Blogaround

1. This tweet

you miss a lot of the gospel if you think the feeding of the 5,000 was just to prove jesus can do miracles instead of people shouldn’t go hungry

— Mason Mennenga (@masonmennenga) August 8, 2024

2. Pro-Trump Republicans should think twice about ridiculing ‘Tampon Tim’ (August 9) Yeah, apparently Republicans are mocking Tim Walz and calling him "Tampon Tim"? (Because of a law he made that school restrooms need to have free tampons/pads available.) Not sure how many Republicans are doing this- I don't want to misrepresent them and say it's a huge proportion of them, when maybe it's not. 

But anyway. This is just so ridiculous to think that "Tampon Tim" is an insult. Everyone who has periods has been in a situation where you need a pad or tampon and you don't have one, and it's so awkward and embarrassing. You have to go around asking other girls if they have one- worst case is if you don't know anyone and you have to ask strangers. This is a real thing we have all experienced, and it's very obvious how much of a GOOD THING it would be to have free tampons and pads available in public restrooms, and some Republicans on the internet are treating it like it's weird and gross?

This reminds me of that genre of joke about men being embarrassed to go to the grocery store and buy pads/tampons for their female partners. Supposedly that's so embarrassing and unmanly and you should never ask a man to do that for you. Come on, what on earth. Why are some men so weird about this, to the extent that it's a whole genre of joke? My dad was never weird about that- my sisters and I would just tell him which specific ones we needed, and he would do his best to find them, and there wasn't anything awkward about it. It's just a thing that you need. There's no reason to make a big deal about it. There's no reason a man can't go buy it for you if you need it. Come on, are these men afraid that the cashier is going to judge them and think they are unmanly or something? Don't you think the cashier is going to think "oh I guess he has a wife/girlfriend/daughter who needs these" which is completely normal and not a cause for embarrassment at all. (Or, more likely, the cashier does not care even one bit.) Fellas, is it gay to have a girlfriend who menstruates?

Anyway, that's what I think about this "Tampon Tim" meme- it's a very normal boring thing that people need, it's not some salacious scandalous forbidden item. Anybody who thinks "Tampon Tim" is an insult is just announcing to the world how ignorant they are about women's bodies and women's lives.

3. The Paris Olympics in Photos (August 12) Photos of Chinese athletes at the Olympics.

4. Samuel L Jackson invites YOU TO VOTE FROM ABROAD (August 14) Yes! I love this! Samuel L. Jackson is looking out for immigrants like me~ Vote vote vote!

5. More delays for astronauts stuck in space as Nasa ponders return (August 14) "The latter would turn an eight-day mission into eight-month trip." This is WILD. There are literally people stuck in space right now.

6. Apple’s requirements are about to hit creators and fans on Patreon. Here’s what you need to know. (August 12, via) What on EARTH. Apple is going to start taking a 30% cut if you use the Patreon app on iOS. !!!!! That is messed-up! If you subscribe to anyone's Patreon, definitely do it on Android or in a browser, not on an iPhone app.

(Oh hai did I ever mention I have a Patreon?)

7. “In Bible Times They’d Break a Lamb’s Leg–” (July 28) "The single instance story is, admittedly, hard to disprove. There may be some stupid leg-breaking shepherd out there who really did try to tame his sheep through a club to the femur one time. Then he got spotted by some deranged pastor who reported it to his congregation, and, before you know it, the story was off to the races faster than an angry three-legged sheep trying to run away from his stupid shepherd. It’s possible this happened one time, strictly speaking."

Great post from Dr. Laura Robinson about urban legends that Christians repeat about things that supposedly happened in the culture where the bible was written. I'm not familiar with the one about breaking a sheep's leg, which she discusses in her post, but I have heard the one about the camel and the "Eye of the Needle" gate. This is totally made-up and not real, and it's AMAZING to me how it completely changes the meaning and feeling of that bible passage about "it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle." Here's how that might play out in a typical bible study discussion:

"Jesus says that it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven. Wow, that's a pretty striking image. No way a camel can go through the eye of a needle. Sounds like rich people are really in trouble, then. This really worries me because we have a lot of money compared to the average person in this world- millions of people live in extreme poverty."

