Last week I posted the story of how Jesus changed my life, and followed it up with 5 things my testimony does not mean. But here's one more thing I realized: Right now, 4 and a half years after all of that heartbreak and committing my life to God and being willing to follow God's plan, even if it meant I'd be single forever... right now I have a boyfriend. And I didn't mention that at the end of my story.
Why? It never even occurred to me to mention that. It's so totally not relevant.
What is my testimony? Is it "I thought being single meant my life was hopeless and meaningless, but I gave everything to God and he completely changed me- now I know that God is all I need, no matter what" or is it "and then JUST A FEW YEARS LATER I met this super-awesome guy and now we're dating and it's awesome!!!!"?
Is Jesus my savior, or is my boyfriend my savior?
When I said I trust God and I commit my life to God, no matter what, I meant that. God owes me nothing, except to be my Lord and to be with me all the time, like he promised. If I never get married, then God is still my God, and I will still celebrate when he changed my life.
If you think "oh, eventually perfectnumber found a great guy, so it's a happy ending" then you're dead wrong. That's insulting to me, that's insulting to my testimony, and that's insulting to my God.
JESUS saved me. JESUS changed my life. JESUS is all I need. End of story. And THAT is a happy ending.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
How "hate the sin and love the sinner" led me to quit "hating the sin and loving the sinner"
Or, my journey from anti-gay-rights to pro-gay-rights, which happened because I actually believed that line about "Christians really do love gay people."
(I apologize in advance for the offensiveness of some of the blatantly ignorant statements contained in this post.)
It started long ago, when I heard about this new threat to marriage and families. A minority of vocal activists were promoting "gay pride" and other obviously evil things.
Now we obviously know that God made marriage for a man and a woman. So "sexual orientation" isn't even a real thing. Actually, it turns out a lot of gay people were abused as kids (citation needed). In other words, aha, I've solved the puzzle! Abuse is what causes gayness, and therefore I don't have to actually care about gay rights.
And, as I was told, the whole "gay pride" movement was actually about destroying our society by redefining marriage and families- oh, and restricting Christians' religious freedom. Don't be fooled into having compassion for these people- it's all a clever trick.
Also, why do we keep being labeled as "homophobic" or "hating" gay people? (Oh actually we need to call them "homosexuals" because "gay" is a euphemism that makes it sound less evil. Nope, can't figure out why we're being accused of hate here...) No, Christians LOVE gay people- love them enough to tell them the truth that what they're doing is WRONG.
Yeah, we gotta be like Jesus. Hate the sin and love the sinner. He hung out with prostitutes and everyone else that was judged by society. He would totally hang out with gay people if he was around now.
So yeah, that's what conservative Christianity has to say about that. And that's what I believed because, how was I supposed to know? I hadn't actually met any gay people or heard their stories.
Though I must say, I never understood the "God hates fags" stuff (nobody does, right? Everyone agrees that Westboro Baptist is totally wrong in every possible way, yes?) and the questions about whether gay people go to hell... dude, aren't we ALL going to hell, if not for the absurd mercy of God? I don't see how sexual orientation has any bearing on that.
But then things started to change.
I heard someone say "'hate the sin and love the sinner' doesn't work." I started to become more and more bothered by the stereotype that Christians hate gay people. What can I do to fight that? Because, you know, we LOVE gay people. We're just trying to restrict their rights because it's for their own good. How can I help them see that we love them?
I went to Urbana, a Christian missions conference, and attended a few talks about this very topic. I heard Christopher Yuan tell his story, about how he used to live a life that was all about promiscuous gay sex, but God saved him from it, and he's now celibate. I heard Andrew Marin talk about building friendships with the LGBT community, and I read his book, Love Is an Orientation.
For the first time EVER, I considered the question "Gay people are gay- now what do you want them to do?" rather than just dismissing it all as something BAD. Gay people are gay. It doesn't matter the reasons why- so, they're gay, that's the way it is, it's not something that's going to change- now what?
What does God want them to do? For the first time in my life, I realized that no, the goal isn't for God to "fix" them by making them straight. I know all about the temptations that come with being straight... I know all about lust, about valuing a relationship more than I value my God, about desiring power over boys. Are we seriously going to celebrate when someone lusts after and objectifies members of the "correct" gender? Really? No, what God wants for ALL people- regardless of sexual orientation- is that they follow him.
But the difference is straight people can date and get married, and gay people just have to NEVER EVER act on their attraction.
And I was still very bothered about this stereotype that says Christians hate gay people. I wanted to combat it by reaching out and making friends with gay people, maybe attending some LGBT-related events to show support- but like, not TOO much support- wouldn't want anyone to get the idea that I actually SUPPORT that LIFESTYLE.
And things continued to change. Motivated by a desire to listen and love people- you know, like Jesus said- I searched out blogs on the internet written by gay people. Hearing their actual stories made me realize how wrong I had been about a lot of things, how I had been just relying on stereotypes and assumptions.
I remember one time I shared a link on Facebook, about how parents can be supportive of their kid who comes out to them. Someone asked me why I posted that on Facebook- what if it made people think I was gay? I said if I'm going to be misunderstood, I'd rather have Christians think I'm gay than gay people think that I hate them because I'm a Christian.
Some Christians say "yes, we accept gay people, but not that behavior and that lifestyle." Forget the "behavior" and the "lifestyle". As far as I can tell, gay people want to know if you accept them for who they are. You don't need to give your opinion on some stereotyped "lifestyle" of promiscuity- what they really want to know is "Can I be honest with you, or do I have to hide part of who I am?"
Yeah, so now I think gay marriage should totally be legal, and let's also fight against the other injustices that gay people face. And I've found that there are strong arguments which say that the bible actually supports gay marriage- I honestly don't know if that's right or not, so I will err on the side of being too permissive, and let gay Christians sort it out with God.
I still have a long way to go. Yes, my views have totally changed, but it's because of what I've read online. I should really be talking to gay people in real life about this stuff- you know, my real friends, not internet people. And I'm trying to do that- for the past few months I've been going to meetings of the LGBT student group at my university, and I'm really happy about that.
And I still have some questions I need to face. Yes, I accept gay people, but wouldn't it be BETTER if they were straight? Am I treating this like a problem that I wish would go away? Or is this the reality of how God created them, and should be celebrated and valued? And if it's normal to be gay, then I should support the inclusion of more gay characters on tv, right? And what does this mean for what we teach kids- should we talk about crushes and fairy tales in a way that assumes the kids are all straight, or should we teach that both gay and straight (and anything in between) are normal?
I don't know the answers. I'm still learning.
But this is what we need, on all sides of this issue: A willingness to listen, to tell our stories, to admit we were wrong. I had (and still have) a lot of incorrect assumptions about gay people, and there are also a lot of incorrect assumptions about Christians surrounding this issue. (It's just NOT TRUE that opposing the legalization of gay marriage means you hate gay people, okay? I understand that it's harmful and I understand why it comes across as hate, but I used to believe the same thing, and hate was not my motivation.)
Don't judge. That goes for people on all sides of this.
---------------------
This post is part of Gays and Christians: A Synchroblog for Sanity, hosted by Justin Lee. Let's have some saner conversations about this.
(I apologize in advance for the offensiveness of some of the blatantly ignorant statements contained in this post.)
 |
| Image source. |
It started long ago, when I heard about this new threat to marriage and families. A minority of vocal activists were promoting "gay pride" and other obviously evil things.
Now we obviously know that God made marriage for a man and a woman. So "sexual orientation" isn't even a real thing. Actually, it turns out a lot of gay people were abused as kids (citation needed). In other words, aha, I've solved the puzzle! Abuse is what causes gayness, and therefore I don't have to actually care about gay rights.
And, as I was told, the whole "gay pride" movement was actually about destroying our society by redefining marriage and families- oh, and restricting Christians' religious freedom. Don't be fooled into having compassion for these people- it's all a clever trick.
Also, why do we keep being labeled as "homophobic" or "hating" gay people? (Oh actually we need to call them "homosexuals" because "gay" is a euphemism that makes it sound less evil. Nope, can't figure out why we're being accused of hate here...) No, Christians LOVE gay people- love them enough to tell them the truth that what they're doing is WRONG.
Yeah, we gotta be like Jesus. Hate the sin and love the sinner. He hung out with prostitutes and everyone else that was judged by society. He would totally hang out with gay people if he was around now.
So yeah, that's what conservative Christianity has to say about that. And that's what I believed because, how was I supposed to know? I hadn't actually met any gay people or heard their stories.
Though I must say, I never understood the "God hates fags" stuff (nobody does, right? Everyone agrees that Westboro Baptist is totally wrong in every possible way, yes?) and the questions about whether gay people go to hell... dude, aren't we ALL going to hell, if not for the absurd mercy of God? I don't see how sexual orientation has any bearing on that.
But then things started to change.
I heard someone say "'hate the sin and love the sinner' doesn't work." I started to become more and more bothered by the stereotype that Christians hate gay people. What can I do to fight that? Because, you know, we LOVE gay people. We're just trying to restrict their rights because it's for their own good. How can I help them see that we love them?
I went to Urbana, a Christian missions conference, and attended a few talks about this very topic. I heard Christopher Yuan tell his story, about how he used to live a life that was all about promiscuous gay sex, but God saved him from it, and he's now celibate. I heard Andrew Marin talk about building friendships with the LGBT community, and I read his book, Love Is an Orientation.
