Top 18 Posts From 2023

A cat looking at a laptop computer. Image source.

Hi readers! It's time for the yearly roundup post! Here are my top blog posts from 2023:

Top 5 posts by page views:

1. This May Be The Most WTF Christian Article On Sex I've Ever Read: "Like, everyone gather around and marvel at how, apparently, women's orgasms are not on anyone's radar at all, over at The Gospel Coalition, even when they are talking about a man being 'generous' during sex. Like, my god, how do you miss that?"

2. For Rizpah (or, a post about human sacrifice in the bible): "So when I read this story in the bible, I always thought that since David was a 'good guy,' that meant Rizpah was a 'bad guy.'"

3. January 2023 Carnival of Aces Roundup: "The Advice You Wish You'd Had": Very cool hosting the Carnival of Aces!

4. Vaginismus Is Not A Problem, In And Of Itself: "She has to go to a doctor and the doctor will tell her what she needs to do to make her body good enough for a man. She has to spend her time on yoga, because her body isn't good enough for a man. She has to endure the pain of trying to push dilators in, trying to force herself to relax, hoping she can make herself good enough for a man."

5. Blog series on "The Great Sex Rescue": One of the main things on my blog this year is my series reviewing the book "The Great Sex Rescue." I have a lot to say about it! It does a very good job of pointing out how illogical and harmful purity ideology and complementarianism are, but it falls short because it doesn't acknowledge queerness- and in particular, there are many parts of the book where its advice does not work for asexuals.

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And my other favorite 13 posts:

6. "Sodom and Gomorrah" is a story about living in a "bad neighborhood": "It's a story about stereotypes. God buys into the stereotypes too- killing the entire city just because a small and powerful group of men is terrorizing the streets. God kills them and their victims. God sees no difference."

7. That happened to me too: "If it's really true that this is a more common problem for aces, then we can imagine an alternate universe where this information is more widely known, and I could have known that I was at risk for having painful pap smears/ pelvic exams, and I could have protected myself better."

8. On believing that "prayer works": "So, it's very possible that if a white woman is missing, lots of people will see the news coverage and pray for her, but a woman of color in the exact same situation will receive little news coverage and won't have a ton of strangers praying for her. Does that mean that God will help the white woman more? Doesn't something seem wrong about this? God's actions are constrained by human society's prejudices?"

9. No One Can Take The Bible From Me: "To actually spend time caring about the victims of the bible... wow, that's something new and powerful."

10. Boundaries With Dentists: "Yeah... being required to perform your discomfort in a way that will read as 'real' to other people. This is hard to explain, but I'm autistic and I think other autistic people know what I'm talking about."

11. Separating Vaginismus From Asexuality: "And I wondered, was I not 'really' asexual, and it was 'actually' 'just' vaginismus? Now that I don't have vaginismus any more, am I not asexual any more?"

12. On Marriage as an Immigrant in China: "A divorce can be ugly and painful in ways that wouldn't happen in a divorce between 2 citizens. At the same time, the practical reality of being from 2 completely different cultures will frequently require the 2 spouses to trust and depend on each other in ways that citizen couples don't have to."

13. "Boys Can't Stop": "I couldn't comprehend this idea of 'he didn't want to pressure me'- because in purity culture, they said that boys are always pressuring girls, that's what you should expect from boys, they are all like that."

14. "To Glorify God": "This blog would be different from all my previous writing on Christianity. This blog would be about saying what I needed to say. Asking the questions I needed to ask. Even if I wasn't sure if God was okay with me asking."

15. How to Pretend to Welcome Trans People: "I can't believe I have to point this out, but that is THE OPPOSITE of welcoming trans people. Like if I had to make a list of 'how NOT to welcome trans people' those are the exact things I would put on it."

16. I used to be a young-earth creationist: "Anyway, as I read more and more of Answers in Genesis's articles, I really struggled with it, because young-earth creationism just sounds so laughably ridiculous. But finally it came down to this: I knew that as a Christian, I have to believe the bible is true. And if you open the bible to Genesis 1, it's right there in black-and-white: On the first day God made light. On the second day, on the third day, etc. That's what it says, and I believe the bible, right?"

17. Men have no idea what it's like for women in complementarian churches: "That's where I learned that we can just reject the whole thing. We don't have to tie ourselves in knots trying to explain how we believe wives have to submit to their husbands, but not like, in a sexist way."

18. The Logistics of a Revival: "They had to make a decision- and it's a human decision, it's not something that happens automatically because 'God.'" (I had several posts on the Asbury Revival- here's one of them.)

So there you have it! And yes, I have tons of draft posts, and tons of ideas. Looking forward to another year of blogging~