"Oh, well, what he actually meant was this: There was a gate in Jerusalem called the Eye of the Needle, and it was really narrow, and when people came with their camels all loaded up with stuff, they had to take everything off the camel, and make the camel kneel down and shuffle forward on its knees. So, what he's actually saying is, rich people totally can go to heaven, they just have to be willing to give up their stuff, and they have to love God more than they love their money."

"Oh thank goodness, that's so much better! So instead of a disturbing passage about how I might be unable to be part of God's kingdom because I'm not doing enough to use my money to help others, it just means I have to have the right attitude in my heart, I just have to feel like 'yeah I would give up my money if God wanted me to.' Wow that makes me feel so much better. And it doesn't require me to actually do anything."

8. Joe Biden Will Let You Finally Cancel Gym Subscription You Haven't Used Since The Pandemic (August 14) "Among other things, the plan includes a new Federal Trade Commission rule that will require companies make it as easy to cancel a subscription as it is to sign up for."

Blogaround

So I just watched "Thor: Ragnarok", and Loki is, ahem, causing me to stumble. Image source.

1. To stop the institutionalization of children, stop volunteering in orphanages (posted October 31) "To meet the demand of tourists who want to support poor children, according to Save the Children,  there are many cases of orphanage managers taking children from their parents after convincing them they would be better off in the institution."

2. So you know the scene in "Spider-Man: Homecoming" where Peter is like, "If you even cared you'd actually be here" and the Tony pops out of the Ironman suit unexpectedly- was anybody else like "SEE THIS IS WHY THE INCARNATION IS SUCH A BIG DEAL"?

3. Perfect Number watches VeggieTales "Where's God When I'm S-Scared?" [updated link] So I decided to livetweet episodes of VeggieTales. (Come for the questionable theology, stay for the hilarious jokes and songs.) This is a storify on the first episode.

Here's episode 2: Perfect Number Watches VeggieTales "God Wants Me To Forgive Them!?!" [updated link]

4. On the Evangelical Response to Harvey Weinstein (posted October 30)

5. Thor: Ragnarok is a direct commentary on Trump's America (posted November 5) [content note: spoilers for "Thor: Ragnarok"]

6. 'Thor: Ragnarok' Is A Bold Commentary On The Insidiousness of Imperialism (posted November 4) [content note: spoilers for "Thor: Ragnarok"] "In the climax, Hela gestures towards the golden grandeur on display and muses: 'Proud to have it, but not proud of how you got it.'"

7. Sheep pick Barack Obama, Emma Watson out of a line-up "Human appreciation that sheep have superior face-recognition skills isn’t new. There’s a reason the Gospel of John has Jesus observing: 'I know my sheep and my sheep know me.'"

Loki with his horns, cape, and daggers. Image source.

Jesus had some millstone-related things to say about that.

Image source.

Good news, everyone! Remember how I was blogging through the gospel of Matthew awhile back, and then I just kind of stopped? I’m finally starting again. Let’s take a look at Matthew 18:1-14. 

First, Jesus tells his disciples that the one who is like a child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. What does this mean? What particular characteristics of children is Jesus getting at? The only clue in this passage is Jesus mention of “humbling yourself” like a child. Maybe that’s it?

But really, are children actually humble? Children would also argue about “who is the greatest.” Maybe Jesus is saying children are humble because they are dependent on their parents; they recognize that they can’t do everything. Maybe?

Christians like to talk about how we should have "faith like a child" but I did some googling and can't find any biblical reference to support this. Matthew 18 only mentions humility, and Luke 18:17 says we must "receive the kingdom of God like a little child"- again probably a reference to humility. I’ve heard many atheists argue with this "childlike faith" concept that Christians praise; believing everything an authority figure tells you isn’t really a good thing. If Jesus thinks children are better because they’ll just believe stuff without asking too many questions, well, I can’t get on board with that.

Umm but actually children do ask a lot of questions. They are generally curious. They want to know “why?” Perhaps their motivation for asking questions is not to challenge and disagree, but to better understand something that they already trust their parents are right about.

Just like how I think if God is legit, then God can handle us questioning and doubting.

Then there’s this bit about “whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.”

Well, that’s lovely.

