treatments, also a lot of articles about queer people and the challenges they face in China... Yeah, many articles critical of "the system" and its real-world effects on people's lives.)

Both CNN and Sixth Tone reported about this: In Xi'an, which is currently under lockdown because it has the biggest COVID-19 outbreak that China has had since the initial Wuhan outbreak in early 2020, there have been people who needed emergency medical treatment but were not allowed to enter the hospital because of the pandemic rules. (ie, they didn't have a negative covid test, or didn't have the right health code on their phone.) There was a man who had a heart attack, and later died because he couldn't get treatment, and a pregnant woman who had a miscarriage (Sixth Tone mentions this happened to 2 pregnant women in Xi'an).

It's fascinating to me to see the same story reported by 2 different sources, and how it's spun so different. CNN reads like "this shows that 'zero covid' is BAD, everyone hates it, China should stop." Sixth Tone reads like "nobody is questioning the 'zero covid' strategy. But we all agree that Xi'an is doing a terrible job of it."

[And here's another little complication to throw in: When I first read that article on CNN, I thought, "I am not gonna see this reported in Chinese news, I'm sure they'll censor it." Then later I saw it reported by Sixth Tone and I thought, "Oh, interesting, I guess since it already went viral on Weibo, they are not trying to censor it." Yeah, we know news get censored here. We know we don't truly have free speech- though with social media, sometimes something goes viral before the Powers That Be have a chance to silence it...]

Both articles report that the people responsible (at the hospitals and/or in the Xi'an government) have lost their jobs. And I have also seen articles in Chinese news media about other cities where local officials have lost their jobs for failing to control the pandemic. So a lot of it comes down to how the local government of each city sets rules to carry out the "zero covid" policy. A lot of pressure on the local government, and blame if they screw it up.

It leads to lots of rules, which may or may not make sense, and low-level security guards are tasked with enforcing the rules. And, I suspect, these security guards know the rules don't always make sense, but if, somehow, the security guard fails to check everyone's health code and then a covid-positive person somehow enters the location, the security guard will be blamed for it. What incentive do they have for saying "the rule doesn't make sense, I will let you in anyway"?

An example that happened to me: A few months ago, my son had a cough and fever, and we took him to the fever clinic section of a hospital. (In China, because of the pandemic, fever patients are not allowed to go to just any hospital, they can only go to a designated fever clinic.) The doctor said my son would have to use a nebulizer to inhale medicine for his lungs, twice a day. The doctor asked us, "Do you live near here? If there's another hospital closer to where you live, you can do the nebulizer there, no need to come all the way here." 

So that night, we went to a different hospital with a fever clinic, closer to our home. When we got there, of course the first thing the security guard asked was "has he had a fever in the past 48 hours?" (48? Maybe 72? I don't remember the exact number.) Since he had had a fever, he would have to go to the fever clinic section of the hospital- and a patient is only allowed 1 visitor, so my husband went with him while I waited at the main entrance.

When my husband got to the fever clinic area, they said that my son would have to be covid-tested, and they would need to stay in the fever clinic for several hours while they waited for the covid test result. My husband said, "We already went to another fever clinic today and he was covid-tested, here is the result, it's negative." They said, they don't accept that, they want to do their own covid test, and you have to sit here and wait for it. 

(At this point, it's about 9 pm, nobody wants to sit around and wait for a covid test result which is definitely negative because Shanghai has had, what, like 50 locally-transmitted covid cases over the past 2 years? Uh I can't find a stat for this- total for Shanghai is around 3400, but the vast majority of those are people who arrived on an international flight and went straight to quarantine, no danger of spreading. Yeah basically nobody here has covid.)

So there was some back-and-forth- my husband said "This is a covid test result from a hospital that has been officially designated as a fever clinic by the government of Shanghai. It's not like, some random guy in a parking lot." [Okay I wasn't there so those were probably not his exact words, lol.] Eventually a doctor said it's okay, you can go. The doctor agreed to take responsibility for it if somehow my son turns out to have covid and they let us go. She made a phone call to the front desk of the hospital to say it's okay, let us in when we come in the main entrance. 

So my husband and son left the fever clinic area and came in the main entrance to the hospital, and we saw a doctor (not the same one- the doctor mentioned above was just working in the fever clinic area).