For the first time EVER, I considered the question "Gay people are gay- now what do you want them to do?" rather than just dismissing it all as something BAD. Gay people are gay. It doesn't matter the reasons why- so, they're gay, that's the way it is, it's not something that's going to change- now what?
What does God want them to do? For the first time in my life, I realized that no, the goal isn't for God to "fix" them by making them straight. I know all about the temptations that come with being straight... I know all about lust, about valuing a relationship more than I value my God, about desiring power over boys. Are we seriously going to celebrate when someone lusts after and objectifies members of the "correct" gender? Really? No, what God wants for ALL people- regardless of sexual orientation- is that they follow him.
But the difference is straight people can date and get married, and gay people just have to NEVER EVER act on their attraction.
And I was still very bothered about this stereotype that says Christians hate gay people. I wanted to combat it by reaching out and making friends with gay people, maybe attending some LGBT-related events to show support- but like, not TOO much support- wouldn't want anyone to get the idea that I actually SUPPORT that LIFESTYLE.
And things continued to change. Motivated by a desire to listen and love people- you know, like Jesus said- I searched out blogs on the internet written by gay people. Hearing their actual stories made me realize how wrong I had been about a lot of things, how I had been just relying on stereotypes and assumptions.
I remember one time I shared a link on Facebook, about how parents can be supportive of their kid who comes out to them. Someone asked me why I posted that on Facebook- what if it made people think I was gay? I said if I'm going to be misunderstood, I'd rather have Christians think I'm gay than gay people think that I hate them because I'm a Christian.
Some Christians say "yes, we accept gay people, but not that behavior and that lifestyle." Forget the "behavior" and the "lifestyle". As far as I can tell, gay people want to know if you accept them for who they are. You don't need to give your opinion on some stereotyped "lifestyle" of promiscuity- what they really want to know is "Can I be honest with you, or do I have to hide part of who I am?"
 |
| Image source. |
Yeah, so now I think gay marriage should totally be legal, and let's also fight against the other injustices that gay people face. And I've found that there are strong arguments which say that the bible actually supports gay marriage- I honestly don't know if that's right or not, so I will err on the side of being too permissive, and let gay Christians sort it out with God.
I still have a long way to go. Yes, my views have totally changed, but it's because of what I've read online. I should really be talking to gay people in real life about this stuff- you know, my real friends, not internet people. And I'm trying to do that- for the past few months I've been going to meetings of the LGBT student group at my university, and I'm really happy about that.
And I still have some questions I need to face. Yes, I accept gay people, but wouldn't it be BETTER if they were straight? Am I treating this like a problem that I wish would go away? Or is this the reality of how God created them, and should be celebrated and valued? And if it's normal to be gay, then I should support the inclusion of more gay characters on tv, right? And what does this mean for what we teach kids- should we talk about crushes and fairy tales in a way that assumes the kids are all straight, or should we teach that both gay and straight (and anything in between) are normal?
I don't know the answers. I'm still learning.
But this is what we need, on all sides of this issue: A willingness to listen, to tell our stories, to admit we were wrong. I had (and still have) a lot of incorrect assumptions about gay people, and there are also a lot of incorrect assumptions about Christians surrounding this issue. (It's just NOT TRUE that opposing the legalization of gay marriage means you hate gay people, okay? I understand that it's harmful and I understand why it comes across as hate, but I used to believe the same thing, and hate was not my motivation.)
Don't judge. That goes for people on all sides of this.
---------------------
This post is part of Gays and Christians: A Synchroblog for Sanity, hosted by Justin Lee. Let's have some saner conversations about this.
Blogaround
1. Sufferin' Until Suffrage Did you know women used to be not allowed to vote? Wow, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
2. What Single People Wish Married People Knew (posted December 2011) Wow, amen to this entire thing. "In the very thick book of popular theology that is not actually in the Bible, a book I like to call 'First Assumptions', we have this formula: 'Not letting go = being single. Letting go = being married.'" Yes, I have heard this SO MANY TIMES- just be content and pretend you don't want a husband- it's a clever trick to get God to give you a husband.
3. Heartbeat: My Involuntary Miscarriage and 'Voluntary Abortion' in Ohio (posted November 1) It's stories like this that make me think the government should not be the one to restrict abortion- bureaucracy dominates health and common sense.
4. Is God's Nature "Father" and not "Mother"? (posted October 27) "To find it insulting to God, or blasphemous, to think of God as having a mother's nature as well as a father's, smells of misogyny. Why should the Motherhood of God be blasphemous, unless there is something unholy about motherhood/womanhood?"
5. When you say to me pro-life (posted November 5) Beautiful and moving. About what "pro-life" SHOULD mean, as it applies to all parts of one's life, and the way one treats all people.
6. “Biblical Womanhood” and the illusion of clarity: a response to Kathy Keller (posted November 7) "It will not do to tell a woman that she is forbidden from preaching the gospel from a pulpit, and when she asks why, to simply tell her it's because of 'biblical womanhood.'" In this post, Rachel Held Evans responds to her critics and argues there is no straightforward, blindingly obvious way to interpret the bible.
7. Sign language that African Americans use is different from that of whites (posted September 2012)
8. Goodbye, Christian America; Hello, True Christianity (posted November 6) "There was a time when Pastor Curry might have worried about things like posting the Ten Commandments in courtrooms, but today he's too busy changing the city of Tacoma and world." Amen to this whole article.
9. Why Boys Shouldn't Play Football with Girls (posted November 9) I was completely shocked that this kind of sexism exists and calls itself "Christian." Men are supposed to protect women by not allowing them to use their abilities and do what makes them happy? GTFO.
10. Emotional Purity: When You Use Up All Your Love (posted August 2012) "I would be terrified to get too close to my boyfriend because, again, until we either got married or broke up, I would have no way to know if I was sinning by letting him into my heart or not." This post challenges the idea of "emotional purity" and the risk of "giving away part of your heart" (which I totally used to believe) and takes it to its very screwed-up logical conclusions.
What's going on on your blog this week? :)
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Okay, "turn the other cheek" makes no sense
He's my God, but he says some pretty weird things sometimes. Today we'll see what Jesus has to say about divorce, oaths, defending oneself, and loving one's enemies. Read it here: Matthew 5:31-48.
Divorce
I'm kind of totally unqualified to write about divorce, so I will refer you to this blog post which is the best thing I've ever read about a biblical outlook on divorce.
And in this passage, Jesus says that divorce is only allowed in the case of "marital unfaithfulness". There are probably other legitimate reasons for divorce (like abuse) but Jesus' point is that it HAS TO BE really serious.
But I don't get this bit about "whoever marries the divorced woman commits adultery". Because God thinks she's still married to her ex-husband? God has to wake up to reality.
Seriously though, what's with that?
Oaths
Jesus overturns the command about keeping one's oaths by saying "do not swear at all." In other words, you should be a trustworthy person all the time- it shouldn't be necessary to make some huge special oaths to show people you REALLY MEAN IT.
He says "do not swear at all" but let's take that as a hyperbole. Sometimes for legal reasons there are oaths/contracts/whatever. That's fine.
"And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black." Wow that's interesting, why did he say white and black instead of all the other hair colors? Oh, maybe because THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD has black hair. Jesus isn't talking to a bunch of white Americans.
"An eye for an eye"
Okay this is the part where Jesus gets some really bizarre ideas. "Do not resist an evil person." He tells us that we're NOT supposed to think in terms of "an eye for an eye" but instead let people take advantage of us. He gives three examples: "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles."
(The "one mile"/"two miles" thing is apparently referring to how a Roman soldier could legally force a Jew to carry his soldier's pack for one mile.)
In other words, if someone hurts you, don't defend yourself. Instead, allow them to hurt you a second time.
OKAY, THAT MAKES NO SENSE. Are we all in agreement that this makes no sense? Just LET PEOPLE take advantage of you?
Some possible answers to this nonsense:
1. Jesus did that.
Ah, yes, we can point to Jesus' death and how he let it happen, he let them insult him, beat him up, crucify him. He didn't defend himself. Indeed. But that was just one time. (Okay, it was the most important event in the history of the world, but bear with me here.)
In general, Jesus DIDN'T let people walk all over him. He had some strong and controversial opinions, and he wasn't afraid to say so. He called the Pharisees out for being hypocrites, many times. When they tried to ask him trick questions and make him look bad, he didn't fall for it. When they accused him of hanging out with "sinners", he had a few things to say about that.
Even in his arrest, trial, and crucifixion, he was really the one in control. It was all part of the plan. Jesus did NOT let people push him around. He knew what his mission was, and he did it.
So when Jesus submitted to unjust treatment, it was because it served a purpose. In the case of other leaders who advocated civil disobedience instead of violence, like Martin Luther King Jr. or Gandhi, it also served a purpose. They let people mistreat them in order to prove a point, in order to send a message. It was part of a strategy to advance justice.
2. Jesus is only talking about revenge here, not justice.
Perhaps he's saying it's not worth it to get into little fights all the time. It's not worth it to try and get revenge on someone. That just escalates the situation.
Don't take revenge into your own hands. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't do ANYTHING to address the problem. Talk to the authorities, go through the proper channels, whatever.
So if someone is mistreating you, you don't have to fight back every time. On a small scale. But that doesn't mean we mustn't fight against oppressive systems and widespread injustice. That doesn't mean we should never confront an evil person and get them put in jail.
But here's the thing...
Yes, that all makes sense, about a difference between revenge and justice, about fighting back against every little offense vs working to change an unjust system. That's great. But then I read the passage again and that's not what Jesus says. He doesn't say anything at all about "a difference between revenge and justice." He just talks about submitting and letting people walk all over you.
