"Desiring God" says God wants women to be scared of men

Gaston corners Belle against a door. Image source.

So uh, here's a post on "Desiring God", written by Greg Morse: The Future of Masculinity [via]. The whole post is such utter nonsense, it's hard to even believe someone wrote this and took it seriously, and it was posted in 2020 so why am I even blogging about this? I'm blogging about this just so you know what the organization "Desiring God" is about. And just in case you ever come across something else that Greg Morse wrote, so you don't make the mistake of taking it seriously, lol.

Or, in other words, I'm writing for myself, little Perfect-Number-from-15-years-ago, who thinks that "Desiring God" is a really good Christian organization, and I have to believe what they say. Little Perfect Number who believes in complementarianism, that God made men and women different, and God wants women to be barred from certain leadership positions, and this is good and godly and I must conform myself to it, because that's what it means to be a Christian.

(Wait a minute, we've talked about Greg Morse before! Wasn't he the one who wrote a post about how real men don't use plastic forks, and I was so boggled by that? Fellas, is it gay to eat potato salad at a picnic?)

(Wait, Morse is also the one who wrote the post about how it's good to stand up at a funeral and announce that the dead person is in hell.)

Okay so let's talk about Morse's 2020 post. It's based around a scene from a sci-fi novel by C. S. Lewis, "That Hideous Strength." I haven't read that, so I can't speak to whether Morse's interpretation is actually what Lewis was trying to say. (I am a fan of C. S. Lewis though.) Apparently, in this scene in the novel, a character called "the Director" is talking to a woman named Jane, about how she has been trying to avoid men who are truly masculine, because she sees them as unpredictable and dangerous, but it's wrong for her to do that. Masculinity is supposed to be a little aggressive and dangerous, and women just have to accept that, rather than try to get away from it. Rather than marry a safe and trustworthy man. Like, what on earth? The post literally says "She had chosen a husband, Mark, accordingly. He 'really understood' her — meaning that he posed no threat to her self-government and asked nothing of her she was unwilling to give." As if that's a bad thing!

This reads like Morse lives in a fantasy world, where action heroes and movie villains are so cool because they're badass and violent. Like he doesn't know anything about the reality of what it's like for women who are victims of men's violence. Like he's romanticized it, like a little danger is exciting but at the end of the day you don't *really* have to be scared because masculine men are good. Like he doesn't know what it's like to be a woman and feel vulnerable and eventually realize that no one is going to come and save you- you have to make yourself stronger and protect yourself.

And then there's this extremely bizarre section which says that God is so incredibly masculine, that even men are feminine in comparison. What??? That's not in the bible anywhere- Morse just made it up! (Or he got it from someone else who made it up.) What on earth???

I will say, though, I do like the section in Morse's post where he takes bible verses about God and changes the "he/him" pronouns to "she/her"- that's my religion. My God is male and female and nonbinary. Makes me want to go change more bible verses to she/her, what a great idea! So ridiculous when people try to limit who God is, and say They are male and not female. Morse changes the "he/him" to "she/her" in an attempt to show us how that would sound wrong (???) and therefore God is a "he/him"- but really it says more about him than it does about God.

Anyway. What really struck me, while reading Morse's post, was thinking about myself back when I was a good evangelical. What if I had read something like this, back then, saying that masculinity is inherently possessive and dangerous, and that's the way it should be, and as a woman I am supposed to let scary manly men rule over me? (I did read articles from "Desiring God" back then.)

Also, what if a woman marries an abuser, and she's scared of him, but she thinks that's normal and doesn't realize the way he's treating her is wrong? What if she didn't even know that it's possible to marry a good and trustworthy man and have a healthy marriage? What if she doesn't know that it's NOT healthy to be scared of your husband? OMG. She thinks to herself, "He's a great guy, so loving and kind to me. Sometimes he gets angry and I'm scared of him, but that's normal, that's just what masculinity is, that happens in every marriage sometimes." 

!!!! OMG, if you've never heard this before, you need to hear it: Many many women are in healthy marriages where they are NEVER scared of their husbands. NEVER. It should happen NEVER. If it happens "sometimes," that's a red flag.

Anyway. Back then, I wondered what "wives submit to your husbands" really meant. I had heard it in church my whole life, but I didn't feel that it made sense to restrict people based on their gender, but I still believed that Christians were required to be complementarian (ie, required to believe in "wives submit to your husbands," and that women can't be leaders to the extent that men can, and that the man has to be the "spiritual leader" in a romantic relationship). So I was very much looking for an explanation of how this was supposed to work- what *is* godly masculinity, or godly femininity, and how can it make sense that as a woman I'm made for a role that feels restrictive to me, but the restrictions are right and good and how God wants it to be.

I was looking for answers, answers to help me believe in complementarianism. I know I'm required to believe this- make it make sense! (Forever grateful to Rachel Held Evans for presenting an argument that it's possible to be a Christian and NOT be complementarian- finally an answer that makes sense!) What if I had found an article like this back then? Saying that masculinity *is* aggressive and dangerous and I need that in my life. Saying that God wants me to be with a man who makes me feel unsafe. Saying that God is so extremely masculine, so different from me, a woman. Men are like God, and I am not. (I am sure Morse would say this is a misinterpretation of his article- but, come on, this is necessarily how it comes across when you make a big huge deal about how it's so important to believe God is masculine and not feminine.)

So when I read this, first of all it's just so much nonsense, so laughable, so obviously out of touch with reality- but then I think about where I was back then, 15 years ago or so, and how something like this could have really affected me. I understand how it feels to have a mindset that would take this seriously. I had been told my whole life that Christians have to believe that God made men and women different, for different roles, and that it's super important that we all follow the correct roles- and it made no sense but I tried to believe it... If I had come across some horribly misogynist hot take that genuinely did the world-building to make it make sense, like Morse's article, I might have believed it.

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Related:

"Desiring God" Goes Full Toxic Masculinity 

Men have no idea what it's like for women in complementarian churches 

This May Be The Most WTF Christian Article On Sex I've Ever Read 

Don't Invite Anybody From 'Desiring God' to Your Funeral 

"The Authority of Scripture" is One Hell of a Drug 

And this post from the Slacktivist: Brief Interludes With Hideous Men (Part 1)

Also please enjoy this song, "God is a Girl." This is my religion.