"The Berenstain Bears: The Very First Easter" (kids' book review)

Book cover for "The Berenstain Bears: The Very First Easter." 

I got this book for my kids: The Berenstain Bears: The Very First Easter. Here's my review of it.

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Summary

This is a book which gives a very basic outline of these events from the bible: Palm Sunday, the Last Supper, praying in the garden of Gethsemane, Judas's betrayal, Jesus being questioned by Pilate, the crucifixion, the angel at the tomb, and Jesus appearing to his disciples again after his resurrection. Each of these events is described pretty briefly, just a few sentences.

All the characters are depicted as bears because this is the Berenstain Bears universe.

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My take on this book

My son is at the age where he's learning to read. My daughter is at the age where she likes to tear books with her fast little hands. This book is not for her, lol. It's paperback.

I'm starting to teach my son bible stories, but he doesn't know that many of them yet. We don't go to church, and yeah, you know from all my other blog posts that I have a lot of issues with how bible stories are typically presented to children. I want him to know the stories, but I want to avoid all the problematic messages I got from these stories when I was growing up evangelical.

For the Easter story specifically, my 2 main concerns in telling this story to kids are:

1. How much graphic violence is shown when Jesus is tortured and crucified?
2. Does it say "Jesus died for your sins" or anything like that?

The Easter story, as told in the bible, is extremely violent. Jesus is beaten, flogged, a crown of thorns is stabbed onto his head, he is forced to carry his cross, his hands and feet are nailed to the cross, and then after he dies, a soldier stabs a spear into his side. 

It's a lot!

In my experience, Christians are a little bit too enthusiastic about how graphically violent this all was. Making a big deal about how Jesus needed to die the worst death ever, to pay for all our sins. How it was so horrific but he chose to do it out of love for us, and we should feel really really bad about our sins that did this to him.

I don't view it this way any more. I've read stuff from black Christians and/or feminist Christians who do NOT see it as a good thing that Jesus [supposedly] suffered the maximum possible amount of suffering. In the book, "The Cross and the Lynching Tree," James Cone says that Jesus was lynched. American Christians should all read James Cone. I've read articles from feminist Christians about why it's harmful to portray Jesus' suffering as a good thing- this has direct consequences in the way that women are socialized to put up with bad behavior from men, and marginalized people are told to accept their oppression because suffering is good for them and God will reward them in the long run- like, hey, it's not cool to tell people that suffering is a good thing because it makes them like Jesus- how about instead, we make society better so that people don't have to suffer in the first place?

Okay but can we get back to talking about the Berenstain Bears? How does this book portray the violence of Jesus' death?

This book doesn't really show any of the violence at all- it just says Jesus was hung on a cross, and died, and the illustration shows the silhouettes of people on the three crosses, but it doesn't show any violence beyond that. No blood. Nothing at all about Jesus being beaten/flogged.

I think this approach is very good. I want my son to know the basic plot points of the story, but I don't think there's any need to show all the graphic violence to kids.

And for my second concern: Does this book say anything about "Jesus died for your sins"? Because I don't want to teach my kids that.

No, "The Berenstain Bears: The Very First Easter" doesn't say "Jesus died for your sins." It pretty much just gives a simple overview of the story, and doesn't get into any questions about why things happened or what they mean. It doesn't say anything at all about what Jesus' death and resurrection mean for us. Seriously. Nothing. It doesn't say anything about sin. There's no "so we need to believe in Jesus," nope, nothing like that at all. It's actually quite surprising.

I feel that it's really good to have a book like this, which simply tells the story without also presenting an interpretation from some particular brand of Christianity.

My son asked me a lot of "why" questions, while reading this. Why did Judas betray Jesus? Why did people want to kill Jesus? I told him a few different possible reasons, but said we don't really know for sure, and people have different interpretations.

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In which I make a joke about Catholics

In the part about the Last Supper, the book says that Jesus said, "This bread and wine is like my body and my blood." I then remarked, "I guess this wasn't written by Catholics" and then my husband and son both said "what?" so I guess I shouldn't make any clever little remarks that reference obscure debates within Christianity like that. Turns out my household is not the right crowd for that.