So I don't know what to do with this passage. When I extract some of the ideas, I can come to conclusions that sound good and profound, but that's not what Jesus said.
When you read this, it sounds shocking and radical, and I think it's meant to sound that way. But then if you question and rationalize and come to a point where it kind of makes sense- "oh, he's ACTUALLY saying ..."- then it sounds reasonable and not shocking. If he actually meant the reasonable thing, why did he say this totally ridiculous thing?
Basically, if I come up with an answer and say "oh, that makes sense" then I must have missed the point of the passage. To be honest, the only thing I can think of to make sense of this is to obey it and see what happens.
So... I guess I'll... do that, then.
Moving along:
Love your enemies
Jesus tells us to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." He gives 2 reasons for this: First of all, God does it. God gives everyone sun and rain, regardless of whether they're good people. Second, if you only love those who love you, well, any loser can do that. That's easy. You gotta go above and beyond, and love your enemies.
This is definitely hard- wishing for good things for those who mistreat you. Forgiving them, instead of raging about it in your head. It's hard, but at least I understand it and agree with it, unlike that "turn the other cheek" stuff.
"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
This whole passage (as well as last week's) has been about Jesus' very high standards. This last line basically sums it up- Be perfect, like God.
It's an impossible standard, no question. This is what we should aim for, but obviously we're not perfect, so thank God for his mercy. A lot of people read this and feel guilty about not being perfect- I don't think Jesus just wants to make us feel terrible, I think he is showing that nobody can truly follow the law (and the meaning behind the law), so we need God's mercy.
Summary/ take-home message:
Jesus and his high standards. He says that divorce is a lot more serious than most people think, taking oaths shouldn't be a thing because you should just ALWAYS be trustworthy, and then this bizarre advice about turning the other cheek and loving your enemies.
The reason for this high standard is revealed at the end: We are following God's example.
-------------------------
This post is part of a series on the gospel of Matthew.
Previous post: In which Jesus tells you to cut off your hand (Matthew 5:21-30)
Next post: Jesus' Guide to Getting Rewards for Your Good Deeds (Matthew 6:1-18)
Click here to go to the beginning of the series.
Divorce
I'm kind of totally unqualified to write about divorce, so I will refer you to this blog post which is the best thing I've ever read about a biblical outlook on divorce.
And in this passage, Jesus says that divorce is only allowed in the case of "marital unfaithfulness". There are probably other legitimate reasons for divorce (like abuse) but Jesus' point is that it HAS TO BE really serious.
But I don't get this bit about "whoever marries the divorced woman commits adultery". Because God thinks she's still married to her ex-husband? God has to wake up to reality.
Seriously though, what's with that?
Oaths
Jesus overturns the command about keeping one's oaths by saying "do not swear at all." In other words, you should be a trustworthy person all the time- it shouldn't be necessary to make some huge special oaths to show people you REALLY MEAN IT.
 |
| Image source. |
"And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black." Wow that's interesting, why did he say white and black instead of all the other hair colors? Oh, maybe because THE MAJORITY OF THE WORLD has black hair. Jesus isn't talking to a bunch of white Americans.
"An eye for an eye"
Okay this is the part where Jesus gets some really bizarre ideas. "Do not resist an evil person." He tells us that we're NOT supposed to think in terms of "an eye for an eye" but instead let people take advantage of us. He gives three examples: "If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles."
(The "one mile"/"two miles" thing is apparently referring to how a Roman soldier could legally force a Jew to carry his soldier's pack for one mile.)
In other words, if someone hurts you, don't defend yourself. Instead, allow them to hurt you a second time.
OKAY, THAT MAKES NO SENSE. Are we all in agreement that this makes no sense? Just LET PEOPLE take advantage of you?
Some possible answers to this nonsense:
1. Jesus did that.
Ah, yes, we can point to Jesus' death and how he let it happen, he let them insult him, beat him up, crucify him. He didn't defend himself. Indeed. But that was just one time. (Okay, it was the most important event in the history of the world, but bear with me here.)
In general, Jesus DIDN'T let people walk all over him. He had some strong and controversial opinions, and he wasn't afraid to say so. He called the Pharisees out for being hypocrites, many times. When they tried to ask him trick questions and make him look bad, he didn't fall for it. When they accused him of hanging out with "sinners", he had a few things to say about that.
Even in his arrest, trial, and crucifixion, he was really the one in control. It was all part of the plan. Jesus did NOT let people push him around. He knew what his mission was, and he did it.
So when Jesus submitted to unjust treatment, it was because it served a purpose. In the case of other leaders who advocated civil disobedience instead of violence, like Martin Luther King Jr. or Gandhi, it also served a purpose. They let people mistreat them in order to prove a point, in order to send a message. It was part of a strategy to advance justice.
2. Jesus is only talking about revenge here, not justice.
Perhaps he's saying it's not worth it to get into little fights all the time. It's not worth it to try and get revenge on someone. That just escalates the situation.
Don't take revenge into your own hands. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't do ANYTHING to address the problem. Talk to the authorities, go through the proper channels, whatever.
So if someone is mistreating you, you don't have to fight back every time. On a small scale. But that doesn't mean we mustn't fight against oppressive systems and widespread injustice. That doesn't mean we should never confront an evil person and get them put in jail.
But here's the thing...
Yes, that all makes sense, about a difference between revenge and justice, about fighting back against every little offense vs working to change an unjust system. That's great. But then I read the passage again and that's not what Jesus says. He doesn't say anything at all about "a difference between revenge and justice." He just talks about submitting and letting people walk all over you.
So I don't know what to do with this passage. When I extract some of the ideas, I can come to conclusions that sound good and profound, but that's not what Jesus said.
When you read this, it sounds shocking and radical, and I think it's meant to sound that way. But then if you question and rationalize and come to a point where it kind of makes sense- "oh, he's ACTUALLY saying ..."- then it sounds reasonable and not shocking. If he actually meant the reasonable thing, why did he say this totally ridiculous thing?
Basically, if I come up with an answer and say "oh, that makes sense" then I must have missed the point of the passage. To be honest, the only thing I can think of to make sense of this is to obey it and see what happens.
So... I guess I'll... do that, then.
Moving along:
Love your enemies
Jesus tells us to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." He gives 2 reasons for this: First of all, God does it. God gives everyone sun and rain, regardless of whether they're good people. Second, if you only love those who love you, well, any loser can do that. That's easy. You gotta go above and beyond, and love your enemies.
This is definitely hard- wishing for good things for those who mistreat you. Forgiving them, instead of raging about it in your head. It's hard, but at least I understand it and agree with it, unlike that "turn the other cheek" stuff.
"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
This whole passage (as well as last week's) has been about Jesus' very high standards. This last line basically sums it up- Be perfect, like God.
It's an impossible standard, no question. This is what we should aim for, but obviously we're not perfect, so thank God for his mercy. A lot of people read this and feel guilty about not being perfect- I don't think Jesus just wants to make us feel terrible, I think he is showing that nobody can truly follow the law (and the meaning behind the law), so we need God's mercy.
Summary/ take-home message:
Jesus and his high standards. He says that divorce is a lot more serious than most people think, taking oaths shouldn't be a thing because you should just ALWAYS be trustworthy, and then this bizarre advice about turning the other cheek and loving your enemies.
The reason for this high standard is revealed at the end: We are following God's example.
-------------------------
This post is part of a series on the gospel of Matthew.
Previous post: In which Jesus tells you to cut off your hand (Matthew 5:21-30)
Next post: Jesus' Guide to Getting Rewards for Your Good Deeds (Matthew 6:1-18)
Click here to go to the beginning of the series.
Friday, November 9, 2012
5 things my testimony does NOT mean
In my previous post, I told the story of how God rescued me. I would now like to present 5 wrong interpretations of my story.
1. It does NOT mean that dating is bad.
I believed this one for a while- that dating was born from an addiction, a desperate emotional need to attach your life to someone who would surely be harmful to you (because, like I said, I believed all guys were horrible and untrustworthy and they only want sex- but dear goodness, they're so irresistably cute).
I remember feeling incredibly concerned for my friends who were dating- they were in such danger! Dating means that sometime within the next few months, your life will burn to the ground. Because I couldn't imagine that breaking up could mean anything other than what it had meant for me... hopelessness, my life is ruined, how can I live without him... Dude, it required a MIRACLE FROM GOD to help me get over it.
Yeah... dating is not like that for other people. People can totally have healthy relationships. Overall, dating is a good thing.
2. It does NOT mean that people need to have their heart torn out in order to find God.
I dedicated my life to God as a last resort. And I've heard other stories of people who found God when they hit rock bottom. So, I used to think that what my non-Christian friends needed was a bunch of terrible things to happen to them- then they'd find Jesus and they'd be much better off.
But of course, some red flags popped up- I want my friends to be horribly unhappy and heartbroken?
First of all, that's terrible, for me to wish that on people. Second, people come to God in other ways besides the exact way I came to God. So instead of wishing/praying for bad things to happen so my friends realize they need God, I pray that they'll be happy and successful, and also realize they need God.
3. It does NOT mean that if someone wasn't rescued in a week like I was, they're not praying hard enough.
The entire point of my story is God's mercy- something I don't deserve. If I said "just do this, pray this, and God has to rescue you", then I'm trying to control God, trying to cause a specific output. That doesn't really fit with the idea of mercy.