Children will believe what you tell them, so if you teach them a type of Christianity that views certain groups as inferior, and then they go and treat people badly because of their beliefs... well Jesus had some things to say about that. If you teach your children that everyone secretly knows Jesus is Lord but they choose to not be Christians because they would rather sin, and then your children go off and argue and accuse people accordingly, dude, what have you done? It’s not really the kid’s fault; they’re just repeating what you said. They don’t know any better, at that age. But you have no excuse. If you’re an adult, you’ve had enough time and opportunities to find out that that’s bullshit.

Similarly, I believe we can extend this idea to teachings that are harmful to the children themselves. If you teach that having premarital sex will ruin one’s life, that “your virginity is the most important gift you can give to your husband”, that “every crush takes away a piece of your heart you can never get back,” then WHAT THE HELL? You’re a freakin’ adult, surely you’ve had some romantic experiences, or at least you know people who have... you should know this is bullshit. Seriously, especially that line about losing pieces of one’s heart every time you like a boy, geez, just, WTF? IT’S ALL LIES and Jesus had some millstone-related things to say about that.

If you teach that girls’ bodies are so dangerous and powerful, so they need to be “modest” or else they’re sinning. If you teach that being gay is wrong. If you teach that being transgender is not a real thing. Yeah, Jesus was not a fan of people leading children astray like that. 

Image source.

The next part of Matthew 18 has Jesus discussing “temptations to sin.” He says, “And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.”

Let me add to that: “If your interpretation of the bible causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.”

This is for all y’all who oppose LGBT rights because “we have to find a balance between being accepting and loving, and what the bible says.” Yeah, cut it off and throw it away.

And for those who teach men should be the leaders, and women should submit, and women shouldn’t teach: have you noticed the pain that this causes to actual people, created in the image of God? Cut it off and throw it away.

Again, if your belief in hell causes you to sin by treating people like projects, cut it off and throw it away.

All of Scripture can be summed up as: Love God and love people. And that’s not “love God first and love people second”; no, there is no situation where we have to choose loving God over loving people; there is no situation where we love God by being unloving toward people. Remember what God said in Isaiah 58, about how the people were so religious and they were fasting, but it was no good because “you oppress all your workers.” No, true fasting is “to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke.”

(Can I get an amen?)

Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 25:40, "whatever you did for the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." We love God by loving people. And if your interpretation of the bible causes harm to people, cut it off and throw it away.

Let me put it another way, just so all you Real True Christians out there can be 100% sure that I’ve “been deceived by the world” and I’m a “false teacher”: I don’t care what the bible says. If a belief actively hurts others, then I refuse to accept it. Cut it off and throw it away. 

Okay, let’s back up a minute. I just said “If your belief in hell causes you to sin by treating people like projects, cut it off and throw it away”, but hang on a second, Jesus talks about hell in this very passage here. How can I use a passage that mentions hell to argue that we should quit believing in hell?

Ah, yes, I’m glad you asked. Let’s take a look at what exactly Jesus is saying here about heaven and hell, and we will see whether it matches the common evangelical Christian understanding that “all non-Christians automatically go to hell.”

When Jesus says, “It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire,” it seems that he is saying sin causes people to go to hell. If you keep your temptation-hand and so you sin, you go to hell. If you cut it off so you don’t sin, you go to “life.” Wait wait wait... don’t evangelical Christians believe that faith determines whether you go to heaven or hell? Just, do you really really truly believe in Jesus or not? Why is it that, in this passage, Jesus doesn’t at all imply that going to hell would be related to the beliefs one holds?

“Ah, no no, you see, Jesus is talking about habits of sin. Your hand causes you to sin, and you know this, it must have happened many times. If you really really truly dedicated your life to Jesus, then you would not allow that habit of sin to continue. A person who is really truly saved- by faith!- would do what Jesus says and cut out the things that tempt them. Plus Jesus is only talking to his disciples here- he doesn't need to mention the whole 'we are only saved by faith, ie, believing the correct information' thing- I mean, that's obvious. He just needs to remind them about the 'if you're a REAL Christian, you would do this' thing, [you know, because separating real and fake Christians is a very important concern for us].”

In other words, we already know the right answer is “all non-Christians automatically go to hell.” The bible is clear, ya know. Well, except not really in this particular passage, but it doesn’t matter, we already know that’s the right answer. SO, ASSUMING that Jesus OF COURSE would never teach anything other than “all non-Christians automatically go to hell”, we can come up with an explanation for how this fits with that doctrine.