(Also, I'll mention that the first hospital we went to that day does NOT have the rule "you have to wait for your covid test result before you can leave." Some fever clinics have that rule, some don't.)

Rules. They might not make sense when applied to a specific individual situation, and the security guard surely recognizes that, but why should they take the risk? If somehow you are covid-positive, it's a logistical nightmare disinfecting everything and testing everyone who happened to be there at the same time, and the security guard would be blamed and lose their job.

So this is the kind of environment we have here- and I'm sure it's even more extreme in Xi'an, which is having an actual covid outbreak. I am totally not surprised that a hospital refused to let people in who needed life-saving medical treatment. Actually, I am sure this isn't the first time it's happened in China during the pandemic. Surely there must be other people who died because of the lockdowns and because of the pandemic rules.

They want to just blame it on the local government of Xi'an, but my opinion is, when you have a "zero-covid" strategy, and you have a population of 1.4 billion, there will inevitably be some places where the local government does a really bad job of handling lockdowns and all that, and people die, not from covid but from problems caused by the lockdowns. That's inevitable (but that doesn't make it okay), and the national government has some responsibility for that... but what's the alternative?

There have also been news articles from Xi'an about people stuck in their homes unable to get food. If you have a lockdown, you have to set up a system to make sure everyone gets food delivered to them. This is obvious, right? Also this is the reason the lockdowns could never really work in the US- imagine a big government big enough to quickly set up a food-delivery system that guaranteed every household had food. Instead, what happened in the US was that restaurants and grocery stores saw a demand and started offering delivery services- that's how the free market works. But when it's the free market, nobody is making sure that everyone has access to the food deliveries and everyone can feasibly stay in their homes to do a proper lockdown. And to control the pandemic, it really has to be everyone, not just the people with enough money and privilege to make it work.

But anyway, apparently Xi'an has also done a bad job with the grocery deliveries.

Let's compare this with the US, though. (I am talking about the US because I'm American.) 800,000 people have died of covid in the US. I keep seeing so much news about the US health care system being overwhelmed because there are too many covid patients, and also nurses can't work because they're also getting covid or just getting burned out. I keep seeing news about schools trying to open and then closing again because suddenly a bunch of students and staff tested positive for covid. I see news about long covid. And the US does not yet have a vaccine for children less than 5 years old. (In China, there are vaccines for ages 3 and up.) My son is too little to be vaccinated.

So... if you want to talk about governments doing things wrong in handling the pandemic... Would you rather be killed by bureaucracy in China or by the free market in the US? (Raw numbers say the free market has killed way more...)

Yes, let's expose the failures of the Xi'an government, because these things absolutely shouldn't happen. (Just because it's "not as bad as the US" doesn't make it okay- like wow, set the bar a little higher than that.) But then claiming that it means "zero covid" is wrong, and China should just let everyone get sick- come on, all the other countries are doing it!- like, what on earth?

I'm in Shanghai- maybe I would be saying something different if I was elsewhere in China. Maybe I would have more criticisms of the Chinese government. I found an article on CNN which has this to say about how the government of Shanghai runs things way more efficiently than other cities in China:

In a way, Xi'an's dysfunction is not an exception. Complaints of disproportionately harsh measures abound during previous prolonged lockdowns in other comparatively smaller areas, from cities in the western region of Xinjiang to the southern border town of Ruili. But in Xi'an, such problems took place in a much more extreme form, on a much larger scale, and garnered much wider attention.

"People like to use Shanghai as a sort of reference point," Huang said, referring to the Chinese financial center widely praised for its cool-headed and targeted Covid response. "But they forgot that Shanghai is actually a rare case due to its relatively strong bureaucratic capacity."

"When the capacity is low, government officials are more likely to turn to heavy-handed, indiscriminate and even excessive measures that significantly raise the cost of implementing this (zero-Covid) strategy," he said, citing Xi'an as an example.

Yeah, I guess I shouldn't be ignorant of my own bias, because I am in Shanghai and I have benefitted a lot from China's "zero covid" strategy. I get to just live my life normally, except that I have to wear a mask in public and traveling is very restricted.