Following God doesn't mean he magically gets you out of all bad situations (though he TOTALLY DID in this case).
4. It does NOT mean you have to believe me.
I could say "Look! This is undeniable evidence that God exists!" but I know that everyone has very complex reasons for believing what they believe, and they're not going to completely change their beliefs just because of one story.
Actually, there was a period of time when I didn't even believe it. The strongest doubts I've ever had concerning God's existence occurred a month after he rescued me (and I hope to blog about that sometime- it's a good story). In the end, God helped me overcome my doubts- and maybe the reason he rescued me in such a sudden, dramatic way was he knew that would be the evidence I needed to finally stop doubting.
Yes, my story is completely true. God rescued me. God broke me out of a cycle of being boy-crazy and hopeless, and I couldn't save myself. That's just the freakin' truth. But I have to admit I understand if you don't believe me.
5. It does NOT mean that's all God does.
Yes, God turned my entire life around in 1 week, but that was just the beginning. During the months and years since then, he has done so much more- helping me deal with temptation, doubt, anger, jealousy, fear, racism, selfishness... inspiring me to go to China, which resulted in me deciding that I absolutely need to learn Chinese...
So much has happened since God rescued me. In fact, the amount that God has changed my life in the past four and a half years is greater than the amount that he changed my life in that one week. No question.
I believe in a God who's with me all the time, not just in those huge important milestones of my life.
In summary, I know this is true because it happened to me. I know God rescued me. But I can't generalize that to everyone- I can't say dating always works out the way it did for me. I can't say God's mercy always works the exact way it did for me. Of course it won't work the way I predict it- he's God, not a while loop. He does his own thing.
But I can conclude that God is alive and active in the world, and his power is very real and available, and he hears prayers and rescues people. Beyond that, I can't predict any specifics. But I trust him.
1. It does NOT mean that dating is bad.
I believed this one for a while- that dating was born from an addiction, a desperate emotional need to attach your life to someone who would surely be harmful to you (because, like I said, I believed all guys were horrible and untrustworthy and they only want sex- but dear goodness, they're so irresistably cute).
I remember feeling incredibly concerned for my friends who were dating- they were in such danger! Dating means that sometime within the next few months, your life will burn to the ground. Because I couldn't imagine that breaking up could mean anything other than what it had meant for me... hopelessness, my life is ruined, how can I live without him... Dude, it required a MIRACLE FROM GOD to help me get over it.
Yeah... dating is not like that for other people. People can totally have healthy relationships. Overall, dating is a good thing.
2. It does NOT mean that people need to have their heart torn out in order to find God.
I dedicated my life to God as a last resort. And I've heard other stories of people who found God when they hit rock bottom. So, I used to think that what my non-Christian friends needed was a bunch of terrible things to happen to them- then they'd find Jesus and they'd be much better off.
But of course, some red flags popped up- I want my friends to be horribly unhappy and heartbroken?
First of all, that's terrible, for me to wish that on people. Second, people come to God in other ways besides the exact way I came to God. So instead of wishing/praying for bad things to happen so my friends realize they need God, I pray that they'll be happy and successful, and also realize they need God.
3. It does NOT mean that if someone wasn't rescued in a week like I was, they're not praying hard enough.
The entire point of my story is God's mercy- something I don't deserve. If I said "just do this, pray this, and God has to rescue you", then I'm trying to control God, trying to cause a specific output. That doesn't really fit with the idea of mercy.
Following God doesn't mean he magically gets you out of all bad situations (though he TOTALLY DID in this case).
4. It does NOT mean you have to believe me.
I could say "Look! This is undeniable evidence that God exists!" but I know that everyone has very complex reasons for believing what they believe, and they're not going to completely change their beliefs just because of one story.
Actually, there was a period of time when I didn't even believe it. The strongest doubts I've ever had concerning God's existence occurred a month after he rescued me (and I hope to blog about that sometime- it's a good story). In the end, God helped me overcome my doubts- and maybe the reason he rescued me in such a sudden, dramatic way was he knew that would be the evidence I needed to finally stop doubting.
Yes, my story is completely true. God rescued me. God broke me out of a cycle of being boy-crazy and hopeless, and I couldn't save myself. That's just the freakin' truth. But I have to admit I understand if you don't believe me.
5. It does NOT mean that's all God does.
Yes, God turned my entire life around in 1 week, but that was just the beginning. During the months and years since then, he has done so much more- helping me deal with temptation, doubt, anger, jealousy, fear, racism, selfishness... inspiring me to go to China, which resulted in me deciding that I absolutely need to learn Chinese...
So much has happened since God rescued me. In fact, the amount that God has changed my life in the past four and a half years is greater than the amount that he changed my life in that one week. No question.
I believe in a God who's with me all the time, not just in those huge important milestones of my life.
 |
| Image source. |
In summary, I know this is true because it happened to me. I know God rescued me. But I can't generalize that to everyone- I can't say dating always works out the way it did for me. I can't say God's mercy always works the exact way it did for me. Of course it won't work the way I predict it- he's God, not a while loop. He does his own thing.
But I can conclude that God is alive and active in the world, and his power is very real and available, and he hears prayers and rescues people. Beyond that, I can't predict any specifics. But I trust him.
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
That Time Jesus Rescued Me
I felt like my heart was gone.
I believed- deeply believed- that life was hopeless, and all I can do is try not to think too hard about it, try to distract myself with other things, because if I face reality, I have no logical argument against crying all the time.
This was 4 and a half years ago, right after the guy I was dating broke up with me. And I had been obsessed with boys and dating for so long, I didn't know how to exist without longing for it, hurting from it, crying over it.
The obsession started 2 years before that. There was a different guy I liked, and the feelings were unlike anything I'd felt before. (Every teenager thinks their love is so pure and unique...) So I decided to chase it with everything that I had. It made me happy to think about this guy- so I thought about him all the time. I wanted him to be in every part of my life. I wished I could spend all my time with him.
It was desire and obsession, and I called it "love". That's ridiculous- love is about putting someone else above yourself. But I didn't care what he wanted- I just wanted him to be with me.
He was definitely the most important thing in my life. Weird, because we were never actually dating. But I learned from movies that being in love is so pure and special and infinitely valuable- surely it could not be stopped by some small issue such as him having no idea I liked him.
But time went on, and it became harder and harder for me to avoid facing the truth. My mind was divided, hiding from itself- one part of me knew that me and this boy would never be together, and one part of me would be destroyed if she ever found that out.
And finally, it all broke. Suddenly everything was sad. He had been all I ever thought about- now every thought reminded me that my heart was broken.
I didn't understand. I became so angry. Surely this happened because guys are all heartless. Guys just want sex- they can't feel love and be enslaved by it, like I was. (And all the fear-based Christian teaching on "purity" was the only filter I had with which to understand this at the time...)
But somehow, God was there, and I cried out to him as I tried to make sense of things. I just wanted to not think anymore. Reading the bible was the only thing that helped me.
I felt trapped. I clearly could not let this ever happen again- clearly I could never like another guy. But I was overflowing with emotions and obsession. I could either shut it all up, hold it in, and go crazy, or express my feelings toward some terrible untrustworthy guy (because of course all guys are) and be happy for a little bit, until he abandoned me and the hopelessness would start all over.
So I started dating another guy. Because I was going to explode if I didn't. I dated him because I desperately needed him- and that's no way to treat someone. I was in no position to actually care about him. I didn't want him to be happy- I wanted him to be WITH ME.
And he broke up with me, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post. And I was hopeless. Because I NEEDED a perfect husband in order to be happy, but all guys are horrible and untrustworthy, and everyone warned me that there is no "perfect marriage". So I can never be happy.
And I really believed that.
I asked God how much longer I'd have to endure being single (and hopeless, obviously) before I could FINALLY get married and my life would start. How long would I be able to hold out- I needed a guy SO MUCH. Maybe 2 years? HOW LONG, GOD?
In the weeks following the break-up, sometimes I felt okay. People told me God had a plan for my life, and sometimes I thought it was true. But sometimes I wondered, what if God's plan is something stupid? In the bible, I NEVER found a guarantee that God would give me a husband. What if God didn't understand what I wanted and needed? What if God forgot about me? How could I trust him?
And then, a month after the break-up, I decided to give my life to God. To trust him, because logically, if he loves me and he's all-powerful, he can run my life way better than I can. I decided that if he wanted me to be single forever, then logically that must be the best possible plan, because he's God. So I decided no matter what the cost, I would give my life to God.
Just heal me. I don't care anymore. Just fix my heart, I don't care about the cost.
I did it as a last resort. I reasoned that there was no way God could screw up my life any worse than it already was.
What happened next? The writer of Psalm 18 says it way better than I could:
"The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him-
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.
He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.
The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O Lord,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me."
I suddenly realized how all this time, I had loved boys more than I had loved God. I had chased boys more than I chased God. The first of the 10 commandments says "You shall have no gods before me" and Jesus said the greatest commandment is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind."
And I was a Christian- I should have known all of that! But here I was, with all my obsessions and selfishness, breaking the commandments that are right at the top of the list.
I had never realized what sin was before this.
And I had never realized what mercy was before this. All this time, I had been so screwed up- using my boyfriend, even asking God to help me chase boys... but when I couldn't stop crying and I needed God's help, he was there. He helped me. And all that time, he had kept me safe. That's mercy.
And somehow, it changed my life.