(Catholics believe that when Christians have communion, the bread and wine *are* the body and blood of Jesus, rather than being *like* the body and blood of Jesus. I don't understand what that even means. I always went to churches that believed it was a symbol. Note that in the actual bible, Jesus says "this is my body" and "this is my blood"- referring to the bread and wine- so it's an interesting choice to add the word "like" when telling this version of the story.)

And I suppose I could make a lot of little observations about which details this book includes, and how it words things, and what that says about the brand of Christianity it's coming from. But I don't think that really matters- as I said above, my main concerns are the amount of violence, and whether it says we need to feel guilty about how our sin killed Jesus. This book is very good on those two points. It tells the basic story, it doesn't get into any graphically violent details, and it doesn't say anything at all about what it means for us.

I certainly have opinions on what Jesus' death and resurrection mean for us- I'm a Christian, of course I have opinions on that- but let's just teach kids the story first, before getting into that.

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Conclusion

I like this book because it's simple, and therefore doesn't get into any of the problematic stuff that Christian children's books often get into. It gives a brief overview of the bible story of Jesus' death and resurrection. This is what I want; I want my son to know the story. It doesn't say anything at all about what Jesus' death and resurrection mean. I like that. For now I just want my son to know the story. There will be plenty of time in the future to think about what it means. Maybe I'll spend my whole life doing that.

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Related:

Good Friday is R-Rated 

Reviews of Christian Children's Books 

"Text, Image, & Otherness in Children's Bibles" (I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH)

Blogaround

Links not related to the antichrist:

1. The great global redistributor we never hear about: money sent or brought back by migrants (January 13, via) "According to the UN, migrant workers send back about 15% of their earnings on average. But even a little money from rich countries can make a big difference in poorer ones. For example, 15% of the average annual income in the United States is nearly twice the average annual income in Colombia."

2. The Unbearable Loudness of Chewing (January, via) "But I think a second, larger reason is that misophonia is weird. It’s hard to explain and difficult to understand and doesn’t make any intuitive sense. After all, everyone hates the sound of chewing."

3. Democrats unveil legislation raising federal minimum wage to $17 an hour (April 8) It's a good idea. I'm skeptical about its chances of passing though.

4. Pulling Out The Big Guns For Needle Phobia In An Insane World Where Nobody Seems To Take It Seriously (February 20) I'm linking this because, I don't have needle phobia but I have similar things... This post takes it seriously and gives extremely practical suggestions, which is really rare to see. Usually people just treat you like you're being silly and making a big deal for no reason, and everything would be fine if you would just "relax."

5. Tidy Profit: Camera Captures the Cleaners Changing Lives (April 16) An article about women in China working as domestic workers (they are called "ayis" in China). We have an ayi who works for us, to take care of our baby while we're at work. (This is common in China because there aren't really daycares for infants.) She also does housework. In China if you can afford it, it really helps a lot to have an ayi.

6. Intuit, Owner of TurboTax, Wins Battle Against America’s Taxpayers (April 17) "Instead, it continued cajoling lawmakers and the White House into forcing millions of Americans to shell out hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars to file with expensive and confusing tax prep software."

7. Holy Saturday (April 17) "And now it’s Saturday and Jesus is dead and we’re all going to die and everything I’ve told you about him turns out to be in vain and everything I’ve staked my life on turns out to be in vain. Our faith is futile and we’re still hopeless in our sins. Jesus is dead and we are of all people most to be pitied."

8. Life and Living Not Death and Dying (April 17) "Christian theologians from multiple marginalized communities have spent years critiquing a theology that centers the good news on Jesus’ suffering rather than how life triumphed over suffering by undoing, overturning, and reversing that death."

Related to that: Good Friday Without Divine Violence (April 17) 

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Links related to the antichrist:

1. The Trump Administration Threat To Transgender Adult Care Is Growing At Lightning Speed (April 16) 

Also from Erin in the Morning: Washington State Passes Bill To Cover Some 12-Month Hormone Therapy Stockpiles (April 17) This is good news for trans people in Washington state. The thing that really surprised me was, it says actually hormone replacement therapy is usually for other health issues (menopause, etc)- trans people are only a small fraction of the people who need this kind of medical care.