But I see western news media talking about China as if they don't know what they're doing, as if it's just completely absurd to try and stop covid from spreading, like, oh surely soon China will recognize how ridiculous this is, and give up their "zero covid" strategy... "they can't do this forever" and such... I mean, why? Why can't China do this forever? Who is going to stop them? Just because news organizations in other countries (like the US) have gotten used to covid and thousands of people dying every day and seem to think it's fine... No, here in China we STILL KNOW that's not fine. That's not okay, having thousands of people die of covid. That's not something we want. Just because it's "normal" to people looking in from other countries doesn't make it okay.

Take the plank out of your own eye. There are problems here, but the alternative is so much worse.

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Wow, just days after publishing this post, I see this on CNN: Beijing locks down office building with workers still inside after single Omicron case detected. Wow, the bias here, the horrified tone... unbelievable. The headline "locks down office building with workers still inside", written with the same wording you would write something actually bad like "set it on fire with workers still inside"... Umm, it's a lockdown, the point is to contain the virus, keeping people from leaving is THE ENTIRE POINT, not some kind of horrifying side-effect... Also "single Omicron case"- yeah see the thing is, it's probably NOT a "single Omicron case", there are probably more, so we have to find them before it spreads. Yeah it sucks if you have to sleep at work for a couple days, but you know what would suck more? If your grandma died of covid.

I mean, let's definitely keep an eye on the Chinese government in case they start claiming that controlling people's lives in other shady ways is necessary to save lives. But this, during the pandemic? This actually IS necessary. This is what you do if you actually want to defeat covid.

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Related: 

I Don't Know Anyone in China Who Has Had Covid 

"I'm Thankful That We Live In A Country..."

Well *now* I'm glad I stayed in China

Monday, January 10, 2022

Blogaround

1. Archbishop Desmond Tutu, South African anti-apartheid leader, dies at 90 (posted December 26)

2. A couple of the replies on this Twitter thread- yes, this is so real. 

Personally I didn't experience this specific fear because fortunately I was way way out of evangelicalism by the time my baby was born. I wrote about it here: I'm SO HAPPY I Won't Be Praying During Childbirth.

3. And somewhat related: The Strange Sad Story of Olive Heiligenthal (posted 2020) [content note: child death] This happened 2 years ago, and I don't think I blogged about it back then, because it's just so sad. I have nothing but sympathy for the parents. If it was my child, I'd do anything, of course I would do anything, I would sell myself to any god or devil- even the kind of devil who judges your worthiness for miracles by how many people get emotionally worked-up at a big worship event and how far and wide your grief gets spread on the internet to be mocked.

4. Covid Diary: The world envies us (posted December 31) Here's a blogger in Australia talking about what the pandemic has been like there.

5. I'm a church pastor and here's the truth about my late-term abortion (posted 2016) "In those moments, Trump, who has never been pregnant and presumably has navigated this far in his life without undertaking any difficult, gut-wrenching, gray-area decisions, used my own pain — deep, deep pain — to advance his political agenda."

6. NASA’s Webb Telescope Reaches Major Milestone as Mirror Unfolds (posted January 9)

7. Grieving Extinct Species on All Saints Day (posted November 2) "A congregation could specifically lift up the names of the species that have gone extinct in their state and/or country. They could display pictures of them, light candles, and toll the bell to remember their passing." I really love this idea. I believe in a God who cares about animal species going extinct, and I believe that is something worth mourning. But also I can't imagine how any kind of remembrance for extinct species could actually happen in an actual church service- every time I try to picture it, I picture the congregation laughing, like it's a joke, like "can you believe they're having us talk about extinct animals in church? what a bunch of hippy nonsense LOLLLLL"... I would be really interested in going to a church where this kind of service could really happen without everyone laughing at it.

8. Bambi: cute, lovable, vulnerable ... or a dark parable of antisemitic terror? (posted December 25) "There is a sense at the end that Bambi and all the other wild animals in the forest are merely 'born to be killed'. They know they will be hunted – and they know they will die. 'The major theme throughout is: you don’t have a choice.'"

9. Also a lot of people have COVID. Seth Myers. Whoopi Goldberg. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Stay safe everyone, get your vaccines and boosters, and also let's work on building a society that protects those who are most at-risk from COVID.

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