It's hard to describe. I say I "realized" that God is all I need and that God is good to me... but it was a change that ran far far deeper than the intellectual level. A change that only God Almighty himself could bring about. It wasn't like I changed my mind about something- no, it was a change that went to the very core of who I was.
Before, I believed- truly believed- that without a guy in my life, everything was terrible and hopeless.
But after God changed my life, now I believe- truly believe- that God is all I need.
This all happened within a week after I prayed that God would fix my life, no matter the cost. Yes, I definitely believe Jesus rescued me, and we could call it a miracle if I wasn't so picky about the definition of "miracle". He broke me out of that cycle of hopelessness. He saved me when I couldn't save myself.
And all my problems were still there- seeing a kiss in a movie still screamed to my heart that my life was hopeless- but now I KNEW what the truth was: That God is all I need, and I will always have him, and he will always love me, and whatever feelings I get from watching a movie are just silly things that come and go and affect me emotionally- they're not the TRUTH.
Jesus rescued me. Seriously. He completely changed my life during that one week, four and half years ago, and he's been completely changing my life slowly ever since then.
---------------------
Update: I've written 2 follow-up posts:
5 things my testimony does not mean
I didn't forget the happy ending
I believed- deeply believed- that life was hopeless, and all I can do is try not to think too hard about it, try to distract myself with other things, because if I face reality, I have no logical argument against crying all the time.
This was 4 and a half years ago, right after the guy I was dating broke up with me. And I had been obsessed with boys and dating for so long, I didn't know how to exist without longing for it, hurting from it, crying over it.
The obsession started 2 years before that. There was a different guy I liked, and the feelings were unlike anything I'd felt before. (Every teenager thinks their love is so pure and unique...) So I decided to chase it with everything that I had. It made me happy to think about this guy- so I thought about him all the time. I wanted him to be in every part of my life. I wished I could spend all my time with him.
It was desire and obsession, and I called it "love". That's ridiculous- love is about putting someone else above yourself. But I didn't care what he wanted- I just wanted him to be with me.
He was definitely the most important thing in my life. Weird, because we were never actually dating. But I learned from movies that being in love is so pure and special and infinitely valuable- surely it could not be stopped by some small issue such as him having no idea I liked him.
But time went on, and it became harder and harder for me to avoid facing the truth. My mind was divided, hiding from itself- one part of me knew that me and this boy would never be together, and one part of me would be destroyed if she ever found that out.
 |
| Since this part of the story is sad, have a picture of a cute bunny. Image source. |
And finally, it all broke. Suddenly everything was sad. He had been all I ever thought about- now every thought reminded me that my heart was broken.
I didn't understand. I became so angry. Surely this happened because guys are all heartless. Guys just want sex- they can't feel love and be enslaved by it, like I was. (And all the fear-based Christian teaching on "purity" was the only filter I had with which to understand this at the time...)
But somehow, God was there, and I cried out to him as I tried to make sense of things. I just wanted to not think anymore. Reading the bible was the only thing that helped me.
I felt trapped. I clearly could not let this ever happen again- clearly I could never like another guy. But I was overflowing with emotions and obsession. I could either shut it all up, hold it in, and go crazy, or express my feelings toward some terrible untrustworthy guy (because of course all guys are) and be happy for a little bit, until he abandoned me and the hopelessness would start all over.
So I started dating another guy. Because I was going to explode if I didn't. I dated him because I desperately needed him- and that's no way to treat someone. I was in no position to actually care about him. I didn't want him to be happy- I wanted him to be WITH ME.
And he broke up with me, as I mentioned at the beginning of this post. And I was hopeless. Because I NEEDED a perfect husband in order to be happy, but all guys are horrible and untrustworthy, and everyone warned me that there is no "perfect marriage". So I can never be happy.
And I really believed that.
I asked God how much longer I'd have to endure being single (and hopeless, obviously) before I could FINALLY get married and my life would start. How long would I be able to hold out- I needed a guy SO MUCH. Maybe 2 years? HOW LONG, GOD?
In the weeks following the break-up, sometimes I felt okay. People told me God had a plan for my life, and sometimes I thought it was true. But sometimes I wondered, what if God's plan is something stupid? In the bible, I NEVER found a guarantee that God would give me a husband. What if God didn't understand what I wanted and needed? What if God forgot about me? How could I trust him?
And then, a month after the break-up, I decided to give my life to God. To trust him, because logically, if he loves me and he's all-powerful, he can run my life way better than I can. I decided that if he wanted me to be single forever, then logically that must be the best possible plan, because he's God. So I decided no matter what the cost, I would give my life to God.
Just heal me. I don't care anymore. Just fix my heart, I don't care about the cost.
I did it as a last resort. I reasoned that there was no way God could screw up my life any worse than it already was.
What happened next? The writer of Psalm 18 says it way better than I could:
"The earth trembled and quaked,
and the foundations of the mountains shook;
they trembled because he was angry.
Smoke rose from his nostrils;
consuming fire came from his mouth,
burning coals blazed out of it.
He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering, his canopy around him-
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded.
He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies,
great bolts of lightning and routed them.
The valleys of the sea were exposed
and the foundations of the earth laid bare
at your rebuke, O Lord,
at the blast of breath from your nostrils.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me."
I suddenly realized how all this time, I had loved boys more than I had loved God. I had chased boys more than I chased God. The first of the 10 commandments says "You shall have no gods before me" and Jesus said the greatest commandment is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind."
And I was a Christian- I should have known all of that! But here I was, with all my obsessions and selfishness, breaking the commandments that are right at the top of the list.
I had never realized what sin was before this.
And I had never realized what mercy was before this. All this time, I had been so screwed up- using my boyfriend, even asking God to help me chase boys... but when I couldn't stop crying and I needed God's help, he was there. He helped me. And all that time, he had kept me safe. That's mercy.
And somehow, it changed my life.
It's hard to describe. I say I "realized" that God is all I need and that God is good to me... but it was a change that ran far far deeper than the intellectual level. A change that only God Almighty himself could bring about. It wasn't like I changed my mind about something- no, it was a change that went to the very core of who I was.
Before, I believed- truly believed- that without a guy in my life, everything was terrible and hopeless.
But after God changed my life, now I believe- truly believe- that God is all I need.
This all happened within a week after I prayed that God would fix my life, no matter the cost. Yes, I definitely believe Jesus rescued me, and we could call it a miracle if I wasn't so picky about the definition of "miracle". He broke me out of that cycle of hopelessness. He saved me when I couldn't save myself.
And all my problems were still there- seeing a kiss in a movie still screamed to my heart that my life was hopeless- but now I KNEW what the truth was: That God is all I need, and I will always have him, and he will always love me, and whatever feelings I get from watching a movie are just silly things that come and go and affect me emotionally- they're not the TRUTH.
Jesus rescued me. Seriously. He completely changed my life during that one week, four and half years ago, and he's been completely changing my life slowly ever since then.
---------------------
Update: I've written 2 follow-up posts:
5 things my testimony does not mean
I didn't forget the happy ending
Monday, November 5, 2012
Blogaround
1. The Realities of Voting (posted October 25) "We convince ourselves that our one vote matters, and if we win, then by God, we are right and superior and know better than all of you losers, who are so obviously out of God’s will in how you voted."
2. Traditional Marriage (posted October 31) Here's Sudden Clarity Clarence's take.
3. 5th Edition of the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival: Having It All (posted October 31)
4. I've Learned the Secret to Dating! (posted November 1) Amen to this.
5. QAMA: The Calculator That Makes You Better At Math (posted July 9, 2012) Nice!
6. Why the "Rape Thing" Haunts Republicans: Because sometimes they aren't as hypocritical as voters (posted November 1)
7. A Year of Biblical Womanhood (review) (posted October 30) "Agreed, no one is following all the commandments literally. People pick and choose. But here's the deal: They don't realize they are picking and choosing. And even if you argue with these people, pointing out how they are picking and choosing, they still can't see it."
8. ‘If conservatives really believe in the evil of abortion, they are morally obligated to embrace a policy that stands to limit it so impressively’ (posted October 31)
9. An Open Letter to Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family, From a Gay Evangelical (posted November 2) "Over time, I prayed more and more fervently for God's intervention. It got to the point that I was crying myself to sleep, night after night, begging for God to take away my same-sex attractions and give me opposite-sex ones."
10. Easily solve "spot the difference" pictures within seconds (posted 2007)
11. Paying with Post It Notes (posted November 3) "I am paying you back for all the bad things I have done."
12. Right Mom/ Left Mom: How should Christians respond to the debate over legalizing gay marriage? (posted November 2) This video does a good job of explaining why Christians should support legalizing same-sex marriage. (However, the title is misleading- it totally DOESN'T present 2 points of view.)
2. Traditional Marriage (posted October 31) Here's Sudden Clarity Clarence's take.
3. 5th Edition of the Feminist Odyssey Blog Carnival: Having It All (posted October 31)
4. I've Learned the Secret to Dating! (posted November 1) Amen to this.
5. QAMA: The Calculator That Makes You Better At Math (posted July 9, 2012) Nice!
6. Why the "Rape Thing" Haunts Republicans: Because sometimes they aren't as hypocritical as voters (posted November 1)
7. A Year of Biblical Womanhood (review) (posted October 30) "Agreed, no one is following all the commandments literally. People pick and choose. But here's the deal: They don't realize they are picking and choosing. And even if you argue with these people, pointing out how they are picking and choosing, they still can't see it."