2. THE GOOD TROUBLE CHECKLIST (April 3) "Figure out what your lane is. Then figure out who is local to you and already doing some of that work. How can you be useful? How can you extend existing efforts? How can you show up and raise hell? Do something."

3. 'Homegrowns are next': Trump hopes to deport and jail U.S. citizens abroad (April 16) WTF. And remember, he sent immigrants there without showing any proof that they were "gang members." He also wants to send US citizens there without showing any such evidence.

4. Trump exploiting antisemitism fears to undermine rule of law, warns Jewish coalition (April 16) "'Our safety as Jews has always been tied to the rule of law, to the safety of others, to the strength of civil society, and to the protection of rights and liberties for all,' reads the statement."

5. In the middle of a hepatitis outbreak, U.S. shutters the one CDC lab that could help (April 16)

6. Confusion reigns as asylum seekers who used CBP One receive notices to leave U.S. within 7 days (April 16) "'We have families who said ‘well, I’m just going to hide, because I can’t go back to my home country, I will be killed, so I prefer to hide,’' she said."

7. U.S.-born American citizen under ICE hold in Florida is released (April 18)

8. Exclusive: Senator Chris Van Hollen talks with Rachel Maddow live from El Salvador (April 17)

And: A Maryland senator visits his wrongfully deported constituent in El Salvador (April 17) "'I said my main goal of this trip was to meet with Kilmar,' Van Hollen wrote on X. 'Tonight I had that chance. I have called his wife, Jennifer, to pass along his message of love.'"

Blogaround

1. Our Most Emotional Video (March 29) A sudoku inspired by a Tracy Chapman song. Who knew that sudoku could teach us about the history of systemic racism? This is very well done. (1-hour-6-minute sudoku solve video)

2. The Problem With Vulgar Racism Is Not The Vulgarity (March 28) "One is a cartoon character who embodies the essence and ethos of white evangelicalism in America. The other one is Ned Flanders."

Also from the Slacktivist: Holy Saturday (March 30) "We can believe in Easter Sunday, but we can’t be sure. We can’t know for sure."

3. Amazon Ditches 'Just Walk Out' Checkouts at Its Grocery Stores (April 2, via) "Though it seemed completely automated, Just Walk Out relied on more than 1,000 people in India watching and labeling videos to ensure accurate checkouts."

4. Google to delete search data of millions who used 'incognito' mode (April 1, via) "The suit revealed that Google saved the standard and incognito browsing history of users in the same profile."

5. Banality and bigotry (April 6) This is so bizarre. Richard Dawkins says, "I'm a cultural Christian." ????? What is going on?

He is Risen

 Happy Easter everyone!

 

Blogaround

AI-generated image of white Jesus and the disciples taking a selfie at the Last Supper. Image source.

1. Christ is Risen - Matt Maher - Lyrics. One of my favorite Easter songs.

Readers, do you have any favorite Easter songs?

2. How Much Does Superhero Destruction Actually Cost? An Insurance Lawyer Reviews | Vanity Fair (January 20) I CANNOT EVEN TELL YOU how much I love this video. This is the EXACT CONTENT I want to see. This is what's missing from all the superhero movies- what happens to all the buildings/cars/etc that get destroyed? What happens in the aftermath of these big "exciting" superhero battles? Who pays for the damage? Do the Avengers have insurance? 

3. How Can This Puzzle Possibly Exist?? (March 19) 52-minute sudoku solve video.

4. Holy Saturday (April 7) "But that’s Sunday language and Sunday certainty and it doesn’t make much sense here on Saturday. Here on Saturday, we can hope it’s true and we may even try to believe it’s true, but we can’t know 'in fact' one way or another. Not now. Not on Saturday."

5. Chris Hedges: The Hypocrisy of the Christian Church (April 8) "Is Black Lives Matter a commodity, a piece of branding, or does it mean we will stand with those Black and Brown and Asian and white bodies in our prison gulags and internal colonies? This seminary may have removed the name of Samuel Miller, a slaveholder who used the gospel to perpetrate and defend a crime of Nazi-like proportions, from the seminary chapel, albeit only when students protested, but it embraces a billionaire who makes his fortune fleecing incarcerated men and women who work 40 hour weeks in prison and are paid, when they are paid, little more than a dollar a day."