(Determining who is following the “plain meaning of Scripture” and who is “reading too much into it” will be left as an exercise for the reader.)

Additionally, don’t Christians believe that in heaven, everything will be perfect and we’ll have new bodies? So why does Jesus mention the possibility of being in heaven as an amputee? Yeah, based on all these bits that don’t exactly make sense, I’m concluding that Jesus isn’t literally telling us how heaven and hell will work. Instead, he’s saying how important it is to get rid of stuff that causes sin (ie hurts people).

Image source.

The next part is the parable of the lost sheep, and look at that, Jesus is still speaking on the topic of children. He says, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.”

Uh, what? Each child has his/her own personal angel? Just hanging out in heaven? ... Staring at God?

I don’t know, guys. This bit is pretty WTF for me. I got nothin’.

ANYWAY LET’S TALK ABOUT THE LOST SHEEP. (If you haven’t read it, go here.)

So what is the “wandering off”? I always assumed it meant sin, but now I’m not sure. There’s nothing in this parable about the consequences of this sheep’s sin; only the fact that the sheep won’t be safe when it’s alone, which maybe could show the fact that when we sin, we are hurting ourselves too?

I don’t know about that... when Christians use the term “wandering away” or “led astray” to refer to sin, the focus is on how this particular individual is sinning by believing the wrong thing. There are some rare cases when this kind of language is used to refer to getting addicted to drugs (which actually is harmful) but generally it means “this person has changed their beliefs, and now they believe things that aren’t the correct things.” (Which is, of course, what happened to me.)

If that’s the case, then this is a parable about someone who questions what the church taught them, but in the end they realize that actually the church was right about everything and they come back to the herd of sheep. God mercifully allows them to realize “we’re right and you’re wrong.”

Yeah I wouldn’t be a fan of that parable.

I define sin as something that hurts others (or hurts yourself). So if this parable is about the sheep sinning by wandering off, who exactly is this sheep hurting? And where is God’s compassion for the sheep’s innocent victim? And why would sin be portrayed as confused wandering rather than an attack on people who bear God’s image?

Maybe instead, the parable is about loneliness. Maybe it’s about the sheep that doesn’t fit in, who’s not accepted by the others. Maybe it’s about those of us who have changed our beliefs and now we can’t find a church that will love us. And the good news is God cares about that. God knows we need acceptance and love. And there is hope that we can be brought back to the group of sheep- not because we decide to conform and deny who we are, but because “us and them” can learn to accept each other. Someday.

And there is more rejoicing over the one lost sheep who finally found a place to belong than over the ninety-nine who were fine.

Image source.

Discussion questions:

When Jesus said the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is one who is “like a child”, what qualities was he referring to?

Could the bible/ one’s interpretation of the bible be something that “causes you to sin”, that Jesus tells us should be cut off?

What was up with that “their angels always see the face of my father” bit?

What does the lost sheep’s wandering represent?

-------------------

This post is part of a series on the gospel of Matthew.

Previous post: From Demons to Money Fish (Matthew 17:14-27)

Next post: Matthew 18 (Matthew 18:15-20)

Click here to go to the beginning of the series.

Blogaround

Image source.

1. For Chinese New Year a Celebration of the World’s Largest Sheep (posted February 18) Cool!

2. I Dated Christian Grey: How Women Are Groomed For Abuse (posted February 14) "I’ve been swept off of my feet by what I desperately believed to be—but were not—grand romantic gestures."

3. Atheist lent, why it matters, and also what should I (and maybe you, if you’d like) give up? (posted February 18) "But religion evolved over literally thousands of years to solve a host of problems, satisfy a broad array of needs, and contribute intimately to living a better and more meaningful life."

4. 8 Things Some A$$#ole Says in Every Debate About Sexism (posted February 19) "How can you be complaining about this when there are starving children in Africa? Starving children I'm doing less than nothing to help, because merely nothing would be ignoring them. But I'm specifically pointing out that I know about them to use them as underfed weapons against things I actually care about."

5. Why are Christian movies so painfully bad? (posted February 15) "Perhaps the film's main selling point is that it's not Fifty Shades of Grey."