8. ‘If conservatives really believe in the evil of abortion, they are morally obligated to embrace a policy that stands to limit it so impressively’ (posted October 31)
9. An Open Letter to Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family, From a Gay Evangelical (posted November 2) "Over time, I prayed more and more fervently for God's intervention. It got to the point that I was crying myself to sleep, night after night, begging for God to take away my same-sex attractions and give me opposite-sex ones."
10. Easily solve "spot the difference" pictures within seconds (posted 2007)
11. Paying with Post It Notes (posted November 3) "I am paying you back for all the bad things I have done."
12. Right Mom/ Left Mom: How should Christians respond to the debate over legalizing gay marriage? (posted November 2) This video does a good job of explaining why Christians should support legalizing same-sex marriage. (However, the title is misleading- it totally DOESN'T present 2 points of view.)
Saturday, November 3, 2012
In which Jesus tells you to cut off your hand
I've heard Matthew 5:21-30 explained as "thinking about doing something bad is AS BAD as actually doing it." Umm, no. Though Jesus does compare anger with murder, and lust with adultery.
Anger
Jesus starts out by referencing the commandment against murder. So far so good, everyone can agree murder is wrong.
But then he says that anyone who "is angry with his brother" will also be judged/punished.
He says it 3 different ways:
And then there's this scenario about if you're at the altar, trying to "offer your gift" and you remember you had a fight with someone, leave your stuff and go make up with them. I don't think this is for us to follow literally- if, in the middle of church, you suddenly remember you had a fight with someone, I don't think you have to get up and leave immediately. It can wait a half hour, yes?
BUT Jesus' point here is that God is much more concerned with how we treat other people than whether we're doing the proper religious actions. If you're generally angry and rude to other people, then it doesn't matter how much you go to church- God's not going to be happy with how you're behaving.
But let's back up for a second and ask...
What does Jesus mean by "angry"?
According to the footnote, some manuscripts say "angry with his brother without cause" rather than just "angry with his brother." Surely anger is just an emotion- it's totally normal to feel anger, and just like with any emotion, you can use it for good or evil.
Right? That's what I've always been taught- that any emotion is fine, you can't control feeling a certain way, but it's what you choose to do with it. Do you obsessively think about how angry you are? Do you write monologues in your head in which you tear down the person you're angry with? See, that's where anger becomes a sin.
At least, that's what I think. Jesus doesn't really address the "what is anger"/"it's normal to feel angry but you choose how you respond" thing here.
Also, what is this bit about reconciling with someone in order to avoid jail?
Jesus says if someone's accusing you and taking you to court, you should try to work it out with them before you actually get to court. And why, Jesus, should we do that? Because if you don't, you might get thrown in jail!
Umm. I was expecting something a little more abstract and religious-sounding, something about spreading the love of God, living in peace, you know... This sounds way too selfish and practical.
I mean, there are practical benefits to not being a jerk. It's not wrong to benefit from doing the right thing.
It also sounds like Jesus is saying you have a lot more control over the situation if you're just one-on-one with your "adversary", trying to work things out, rather than at the mercy of "the system" which is large and impersonal and might not treat you fairly.
Also, notice that Jesus never mentions who's right and who's wrong.
There's no "he started it" or "but I'm allowed to yell at them because I'm right and they're wrong." Nothing in this whole passage even acknowledges the idea that, in a disagreement, someone is "right" and someone is "wrong". Jesus just wants people to be reconciled with each other. That's interesting.
Lust
Just as in the previous section, Jesus starts out by referencing a command his audience knows well: "Do not commit adultery."
Okay, what is "adultery"?
Is it when a married person cheats on their husband/wife? Is it having sex outside of marriage? Dictionary.com defines adultery as "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse". Okay, we'll go with that definition.
But then Jesus says "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Does his audience consist entirely of straight men? Okay I'm going to go ahead and say if I'm lusting for a boy then that falls under this statement too.
So what is lust? If he's comparing it to adultery, then it must be a desire to cheat on one's partner. Right?
Well, let's throw in my belief that God's intention for sex is that it's only within marriage. So I define "lust" as "when you want to have sex with someone you're not supposed to be having sex with." Even if you're single and have no "partner" to cheat on. (And don't give me that mythology about "saving yourself for your future husband". So if he doesn't exist, then ... then what?)
OH ALSO hey did you know that girls lust? Or maybe I'm the only one?
But wait. It can't be bad to just NOTICE some guy is really really hot. You can't control that thought.
Yeah, I agree. So "lust" isn't the same thing as thinking about sex, being attracted to someone, etc. I think it becomes lust when you are objectifying someone- when in your mind you don't respect them as a person because of how hot they are. And when you focus on that forbidden sexual desire rather than trying to ignore it.
So what's this about cutting off our body parts?
This is just silly. Your hand/eye isn't what "causes" you to sin- it really comes from your mind/heart. So cutting off the parts isn't going to help.
Okay first of all, don't take it literally. Don't ACTUALLY cut off your hand. Jesus is saying sometimes you have to take drastic measures to avoid sin- and if that's the case, then that's what you need to do.
STORY TIME!
Long long ago, Perfect Number found this passage really helpful. It was right after she broke up with her ex-boyfriend, and she had been so depressed and worried, thinking her life was hopeless and meaningless if she didn't have a boyfriend/husband, and then God showed up and turned her whole life around and showed her that God is all she needs. (See this blog post for the full story- it's one of the most important events of my life.)
SO ANYWAY, after God changed her life, and she realized she could have a totally awesome happy life while single... sometimes she doubted. When she saw anything romance-related in a movie, when she heard any song vaguely related to relationships, the message she heard was "you'll never ever be happy, your life is meaningless because you're single, and even if you got married, well, all guys are horrible and untrustworthy, so you'll never ever be happy." And she couldn't get it out of her head. (In feminism, we call this a "trigger".) She knew that God is all she needs, but that promise felt like the farthest thing from reality when she saw a kiss on TV.
And she thought, the only way to be free from these lies that my life is meaningless, etc etc, would be to totally avoid seeing/hearing anything romance-related. Oh, but surely that's too extreme. I can't do that. But then she remembered Jesus' words- "if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away." No, no one can tell me this is too extreme. So that's what I did, for a long time- maybe 6 months? Any time I heard a "love song", I either got out of there or immediately put in my earbuds and listened to my iPod instead. I closed my eyes when there was a kiss in a movie. I did not watch movies with a love story (so like, all movies). I even avoided sermons about marriage.
And it worked, it totally worked. A trip to the mall would no longer cause hours of sad, existential crisis as I contemplated whether I'd ever be happy. And after a while I got over it, so those kinds of influences don't affect me anymore, and I no longer have to avoid them.
In summary, if you know of something that will really cut back on the temptation you're facing, but you think "oh, that's too extreme"- well, it's not. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.
So, in this passage, Jesus is saying that thinking about doing something bad is just as bad as actually doing it.
Umm, no. Were you paying attention at all?
First of all, let's talk about this "thinking about doing something bad" bit. When the emotion of anger comes up, or the thought of having sex with someone you shouldn't be having sex with- that's not wrong. Who can control what thoughts pop into their head? But then the big question is what you do with it. Do you think about it more and more, in a way that very much disrespects other people?
Also, let's talk about "just as bad". Okay, no. Jesus says that what's going on in your heart when you're super-angry or lusting is the same sort of thing that is going on in one's heart in the case of murder/adultery, and you'll be judged for that. Can we all agree that being angry is NOT "just as bad as" killing someone? And wanting to cheat on your partner is NOT "just as bad as" actually doing it?
Seriously.
Also, I have heard it said "anger is as bad as murder and lust is as bad as adultery, because it means you WANT to do those things, and it's just the fear of getting caught that's stopping you." Umm, no. When I'm angry, there are a lot of reasons I don't go around killing people, and not many of them are "well I could be arrested." Of course I would never do that. That doesn't mean it's okay to yell at someone. That doesn't mean Jesus is okay with little minor forms of anger/lust.
This passage is NOT about being angry enough to kill someone. It's about ANY amount of hostility, hate, and disrespect you may have toward someone. (Same thing goes for the teaching on lust.)
Summary/ take-home message:
I feel like I'm writing to myself here, because lately I've gotten angry over things that are really not a big deal.
In this section, Jesus is elaborating on what he said last time, about fulfilling the law- he fulfills it by getting to the heart of why these things were even laws in the first place. In the case of these 2 commands- "do not murder" and "do not commit adultery"- he makes them even more strict. Having an attitude of hostility or lust is also wrong.
It's kind of ridiculous. His standard is too high- nobody could follow this! But unfortunately... as I read this, I think, "he's right." Hating someone, objectifying someone- those things are definitely wrong. And I've done that, and everyone's done that.
Stay tuned next week, where we see even more cases where Jesus' standard is high.
-------------------------
This post is part of a series on the gospel of Matthew.
Previous post: Salt and High Standards (Matthew 5:13-20)
Next post: Okay, "turn the other cheek" makes no sense (Matthew 5:31-48)
Click here to go to the beginning of the series.
Anger
Jesus starts out by referencing the commandment against murder. So far so good, everyone can agree murder is wrong.
But then he says that anyone who "is angry with his brother" will also be judged/punished.
He says it 3 different ways:
- Anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment
- Anyone who says to his brother "raca" is answerable to the Sanhedrin
- Anyone who says "you fool" will be in danger of the fire of hell
And then there's this scenario about if you're at the altar, trying to "offer your gift" and you remember you had a fight with someone, leave your stuff and go make up with them. I don't think this is for us to follow literally- if, in the middle of church, you suddenly remember you had a fight with someone, I don't think you have to get up and leave immediately. It can wait a half hour, yes?