6. Why AI isn’t an oracle of truth (April 10) "They’re the Platonic example of what philosopher Harry Frankfurt calls a bullshitter: a person who says whatever suits them in the moment, without regard to whether it’s true or even consistent with their past statements."

Blogaround

Yes, I am still in lockdown. I'll probably post another update about it tomorrow. Here is the latest link roundup:

1. Holy Saturday (posted April 16) "Seriously, just look around. Does it look like the meek are inheriting the earth? Does it look like those who hunger and thirst for justice are being filled? Does it look like the merciful are being shown mercy?"

2. I’m Asexual & Partners Always Think I’ll Change My Mind About Sex (posted March 28) "It’s always awkward to start a conversation on a dating app with, 'Hi, just as a heads up, I’m not interested in sex so if that’s a problem I don’t want to waste your time.' But that’s literally how I preface these conversations because it saves me the pain of having to break it to them later."

3. A Christian ‘health insurance’ ministry left families with millions in unpaid bills (posted April 20) "So everything is fine… until the moment you need them the most."

4. Hosea was no hero (posted 2021) "You can almost hear Hosea at parties introducing his wife, the harlot. 'AND WHY DID I MARRY SUCH A WHORE, YOU MIGHT ASK? I’M SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT THAT UP!'"

5. If Keeping Wrongly Convicted People In Prison Is Wrong, Ted Cruz And Josh Hawley Don't Want To Be Right! (posted February 17) 

Blogaround

The tomb is empty. Image source.

Happy Easter! He is risen!

I didn't make Easter eggs this year because in lockdown there is NO WAY I'll be "wasting" perfectly good eggs on that. So that's kinda sad.

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1. Cracking The Cryptic: The Movie (posted 2020) Here's an hour-and-twenty-eight-minute video of Simon Anthony solving a sudoku puzzle, and WOWWWWW this is INCREDIBLE. This had got to be one of my favorites on that youtube channel. This sudoku is SO HARD it's astounding.

2. Gilbert Gottfried, iconic comedian, dies at 67 after long illness (posted April 13)

3. Concordance-ism means the Golden Rule is never sufficient (posted April 2) "'Preying on the poor is Bad' is not a shared moral premise and won’t be received as one." 

(Do take a look at the "Anti-Gambling Sunday" document he links to- it is indeed not very good.)

4. The argument against God from sporadic miracles (posted March 28) "God cherry-picked this person, one disadvantaged person out of perhaps millions or billions, and sort of healed them." YES THIS. This is basically the reason I stopped praying for God to do things, years ago- it's just not right for God to help some people and not others. If it is true that "God answers prayer", that raises a lot of very awkward questions about why God answered this prayer and not that one, and why God allowed those bad things to happen in the first place. 

I do believe in God (and uhhh feel a little awkward posting this link on Easter- I do believe in resurrection) but I don't believe that They actively intervene in the world. I don't believe "God answers prayer"... honestly, a God that would do that, that would decide who gets healed and who doesn't according to who followed the guidelines about how to pray correctly- that God is disgusting and not worthy of worship.

I believe God is with us (I believe in incarnation). They feel the same emotions we feel, and the same pain and suffering and trauma. They "rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn." If that sounds useless to you because it doesn't involve actually doing anything tangible, well, yeah, I get that, so you don't have to believe it if you don't want.

5. Were ‘Extinct’ Species Found Alive in ‘Lost City’ in Honduran Rainforest? (posted April 4) This is so cool!

6. Britney Spears announces she's pregnant (posted April 11) Congratulations :)

Taking My Kid To Church: God Loves My Son

A children's book called "Jesus Loves Me!" Image source.

Part of the Taking My Kid To Church blog series

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It's Lent now, so I'm thinking to myself, "Maybe I should buy some books about Easter for Square Root." He loves books. He likes to point at the pictures and identify what they are- he says "moo" and "mama" and Chinese words for "fish" and "cat" etc. He can say so many words; he's just amazing.