6. When some faction says they, and they alone, are the Real, True Christians, you shouldn’t take their word for it (posted February 20) "Real True Christians do not base their identity on their devotion to the Bible or to the Creeds, but on finding ways to elevate themselves above other Christians they can denounce as false, apostate, liberal and inauthentic. ... They may be the ones talking the loudest about 'authentic' Christianity/Islam/fandom, but they are bound to be the least reliable examples of what such 'authentic' belief might entail." Follow-up posts: The framework of fundamentalist propaganda distorts how we view every religion and Scholar clarifies, walks back his comments in Atlantic ISIS essay.

7. Photographer captures bizarre, intimate scenes of Chinese factory life (posted February 23) "The Lunar New Year is the only time of year China's army of migrant workers gets to go home. Known as 'chunyun,' the annual travel crush is the world's largest migration of humans."

8. Immodest Proposals: The Rules (posted February 4) "If you wear a tank-top, you must pin your undershirt or bra straps so they do not show. If boys see straps, they will imagine you in your bra, and then not in your bra, and then they will spontaneously combust from lust."

9. Biblical Sexting: A How-To Guide (posted February 14) "You really turn my wheel within a wheel."

Happy Year of the Sheep/Goat!

Image souce.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone! It is now officially the year of the sheep. (Or goat. More on this later.) Last night (February 18) was the big night. China only has one timezone, even though it’s the size of like four timezones- so the whole country rang in the new year at the same moment.

This year, 2015, is the year of the 羊[yáng]. Now, what kind of animal is a 羊[yáng]? Sometimes you’ll see it translated as “year of the sheep”, sometimes it’s “year of the goat”, and sometimes, perhaps even less accurately, “year of the ram.”

Basically 羊[yáng] is a type of animal which includes sheep and goats. All of them are 羊[yáng]. 

See the little horns on top? Like a sheep or goat, right? (Though in this image, they're way curlier than the way we normally write it.) Image source.

Wait, so Chinese doesn’t have different words for “sheep” and “goat”?

No no no no, that’s not what I said. “Sheep” is 绵羊 [mián yáng], “goat” is 山羊 [shān yáng]. See, they are different types of 羊[yáng]. If you really want to specify if you’re talking about sheep or goats, you can use those words. But seriously, when you tell a story about something a sheep did, is it really that important that it was specifically a sheep, rather than a goat? Yeah, usually not very important. So just say 羊[yáng].

For more clarification on what a 羊[yáng] is, we can try an image search. Here are the results:

Baidu image search for 羊.

Yeah, some are sheep, some are goats.

However, in my opinion, most of the Chinese New Year decorations this year look more like goats than sheep. Like this stuffed animal hanging up in the mall:

(But I also saw some toy llamas in a display. Apparently they are also a kind of羊[yáng], or at least they have 羊[yáng] in their name. I don’t know what to tell you.)

Anyway, for more information about Chinese New Year, read my post from last year, the year of the horse. Right now, however, the most pressing question is: what kind of puns can we make about 羊[yáng]? Chinese culture loves puns.

This year the big pun is 三羊开泰 [sān yáng kāi tài]. It comes from an old saying 三阳开泰 [sān yáng kāi tài], whose pronunciation is the same, but look, we replaced the 阳[yáng] (sun) with 羊[yáng]. So clever. Seems that no one is able to give me a straight answer on what 三羊开泰 [sān yáng kāi tài] actually means, all we know is it’s about 羊[yáng] and it’s something about being prosperous. Think of it this way:

1. Get 3 sheep.

2. ????

3. Profit!

This painting helpfully illustrates the concept of 三羊开泰 [sān yáng kāi tài]. Image source.

And finally, I’ll leave you guys with some links to videos of the performances from last night’s 春晚[chūn wǎn] (the Chinese “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve”). There were songs, dances, skits, lots of fun stuff. Here are a few that don’t require you to understand any Chinese. (I'm including links to both youtube and iqiyi, a Chinese site. The Chinese site has way better video quality, but I don't know how well it will load outside of China.)

Crazy-skilled acrobats. iqiyi link. Youtube link.

Belly dancing, Russian dancing, and other styles from around the world. iqiyi link. Youtube link.

Kung fu routine which involved a lot of dancing with chairs. iqiyi link. Youtube link.

Happy new year, everyone! 新年快乐 [xīn nián kuài lè]! Best wishes for success and health in the new year! Now go eat some dumplings.