BUT Jesus' point here is that God is much more concerned with how we treat other people than whether we're doing the proper religious actions. If you're generally angry and rude to other people, then it doesn't matter how much you go to church- God's not going to be happy with how you're behaving.
But let's back up for a second and ask...
What does Jesus mean by "angry"?
According to the footnote, some manuscripts say "angry with his brother without cause" rather than just "angry with his brother." Surely anger is just an emotion- it's totally normal to feel anger, and just like with any emotion, you can use it for good or evil.
Right? That's what I've always been taught- that any emotion is fine, you can't control feeling a certain way, but it's what you choose to do with it. Do you obsessively think about how angry you are? Do you write monologues in your head in which you tear down the person you're angry with? See, that's where anger becomes a sin.
At least, that's what I think. Jesus doesn't really address the "what is anger"/"it's normal to feel angry but you choose how you respond" thing here.
Also, what is this bit about reconciling with someone in order to avoid jail?
Jesus says if someone's accusing you and taking you to court, you should try to work it out with them before you actually get to court. And why, Jesus, should we do that? Because if you don't, you might get thrown in jail!
 |
| Image source. |
I mean, there are practical benefits to not being a jerk. It's not wrong to benefit from doing the right thing.
It also sounds like Jesus is saying you have a lot more control over the situation if you're just one-on-one with your "adversary", trying to work things out, rather than at the mercy of "the system" which is large and impersonal and might not treat you fairly.
Also, notice that Jesus never mentions who's right and who's wrong.
There's no "he started it" or "but I'm allowed to yell at them because I'm right and they're wrong." Nothing in this whole passage even acknowledges the idea that, in a disagreement, someone is "right" and someone is "wrong". Jesus just wants people to be reconciled with each other. That's interesting.
Lust
Just as in the previous section, Jesus starts out by referencing a command his audience knows well: "Do not commit adultery."
Okay, what is "adultery"?
Is it when a married person cheats on their husband/wife? Is it having sex outside of marriage? Dictionary.com defines adultery as "voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse". Okay, we'll go with that definition.
But then Jesus says "anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Does his audience consist entirely of straight men? Okay I'm going to go ahead and say if I'm lusting for a boy then that falls under this statement too.
So what is lust? If he's comparing it to adultery, then it must be a desire to cheat on one's partner. Right?
Well, let's throw in my belief that God's intention for sex is that it's only within marriage. So I define "lust" as "when you want to have sex with someone you're not supposed to be having sex with." Even if you're single and have no "partner" to cheat on. (And don't give me that mythology about "saving yourself for your future husband". So if he doesn't exist, then ... then what?)
OH ALSO hey did you know that girls lust? Or maybe I'm the only one?
But wait. It can't be bad to just NOTICE some guy is really really hot. You can't control that thought.
Yeah, I agree. So "lust" isn't the same thing as thinking about sex, being attracted to someone, etc. I think it becomes lust when you are objectifying someone- when in your mind you don't respect them as a person because of how hot they are. And when you focus on that forbidden sexual desire rather than trying to ignore it.
So what's this about cutting off our body parts?
This is just silly. Your hand/eye isn't what "causes" you to sin- it really comes from your mind/heart. So cutting off the parts isn't going to help.
Okay first of all, don't take it literally. Don't ACTUALLY cut off your hand. Jesus is saying sometimes you have to take drastic measures to avoid sin- and if that's the case, then that's what you need to do.
STORY TIME!
Long long ago, Perfect Number found this passage really helpful. It was right after she broke up with her ex-boyfriend, and she had been so depressed and worried, thinking her life was hopeless and meaningless if she didn't have a boyfriend/husband, and then God showed up and turned her whole life around and showed her that God is all she needs. (See this blog post for the full story- it's one of the most important events of my life.)
SO ANYWAY, after God changed her life, and she realized she could have a totally awesome happy life while single... sometimes she doubted. When she saw anything romance-related in a movie, when she heard any song vaguely related to relationships, the message she heard was "you'll never ever be happy, your life is meaningless because you're single, and even if you got married, well, all guys are horrible and untrustworthy, so you'll never ever be happy." And she couldn't get it out of her head. (In feminism, we call this a "trigger".) She knew that God is all she needs, but that promise felt like the farthest thing from reality when she saw a kiss on TV.
And she thought, the only way to be free from these lies that my life is meaningless, etc etc, would be to totally avoid seeing/hearing anything romance-related. Oh, but surely that's too extreme. I can't do that. But then she remembered Jesus' words- "if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away." No, no one can tell me this is too extreme. So that's what I did, for a long time- maybe 6 months? Any time I heard a "love song", I either got out of there or immediately put in my earbuds and listened to my iPod instead. I closed my eyes when there was a kiss in a movie. I did not watch movies with a love story (so like, all movies). I even avoided sermons about marriage.
And it worked, it totally worked. A trip to the mall would no longer cause hours of sad, existential crisis as I contemplated whether I'd ever be happy. And after a while I got over it, so those kinds of influences don't affect me anymore, and I no longer have to avoid them.
In summary, if you know of something that will really cut back on the temptation you're facing, but you think "oh, that's too extreme"- well, it's not. If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.
So, in this passage, Jesus is saying that thinking about doing something bad is just as bad as actually doing it.
Umm, no. Were you paying attention at all?
First of all, let's talk about this "thinking about doing something bad" bit. When the emotion of anger comes up, or the thought of having sex with someone you shouldn't be having sex with- that's not wrong. Who can control what thoughts pop into their head? But then the big question is what you do with it. Do you think about it more and more, in a way that very much disrespects other people?
Also, let's talk about "just as bad". Okay, no. Jesus says that what's going on in your heart when you're super-angry or lusting is the same sort of thing that is going on in one's heart in the case of murder/adultery, and you'll be judged for that. Can we all agree that being angry is NOT "just as bad as" killing someone? And wanting to cheat on your partner is NOT "just as bad as" actually doing it?
Seriously.
Also, I have heard it said "anger is as bad as murder and lust is as bad as adultery, because it means you WANT to do those things, and it's just the fear of getting caught that's stopping you." Umm, no. When I'm angry, there are a lot of reasons I don't go around killing people, and not many of them are "well I could be arrested." Of course I would never do that. That doesn't mean it's okay to yell at someone. That doesn't mean Jesus is okay with little minor forms of anger/lust.
This passage is NOT about being angry enough to kill someone. It's about ANY amount of hostility, hate, and disrespect you may have toward someone. (Same thing goes for the teaching on lust.)
Summary/ take-home message:
I feel like I'm writing to myself here, because lately I've gotten angry over things that are really not a big deal.
In this section, Jesus is elaborating on what he said last time, about fulfilling the law- he fulfills it by getting to the heart of why these things were even laws in the first place. In the case of these 2 commands- "do not murder" and "do not commit adultery"- he makes them even more strict. Having an attitude of hostility or lust is also wrong.
It's kind of ridiculous. His standard is too high- nobody could follow this! But unfortunately... as I read this, I think, "he's right." Hating someone, objectifying someone- those things are definitely wrong. And I've done that, and everyone's done that.
Stay tuned next week, where we see even more cases where Jesus' standard is high.
-------------------------
This post is part of a series on the gospel of Matthew.
Previous post: Salt and High Standards (Matthew 5:13-20)
Next post: Okay, "turn the other cheek" makes no sense (Matthew 5:31-48)
Click here to go to the beginning of the series.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Operation Christmas Child: Inefficient, But Good.
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| Image source |
UPDATE [Nov 28, 2018]: My views on this have changed, now I recommend reading these blog posts about Operation Christmas Child:
7 Reasons Not to Participate in Operation Christmas Child
Why You Should NOT Choose Operation Christmas Child
(Below is my original post, from 2012)
--------------------
Christmas is coming up in a few months, and churches are starting to promote Operation Christmas Child- in which you put together a shoebox of toys, and it gets shipped off to some kid somewhere in the world. I have participated before, and I'm totally going to make a box this year. It's fun.
But, as always, I have a few questions...
We'll start with the basics:
What is Operation Christmas Child?
Operation Christmas Child is a program run by Samaritan's Purse, in which members of American churches pick out toys (and other useful items- school supplies, hygiene items, etc) and pack them into shoeboxes, which are then sent to children all over the world. Merry Christmas!
What is Samaritan's Purse?
Samaritan's Purse is a Christian organization whose goal is to help poor people all over the world- with food, medical care, disaster relief, etc- and to share the gospel.
Personally, I really like Samaritan's Purse. I've donated money to them many times. They respond to huge headline-news disasters like earthquakes, they work with refugees, they help communities with agriculture, education, etc in order to become self-sufficient.
How do they decide which kids to give the boxes to?
Don't have an answer for this one. I assume it's the kids in the communities where Samaritan's Purse is already working.
What is the process to get the box from me to the kid?
So, you put together your box and your $7 donation (to cover the shipping), and take it to church if your church is participating, or one of the drop-off locations, during the week of November 12-19. (November 11 and 18 are Sundays, btw.)
Next, according to this page, all the boxes are inspected by volunteers at processing centers. I assume this is so that if you put stupid things in your box instead of fun things, you won't ruin some kid's Christmas. Then they're shipped off to various countries, and distributed to kids there, along with a gospel presentation and a little booklet about Jesus.
Isn't this kind of dumb? So, we're gathering boxes of cheap toys, which were probably made in China, and sending them off to different parts of the world- that seems really inefficient.