So. Easter books. Well, I don't know, I am thinking he's not ready for the bible story about Easter. Too much torture and death, and honestly I think it's effed-up how we show children pictures of Jesus on the cross like it's no big deal.

So for now I'm not getting him any books like that. But as I was browsing around online, I did see some books about "God loves you." And I feel like, yes, I do want to get him a book like that.

I believe God loves him. I mean, just look at him, look at this little sweetheart, his beautiful eyes, his little precious feet. He's a toddler now, which means he runs around everywhere and he "helps" us with housework. Carrying a container of laundry detergent all over the apartment, getting all of Daddy's socks out of the drawer, opening and closing the kitchen cabinets over and over, yep so helpful. He found 3D glasses that we bought at a movie theater and now he insists I wear them while breastfeeding. How could anyone not love him? Yes, God loves him.

I want to tell him God loves him. But it's fine if he doesn't believe in God. My husband doesn't believe in God, and that's fine- actually, I think it's good for Square Root to see that people have different opinions about religion. So what I really want him to believe is this: If there is a God, a good and loving God, then Square Root deserves God's love.

That's it. That's what I want him to know. He deserves God's love. If he doesn't believe in God, okay that's fine too. But the idea that we don't deserve anything, that God is so "merciful" for stooping down and holding back feelings of disgust and loving us- no honey, no. You are wonderful and amazing and you deserve love and happiness.

God loves you, honey. But more importantly, you deserve God's love.

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Related:

I Deserve God's Love 

Taking My Kid To Church (Blog Series) 

Perfect

Perfect Number Watches VeggieTales "An Easter Carol" (2004)

Well we are really in for a treat! Today is Easter, and as it happens, the next VeggieTales for me to watch is "An Easter Carol" (2004) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OHo6B4EpeI …

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

No theme song, we just start right in with Mr Nezzar looking at his grandma's grave #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

The townspeople are all singing abt looking forward to Easter. Archibald is doing it Britishly #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/QFhICP4j3g

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Laura Carrot is selling lilies to help the orphanage.
"A lily, guv, for easter. it's a symbol of new loiffe" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Mr Nezzar comes along & says lilies won't last, what they really want is plastic eggs for easter #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

church will unveil their new window for easter. seems like Scooter Carrot, Dad Asparagus, & Junior all volunterr for this church, just like in "The Star or Christmas" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Junior & Dad talk abt how Mr Nezzar is rich but never comes to church. Does he not like Easter? But his factory makes all the plastic eggs. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

wait you have got to see this
robot chickens in the plastic egg factory
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/xnIScJtwNm

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

so that's where plastic eggs come from
i have some questions
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Bob & Larry (Cavis & Millward, respectively) work in the factory
WAIT they ARE the same characters from "The Star of Christmas." It's a sequel! Yay! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Mr Nezzar says Easter would be better if ppl spent their time buying more eggs instead of going to church #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Bob & Larry want to ask for a day off for easter #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

OH MY GOD HIS NAME IS EBENEZER NEZZAR #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/zQs2CzxXdY

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Bob asks for a day off. In response, Mr Nezzar sings a song abt how his grandma started the factory 113 years ago. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Before Grandma Nezzar died, she told Ebenezer "you tell every single person Easter means no death" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer says he didn't really get it, but then decided grandma meant "as long as i make easter eggs, it's like she's still alive" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer needs to keep the factory open so "grandma will live forever, just like she wanted" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Just then, Dad & Junior pop in to invite Nezzar to church #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

ummmm
so the idea is, he thinks easter is just abt eggs & making money, has no idea how it's connected to church
ugh
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Nezzar wants to build "Easterland" to make easter all year round
"We'll have easter egg hunts every day to please the massive throng" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& people will buy his chocolate bunnies too
A VEGGIETALES EASTER EGGGGGG, remember "Rack, Shack, & Benny" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

He's going to knock down the church to build Easterland. Larry tries to interrupt with "Easter is a time when..." as if telling the bible story is going to make a difference #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

oh no, Bob & Larry are fired
but wait, weren't they working there to pay off the theatre that burned down? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

