Thursday, March 2, 2023

This May Be The Most WTF Christian Article On Sex I've Ever Read

Image text: "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-- think about such things. Philippians 4:8" This is what I wish TGC had done instead of writing that article. Image source.

[content note: NSFW language]

[update, 1 day later: TGC has removed the article]

Well I got on Twitter today and EVERYBODY is talking about this godawful article at The Gospel Coalition, Sex Won’t Save You (But It Points to the One Who Will) [archive link[content note: it's overspiritualized misogynistic smut].

If you don't want to read the article, well, that's probably a good choice, so I'll sum it up here: [content note: ugh I feel gross writing this] The writer, Josh Butler, says sex (by which he means, married sex between a cis man and cis woman, obviously) is a symbol of Christian salvation. Specifically, the man's role is the greatest form of generosity, giving his actual self by ejaculating his semen into his wife. And the woman's role is the greatest form of hospitality, welcoming her husband into her actual body. And, since this is also a metaphor for Christ and the church, Christ spiritually penetrates the church and puts his seed in her.

That's really what it says, you guys! Actually my summary here is less disturbing and graphic than the actual article. The actual article has a lot of overspiritualized language to describe semen. Like, you don't even want to know.

A few points I would like to make:

First of all, WTF. Yes. That should be our first reaction.

Second, here's the biggest problem with this article: This guy (Josh Butler) thinks ejaculation is generosity? This guy thinks ejaculation is the highest form of generosity and sacrifice? WHAT ON EARTH? ... I can't believe I am here on the internet pointing this out, but, men WANT to shoot their semen inside their partner. (Not all men, obviously- asexual men exist, and there can be plenty of other reasons to not desire that, besides just asexuality.) It's generally regarded as an extremely pleasurable activity for men. Like, what on earth, this guy thinks that a man "giving" his semen is the perfect picture of generosity. 

(The actual quote from the article is [content note: god help me, I can't even write adequate content notes, it's talking about ejaculation in spiritual language] "And what deeper form of self-giving is there than sexual union where the husband pours out his very presence not only upon but within his wife?" Yes, really, that's what it says.)

Okay, when people (sex-ed educators, for example) talk about being "giving" during sex, here's what they mean, because apparently The Gospel Coalition needs this spelled out explicitly: It means listening to your partner, learning what they want and what feels good for them, and doing the things that they want. Typically this means helping them have an orgasm. I CANNOT BELIEVE this guy really wrote an article about men being "giving" during sex, and it's *not* about a man making sure to "give" his wife an orgasm, it's about "giving" his semen.


Like, everyone gather around and marvel at how, apparently, women's orgasms are not on anyone's radar at all, over at The Gospel Coalition, even when they are talking about a man being "generous" during sex. Like, my god, how do you miss that?

Like, if you want to say "sex is a picture of the gospel because there's giving and receiving" okay, sure, there's a case to be made there. But, turns out he didn't just mean "sex", he meant penis-in-vagina sex specifically. And, actually, even more specifically, he meant the moment where the man has an orgasm. *That* specifically is what this guy thinks points to Christian salvation.


My third comment on this: Wow, what a great example of how conservative Christian teaching is not inclusive of asexuals. Some people may naively think that since conservative Christianity makes such a big deal about "purity"/ "abstinence only"/ etc, then it would be accepting of asexuals. But, nope! What they actually teach is, you're not allowed to have sex before marriage, but then when you are married, you HAVE TO have sex, and it has to mean these certain things and be associated with these certain feelings. Yeah usually they don't say it in such gross, explicit terms, but there definitely is the idea that married people have to have sex, and it has a specific meaning. 

Fourth, here are some great tweets about how ejaculation is NOT a "sacrifice" (WTF) but all the stuff that women/ people with uteruses go through IS:

Go read @BeccaLizz's whole thread, actually. Like, what is this business about ejaculation being the greatest expression of generosity, when pregnancy exists? Like, you wanna talk about giving your body for someone else? MY GOD.

Fifth, you know what is *actually* a picture of generosity/hospitality/whatever in marriage? Being there for each other. Listening to each other. Caring about each other. Taking care of your spouse when they are sick. I very much reject the idea that sex is the highest form of love or whatever. 

Sixth, The Gospel Coalition is one of those conservative Christian groups that teaches women can't be "in authority over" men. Hmm maybe if they had some women in leadership and they actually valued those women's opinions, they wouldn't have published such... uh... I mean, I've read smutty fanfiction that's not as bad as this.

All right enough about that! Please go and think about something nice now.


Follow-up post: I need to talk about this "selfish and small" nonsense



Breastfeeding: Take and Eat; This is My Body 

Here's an article about evangelical women and sex

A Post About Masturbation

John Piper Said "Sex Belongs to Christians" and I am Not the Least Bit Surprised 

What My Marriage Is Actually About (It's Not Sex And It's Not Jesus)

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