Indeed. But the appeal is the personal connection you have with the kid who receives your box. I'm buying these toys and packing them into this box myself, and the decisions I make on what to buy are going to have a real impact on a kid somewhere in the world. Isn't that cool?
Wouldn't it be more helpful to buy toys for the kids locally? Then the kids would be happy, and we're helping the economy of the area where they live.
Yep, that probably would be more helpful. If you have $x to work with, it would be much better to spend it locally in the area you're trying to help, instead of buying a bunch of stuff in the US and shipping it over there. Right?
But I suspect that you're not going to motivate people by just asking them for money. Buying all these toys and packing them into a box is much more involved then just swiping your credit card, and I really think people are more likely to plunk down the 20 bucks (or whatever it adds up to) if they get to pick out all the toys themselves. (Plus, this way children can get involved too- they can help their parents buy the stuff and pack the boxes, even if they don't have any of their own money to give.)
Is that a bad thing? That American Christians are far more likely to help others if it's "fun" for us, rather than inquiring about the best way to help and then trusting and implementing whatever answer we're given?
Is it a bad thing? In some sense, yes, it shows that we're out-of-touch with the needs of the world. But since that's the way it is, Samaritan's Purse is making the best of it. And perhaps Operation Christmas Child can be sort of a "gateway drug"- maybe if you participate in this, you'll be more likely to donate to Samaritan's Purse (or another organization) in the future. And that donation will NOT be going towards something "inefficient". I trust that Samaritan's Purse puts a lot of work into understanding the culture and needs of the people they help.
In fact, if you're so concerned about the inefficiency of Operation Christmas Child, I challenge you to donate $20 to Samaritan's Purse, to use "where most needed", instead.
What I'm putting in my box:
I chose to make a box for a girl, 5-9 years old. Here's what's in it:
- Coloring book, made in USA.
- Crayons, made in USA.
- T-shirt, made in Guatemala.
- Disney princess toy, made in China.
- Snowman stuffed animal, made in China.
- Lego car kit, components made in Denmark, Hungary, Mexico, Austria, Czech Republic. (Someone explain to me how this could possibly be a good business model.)
- Hot Wheels car, made in Malaysia.
- 6 pairs of socks, made in China.
 |
| Here's the final product. Some kid is gonna be so freakin' happy. |
In summary, yeah this is pretty fun. Though it's not the most efficient way to give gifts to kids on the other side of the world, it's still a good thing. Just like I said about fair trade and freerice.com, these things are imperfect programs which are not the magical answer to poverty or whatever. Certainly Operation Christmas Child has its weaknesses, but it's a far better idea than just sitting on my couch and blogging about the world's problems.
And let me just tell you, some little girl is going to have an awesome Christmas.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Stop saying "It's not a religion."
"Are you religious?"
I've always found this to be a tough question to answer- my background is evangelical Christianity, which very much emphasizes that no, this is not a religion. "Religion" is about following rules to earn God's approval, and that's not what we believe. We believe God loved us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), and there is no way we could have ever earned that.
So, how should I answer when asked "Are you religious?"
Because, you know, I wouldn't want to be confused with those "religious people" who just try to follow rules and don't actually care about God. I wouldn't want to be confused with those "Christians" who only go to church on Christmas and don't even own a bible. I wouldn't want to be confused with those people who say God just loves everyone and wants them to be happy- and never count the cost of following Jesus.
I can say I'm Christian, but hey, a lot of people say they're Christian- what does it even mean? I can add some adjectives on the front of it- evangelical, bible-believing, born-again- to show I'm serious about it... but then again, those are just labels for particular subcultures within organized religion. I can throw on my own descriptor- "I'm a Christian and I love Jesus more than anything", "I'm a Christian and Jesus changed my life", etc. Maybe I'll even stop using the word "Christian" and just say I'm a "disciple of Jesus"- see, that'll show everyone that my faith is my own and I'm not just blindly following what some organized religion says.
No. STOP! This whole thing comes from a desire to separate myself from my brothers and sisters who follow the same God I do. Why do I need to judge? Why do I need to say, "I'm a Christian, but not THAT kind of Christian"?
It's not my job to figure out who is and who is not a "real" Christian. If someone says they're a Christian, I'll take their word for it, and they can take it up with Jesus later if needed.
Why? Because I went to China.
Because a friend of a friend, whom I had never met before, let me stay with her in her tiny apartment. Because she took me out to restaurants and never let me pay for food or even the bus fare. Because we prayed together- in both English and Chinese- and cried together.
Because a member of her church invited us to his apartment- with cement floors and no heat- and we all made dumplings together. Because he GAVE ME a bible- a Chinese/English bible, which I had tried so hard to buy but they were out of stock at the church bookstore.
Because they tolerated my bad Chinese and my annoyance at being spoken to in English. Because they were so hospitable, and made sure I knew what to say to the taxi driver to get home.
And I asked my new best friend, why was she doing all this? Why was she buying me dinner? Why was she taking the time to show me around the city? Why did she never let me pay for anything?
"ä½ æ˜¯æˆ‘çš„å¦¹å¦¹." You are my sister. She didn't know me, but she knew I was a Christian. And somehow, two people from different cultures, on opposite sides of the world, had something in common. Everything is different about us, but we follow the same God.
And that is why I no longer want to separate myself from the body of Christ. I no longer want to create little categories to prove I'm a "real" Christian. No. Because this label, "Christian", connects me to millions of brothers and sisters around the world- they speak different languages, they come from completely different cultures- we have nothing in common except the most important thing.
"You are my sister." I'll never forget her.
You can say "it's not a religion" if you want, but I don't believe that any more. You can say "it's a relationship" if you want, but it's not just a "personal relationship with God"- it's a relationship with every human being on the planet who calls on the name of Jesus.
Now I'm happy to say "I'm a Christian" with no modifiers or disclaimers. Because God is so much greater than anything I could experience in my own little "personal walk with Christ". If he really is a global God, who unites people from every race, every language, every culture- why would I throw that away by distancing myself from the name of "Christian"?
"Are you religious?" Yes, I am a Christian.
I've always found this to be a tough question to answer- my background is evangelical Christianity, which very much emphasizes that no, this is not a religion. "Religion" is about following rules to earn God's approval, and that's not what we believe. We believe God loved us while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8), and there is no way we could have ever earned that.
 |
| "It's not a religion, it's a relationship." I don't believe this anymore. Image source. |
So, how should I answer when asked "Are you religious?"
Because, you know, I wouldn't want to be confused with those "religious people" who just try to follow rules and don't actually care about God. I wouldn't want to be confused with those "Christians" who only go to church on Christmas and don't even own a bible. I wouldn't want to be confused with those people who say God just loves everyone and wants them to be happy- and never count the cost of following Jesus.
I can say I'm Christian, but hey, a lot of people say they're Christian- what does it even mean? I can add some adjectives on the front of it- evangelical, bible-believing, born-again- to show I'm serious about it... but then again, those are just labels for particular subcultures within organized religion. I can throw on my own descriptor- "I'm a Christian and I love Jesus more than anything", "I'm a Christian and Jesus changed my life", etc. Maybe I'll even stop using the word "Christian" and just say I'm a "disciple of Jesus"- see, that'll show everyone that my faith is my own and I'm not just blindly following what some organized religion says.
No. STOP! This whole thing comes from a desire to separate myself from my brothers and sisters who follow the same God I do. Why do I need to judge? Why do I need to say, "I'm a Christian, but not THAT kind of Christian"?
It's not my job to figure out who is and who is not a "real" Christian. If someone says they're a Christian, I'll take their word for it, and they can take it up with Jesus later if needed.
 |
| Agape Church, in Chongqing. |
Because a friend of a friend, whom I had never met before, let me stay with her in her tiny apartment. Because she took me out to restaurants and never let me pay for food or even the bus fare. Because we prayed together- in both English and Chinese- and cried together.
Because a member of her church invited us to his apartment- with cement floors and no heat- and we all made dumplings together. Because he GAVE ME a bible- a Chinese/English bible, which I had tried so hard to buy but they were out of stock at the church bookstore.
Because they tolerated my bad Chinese and my annoyance at being spoken to in English. Because they were so hospitable, and made sure I knew what to say to the taxi driver to get home.
And I asked my new best friend, why was she doing all this? Why was she buying me dinner? Why was she taking the time to show me around the city? Why did she never let me pay for anything?
"ä½ æ˜¯æˆ‘çš„å¦¹å¦¹." You are my sister. She didn't know me, but she knew I was a Christian. And somehow, two people from different cultures, on opposite sides of the world, had something in common. Everything is different about us, but we follow the same God.
And that is why I no longer want to separate myself from the body of Christ. I no longer want to create little categories to prove I'm a "real" Christian. No. Because this label, "Christian", connects me to millions of brothers and sisters around the world- they speak different languages, they come from completely different cultures- we have nothing in common except the most important thing.
"You are my sister." I'll never forget her.
You can say "it's not a religion" if you want, but I don't believe that any more. You can say "it's a relationship" if you want, but it's not just a "personal relationship with God"- it's a relationship with every human being on the planet who calls on the name of Jesus.
Now I'm happy to say "I'm a Christian" with no modifiers or disclaimers. Because God is so much greater than anything I could experience in my own little "personal walk with Christ". If he really is a global God, who unites people from every race, every language, every culture- why would I throw that away by distancing myself from the name of "Christian"?
"Are you religious?" Yes, I am a Christian.
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