"The world would be a better place if that church was never built" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Everyone is so worried but Dad Asparagus says "we just need to have hope" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

That night, Junior says he's still worried abt Nezzar tearing down the church. Dad says "we just need to have hope. Faith is being sure of what we hope for & certain of what we do not see." #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer Nezzar falls asleep looking at Easterland blueprints #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

holy crap it's the ghost of Grandma Nezzar
"Nonsense! Didn't I teach you there's no such thing as ghosts! You're having a vision! It's like a dream, with a point." #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Grandma says Ebenezer didn't listen to what she taught him abt the point of Easter #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Grandma says another visitor will come at midnight #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer wakes up terrified #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

meanwhile, bob & Larry are outside the factory, trying to break in to steal the plans & stop Easterland #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

lollllllllllllll "Millward, we're not stealing the plans, we're just BORROWING the plans" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer's mechanical egg opens up, to reveal.... Rebecca St. James! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/DT1ahtZ6Hz

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

she's got arms and hands and everything. this is a big deal for veggietales. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Rebecca St James says Ebenezer missed the point of Easter, & the point of the church #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

She pushes him out the window & they are flying somehow #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Now they are at church #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

this fairy (Rebecca St James) is named Hope #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

In church, Hope tells Ebenezer "you're not really here, this is easter past". He sees Grandma in church #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

"Well that's Grandma all right, but I don't remember that funny-looking kid" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/VIkuBVRm5k

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Grandma says the story of Easter began w Christmas, you can't have one without the other. Ebenezer doesn't get it, says he has no idea what relation Christmas & easter have #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

back in his office. "Well now you've messed things up. I got two of me!"
no this is easter past, 1 year ago #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

1 year ago, Ebby called Seymour (Pa Grape) the inventor to make mechanical chickens #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Seymour: "Wait a minute! You can't make easter bigger with plastic eggs!" Tries to tell him it's about Jesus, but doesn't get anywhere. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Now they are in "Easter present". Outside the factory. Behind them, Bob & Larry are trying to jump over the gate. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Now we are peeking into the Asparagus house. Scooter Carrot says "if Ebenezer really knew how his grandma felt, he would touch that church!" Grandma actually paid for the church's new windo. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Again, they repeat the fact that Ebenezer has no idea eastser is related to church & Jesus #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Junior says Mr Nezzar's not a bad man, he "just doesn't have something that we all have" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

^ rolled my eyes SO HARD at this bit of Christian supremacy

oh by the way, Junior is sick, & if he doesn't get treated "this will be his last easter" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer is all freaked out- Junior's parents know he's not expected to live, but they're "so calm. HOW CAN THEY BE SO CALM?" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Time for Rebecca St James to sing about the story of Jesus' life #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

summary of this song
- jesus was born
- grew up & cared for ppl
- happened 2000 years ago
- taught what is right
- ppl believed he was savior, god's son
- was killed
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer: "where's the hope in that?"
Hope: "if that was the end of the story, there'd be no hope. But it isn't." #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

i remember as a kid, thinking it was weird that this song doesn't explicitly say jesus came alive again after he died- it uses the term "rose" but how are ppl supposed to guess that means something as bizarre as literal physical resurrection #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Now they are in "easter future"
Laura Carrot is on the streets. Hope explains that there's no orphanage without easter, bc orphanage was founded by ppl filled with the hope of easter #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& the policeman doesn't stop a thief bc "what do you think made him brave in the first place? without the hope of easter, why would anyone risk their life for someone else?" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer is freaking out, we have to stop this! we need hope!!!!!! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

wakes up in a panic, yells out the window "WHAT DAY IS IT???" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

the easter egg factory seems to be... about to explode? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

meanwhile, church is starting, while the peas are there about to tear it down #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Mr Nezzar rushes in to say "don't touch this church!!!" & gives a speech abt the how he learned the true meaning of easter #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Suddenly Larry rushes in to say the factory & chickens are going to explode & Bob is trpped inside!!! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Nezzar rushes in to save Bob in the factory. Bob decides finally he's ready to stand up to him & say NO you can't build easterland #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Bob & Nezzar are spinning around, held by a giant mechanical arm #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

they fly through the window just as the whole factory explodes #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

they are safe. Bob kisses the ground.
plastic eggs are raining from the sky. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Nezzar says he will donate to the orphanage & pay for Junior's medicine #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Junior: "And God blessed us, everyone!" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

