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| A worker in a hazmat suit moves luggage at Shanghai Pudong International Airport. Image source. |
I am already in China, so I'm not directly affected by this. I will just carry on as normal, going to work, wearing a mask in public and at work, all that. But it means that if I leave the country, I can't get back in. And we don't know how long this will last. Makes me feel very far from my family.
Yes, it makes sense for China to not allow international travelers. Inside mainland China, there are barely any new COVID-19 cases at all- some days 0, some days 1. But every day there are a few dozen new cases in China from people who just arrived from abroad. As far as I know, all international travelers are required to quarantine for 14 days- and if this is all done correctly, then any infections coming in from abroad will be caught during the quarantine, so there won't be any spread beyond that. But yes, it makes sense that they would want fewer people coming in. Other countries have done the same thing.
(Please note, though, that the majority of people bringing the virus back to China are Chinese citizens.)
Unlike the US, China's ban does NOT have an exception for immediate family of citizens. In other words, if you're married to a Chinese citizen, you're still not allowed to enter China. People are unhappy about this.
Also, even though China is just doing the same thing that other countries have done, the situation is different. A lot of international people who have lived in China long-term left in early February because of the virus. That was back when China was the only country facing this crisis, and we viewed the rest of the world as "safe." A lot of people took the "I'll just go hang out in another country for 2 months until this blows over" approach, and now it has very much backfired.
As things started to get better in China and worse in other countries, international people started trying to come back to their homes in China. It has been an extremely tricky process: flights have been cancelled, everyone is worried about catching the disease while stuck on a plane with hundreds of other people, China's rules about quarantines have been changing every day, and it makes a big difference which country your layover was in. Very very tricky. Some people decided "we should go back now before all travel is banned" and some people decided "I will wait a few weeks so I can learn from other people's experiences to get a better idea of what the quarantine process in China will be like."
And in some families, the dad is back in China already because he needed to get back to work, and the mom and kids are in their home country... they're separated and now they're stuck there.
This isn't like the travel bans in other countries, affecting tourists and business travelers. This affects long-term residents who uprooted their whole lives a month ago because of the virus, and were prepared to spend 14 days in quarantine in order to come back.
So... turns out I made the right decision, staying here. And... I want to talk about prayer a little bit. Oh I have a lot of opinions about where the heck God is in this pandemic, but I haven't posted any of those opinions on my blog because this is difficult emotionally for everyone, and I don't feel it would be helpful for me to criticize people's religious beliefs right now.
But. I do want to say a few things about prayer.
In late January/ early February when all this started, I wondered if I should leave China. I have a baby now, and more than anything I want to keep him safe. I weighed a lot of different factors:
- the situation in China and how much the virus was spreading
- my ability to stay in my own home and feel safe
- risks of catching the virus at the airport or during the flight
- China does not recognize my baby's US citizenship (because he also has Chinese citizenship)- this might cause problems if we end up needing the US government to evacuate us
- possible future travel restrictions or flight cancellations that would make it hard to leave in the future
- I have a job here and it's expected that everyone goes back to the office after a few weeks of working from home
- who is gonna take care of my cat if I leave?
- my baby is not fully vaccinated yet; we are following the Chinese vaccine schedule and have to go get a vaccine every 2 weeks- don't want to interrupt that process by leaving China
- what if I go to the US, and then later the virus spreads to the US anyway, so I have to live through the whole thing twice?
Factors I did not consider:
- praying and asking for God's help to make the decision
I decided to stay. Many immigrants decided to stay, and many decided to leave. If my circumstances were different- if I lived alone in an extremely crappy apartment and I didn't have a baby- I probably would have left.
I'm so glad I didn't pray about it. I'm so glad that it's been YEARS since I even considered the idea of praying about decisions I needed to make.
Why? Because the idea that I can somehow discern the "right answer" in an uncertain situation if only I can "hear God" correctly is just way too anxiety-inducing. The reality was that every option had its own risks, and it was impossible to predict what would happen. But back when I had a personal relationship with God, I believed that I could have certainty. I believed that God knew which option was "the right choice" and that if I prayed correctly, They would tell me. I could have certainty if I was a really really good Christian.
Back then, decision-making was not a matter of looking at reality, acknowledging the risks and uncertainty, and making the choices that I felt best handled that uncertainty. Instead, it was all about my ability to "listen to God." I would pray and pray and pray, and I fully believed that the "right answer" was RIGHT THERE, if only I was godly enough to hear it.
In other words, I traded the uncertainty of the real world for the uncertainty of "listening to God." Every little thought or feeling that crossed my mind, I had to analyze and wonder about if it was God trying to speak to me. I had to second-guess my motivations- maybe I selfishly want to do this, and therefore I'm imagining that God is telling me to do it, but They're actually not.
It was all one big wild game where nothing was actually connected to actual facts that could be checked in the actual real world.
If I don't "listen to God" and I just make the decision myself, yeah sure I can't predict the future so there's no way I can be sure it's the right decision, but at least I can base it on actual real information. I can read the news. I can see what's going on at the local grocery store. I can hear from other people and find out the reasons they made the choices they did.
I'd much rather have that reality-based uncertainty than all this second-guessing about "am I hearing God right?"
Also, when I use the reality-based, no-prayer way of making decisions, it means I don't judge people who came to a different conclusion than me. It's not about "I am a better Christian, I heard God correctly and you didn't." No. I understand that we are all working with incomplete information, and it's impossible to know for sure we're making the "right" choice. We all prioritize different things, and make different predictions about the future. We're trying our best. I don't believe that people who left China and now are in a bad situation where they can't come back are "inferior" to me because they made the "wrong" choice. No, I just think I'm lucky.
So. To sum up: This pandemic is especially hard for immigrants. Many countries now are banning foreigners from entering- and it makes sense, but it still sucks. I personally am not in that bad of a situation- I'm stuck in China (or rather, I could leave but then I wouldn't be able to come back...) but for now that's okay. And I'm so glad I'm not adding extra stress to my life by praying.
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All my posts about COVID-19:
I'm in Shanghai, and I'm concerned about the coronavirus (January 23)
An update on the situation in Shanghai (January 28)
About Compassion and Reading the News (January 29)
Welcome Baby Square Root! (February 3)
Remember the old days when we used to go outside? (February 4)
So we're (sort of) back to work here in Shanghai (February 12)
Blogaround (February 13)
Blogaround (February 20)
Shanghai is a good place for immigrants. (And I have feelings about it.) (February 24)
Blogaround (February 27)
Well *now* I'm glad I stayed in China (March 8)
The Weirdest Deja Vu (March 15)
Blogaround (March 19)
I'm an American in China. I CANNOT BELIEVE Some of You Are Still Going Out. (March 22)
Blogaround (March 25)
China Bans Foreigners (Like Me) From Entering the Country (March 29)
List of People Who Are Not Allowed to Call Themselves "Pro-Life" (April 2)
Blogaround (April 3)
... all right now I have way too many posts to keep updating this list. You can find them all on the COVID-19 tag.
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