So that's the end of VeggieTales "An Easter Carol." Let's discuss. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

All right, the story of VeggieTales "An Easter Carol" was incredibly bizarre. Ebenezer just had *no idea* that Easter was related to religion, & as soon as he heard the story of Jesus, he totally changed. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Throughout the story, there are lots of times when Ebenezer says "easter is about plastic eggs & making money" or "i have no idea why so many people go to church on easter" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& there's a point where Larry tries to interrupt & tell him the story of Jesus. & Seymour also tries at another point. But they're just not able to get a word in edgewise #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

This is so completely weird. No, nobody who speaks English, lives in a western country, & interacts w mainstream culture can reach adulthood having NO IDEA that easter is related to Jesus' (supposed) resurrection #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

This is exactly how the story went in VeggieTales "The Toy That Saved Christmas" too. The townspeople all just *had no idea* that Christmas is associated w the birth of jesus.
COME ON.
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Here let me get my soapbox.
...
I LIVE IN CHINA
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

IN CHINA, it's common to find people who literally do not know that easter & Christmas are related to Christianity #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

so everybody in the US can just take your "war on Christmas" and eff off #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

We see that Grandma Nezzar took Ebenezer to church on "Easter past." Yet somehow he ... didn't pay attention?????? and has no idea that ... there's a story abt jesus living & dying & resurrecting? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Ebenezer even says that he didn't understand his Grandma's last words- "Easter means no death"- but then he concluded it meant "as long as I make Easter eggs it's like she's still alive." Seriously? Seriously? I submit that it's impossible to make an attempt to figure out what "Easter means no death" might mean and NOT come into contact with the concept of Jesus' resurrection. This is just so unrealistic.

Actually, the issue isn't that it's "unrealistic." Fictional stories are full of things that don't exist in the real world, and that's fine, I have no complaint about that. The problem is that, because of the context of the Christian culture that VeggieTales exists in, the story is not saying "imagine some fictional world where somebody was extremely clueless about why people go to church on Easter." It's saying that a lot of people in our real-world society (in mainstream US culture) don't know "what Easter is really about." And they just need a nice Christian to come explain it to them clearly (oh and make sure it's the CORRECT VERSION of the gospel, not some hippie lovey liberal thing) and they will convert right then and there.

Hope sings that song to him later, giving a very basic overview of the biblical account of Jesus. This was all new information to him? WTFFFFF #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

anyway i call BS on the idea of an adult in a modern western country, who is not in any way isolated from mainstream culture, having *no idea* that easter is related to Jesus #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& this also plays into the idea that ppl don't believe in [our version of] "the gospel" bc they haven't heard it explained correctly. & if you go and "share the gospel" with them, they will believe it #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

as if it's about information, not morality #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Like, Nezzar treats his employees badly because he never came into contact with a specific set of facts about a religious figure who lived 2000 years ago? COME ON. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

And that "Easter future" bit, where Hope explains that there is no orphanage, because it was built by ppl inspired by the hope of easter, & police don't catch criminals bc they need the hope of easter to inspire their bravery ... #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

... that's just total 100% Christian supremacist bullshit. IT IS A SIN to teach that to children. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Yes. Really. This movie really said that only ppl who believe in "the hope of Easter" would do good things like start an orphanage or risk their life for the sake of justice #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

If we didn't have the story of Jesus, we would still have other stories. How about "The Hunger Games"? How about "Star Wars: Rogue One"? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

how about everyone who's not a Christian and treats ppl right?
this VeggieTales movie is really trying to say those ppl can't exist. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

I've had enough of it. The bible says do not bear false witness against your neighbor. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

All right, another thing i want to say: In Hope's song about Jesus. The part with the resurrection. She suddenly got all abstract about "death is not the end, for those who believe" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

"He died for us to give us life, and to give us hope he rose." That's all she says about the actual plot points of the resurrection- everything else in that section of the song is abt ending death as a concept & giving us hope #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

as a kid i always thought it was extremely weird the song doesn't say that "rose" means "he came alive again after death. physical resurrection". how on earth are ppl who "never heard" supposed to know that's what "rose" means? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& Hope doesn't really explain *why* the story of Jesus' death/resurrection means hope for us & means the end of death #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Very very weird how they introduce a character who somehow made it to adulthood in western society having *NO IDEA* easter is related to jesus ... #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

... but then when they do tell the story of Jesus, they do so in a way where you can only understand what they're talking abt if you're already familiar w the story & common interpretations. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& it's the whole movie (not just that song) that makes that leap w/o explaining. The message was "Easter is about how Jesus' resurrection gives us hope & death is not the end" but it doesn't explain how one comes to that conclusion #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Another thing: How Junior's dad dismisses Junior's anxiety abt the church getting torn down, telling him to just "have hope" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Yeah this is a complaint i have w evangelical teaching- the idea that we're supposed to pretend bad things aren't bad. like we're not allowed to have negative feelings. anxiety is a sin. "do not worry." #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Dad Asparagus was going to just sit passively & let things happen & "have hope" & trust that God had a plan.
At least Bob & Larry tried to DO SOMETHING. They tried to steal the Easterland plans. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Bob & Larry's misadventures in breaking into the factory was presented as nothing more than comic relief. Just as a joke, not as role models, not as "let's seriously consider whether this action would be moral in this situation."

Overall, i think the "have hope" message was not good- because they never explained what exactly it meant. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

for Dad Asparagus, "have hope" apparently meant "just pretend everything is fine, & don't actually take active steps to improve your situation" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Also to some extent "have hope" was related to life after death but the connection was not explained at all. Mr Nezzar mentions he will see Grandma again someday. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& apparently "the hope of easter" is THE ONLY THING that can inspire ppl to do humanitarian work
*rolls eyes so hard* #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Anyway, let's sum up VeggieTales "An Easter Carol" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

First of all, very NOT COOL how they acted like it's completely possible that some people IN MAINSTREAM ENGLISH-SPEAKING WESTERN SOCIETY have *never heard* that Easter is associated w Christianity #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

It fits right in with nasty Christian myths like the "war on Christmas" & the idea that ppl reject Christianity only bc nobody ever explained to them the correct version of "the gospel" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Also the movie didn't explain *WHY* the story of Jesus' resurrection gives us "hope" & means death is not the end #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

I mean, maybe VeggieTales' audience is too young to get into different interpretations of atonement (oh thank god they didn't try to teach penal substitution)... #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

But... like... i mean, they should at least try to explain somewhat #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

otherwise you're teaching kids that they're not able to actually reason & understand why a thing might have a certain interpretation. they just have to trust what authority figures say. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Oh and one more thing: I love the Resurrection. I really do. I believe it, & i believe it is so good & meaningful & can inspire & give hope & all that #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

& i believe someday the whole world will be resurrected #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

Grandma Nezzar telling Ebenezer, "Easter means no death" as her last words- that's so good and beautiful. I really love that, and I believe it. I really do believe that someday we will see our loved ones who have died.

But in my review of this movie, I seem to have barely touched on the goodness of the message of resurrection. Because that's not really what this movie was about. Nope, not at all. The message of VeggieTales "An Easter Carol" was not about how good and wonderful and life-giving the idea of resurrection is. Instead, it was "isn't it terrible that a lot of people don't believe THE CORRECT THINGS about Easter?"

BUT. I very much DO NOT BELIEVE that everyone else needs to believe in Jesus' resurrection, or that the only way ppl can be inspired to do good is if they're Christians #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

that's a bunch of Christian supremacist nonsense, and has no place in an ideology that teaches we should "love our neighbor" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

All right that's all I have to say about VeggieTales "An Easter Carol." Happy Easter to those of you who believe in it~ he is risen
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-04-01

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To see all my VeggieTales reviews: Perfect Number Watches VeggieTales (Master Post)