So I'm Praying Again

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It's Advent, which seems to me like a good time to pray and try to see if I can connect with God again.

I've prayed very little lately, because prayer requires one to assume things about God; to believe you and God have, on some level, a common viewpoint from which to start talking.

Pray "God, thank you for blah blah blah," and you're assuming 2 things: 1) God probably/possibly had a role in causing "blah blah blah" to happen, and 2) God thinks that "blah blah blah" is a good thing.

Pray "God, help XYZ to do ABC," and you're assuming: 1) XYZ doing ABC is the sort of thing the God could maybe cause to happen, and 2) God agrees that ABC would be a good thing.

Unless you're praying with such vague generalities that they could be interpreted to mean anything (which would be pointless), it's impossible to pray without making assumptions about what God is like, and, most importantly, the assumption that "God agrees with me."

"God agrees with me" is one of the most dangerous beliefs there is, and that's a major component of my old religion that I'm trying to get away from. Too many people have used "this is God's way" to promote their own opinions on dating, parenting, heaven and hell, whatever. And I have done too many things that were actually bad ideas because "this is what God said."

So if I pray "God thank you for this and that" or "God do this and that" it's just reinforcing the assumption that "God agrees with me."

But without any assumptions at all, I literally have no way to say anything to God.

What to do?

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So I started praying specifically to "the God of love." Because I have a lot of ideas and strong opinions about who God is, but I'm not so confident that I'd go right up to God and start talking as if those opinions are truth, as if clearly God and I are on the same page about things. I have a particular understanding of God, which I decided to refer to as "the God of love" because, well, 1 John 4:8, and the definition of love is the most important part of what I believe now, and maybe the biggest difference from what I believed before.

I'm praying to a specific version of "God," which may or may not exist. (Of course, I know I'm wrong to some extent- no one can fully understand God.)

I'm praying to who I think God is, and the real God(s) can take it or leave it.

I'm stating that upfront when I pray. Maybe that's the best way.

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A few other bits:

Is being confident about one's beliefs a good or bad thing? Too confident and it's "God agrees with me" and you won't listen to any alternate views. Too little confidence and you're not able to act on your beliefs, so having beliefs is pointless. Where's the balance?

Is that what faith is? So is faith good or bad? Well obviously it's good if the object of one's faith is something true and good. But everyone has different opinions on what's true, and it's impossible (maybe not even helpful?) to try to settle that question. Are there other guidelines to know if faith is good or bad? I could say something like "if it causes you to do things that help the world then it's good" but people will have different opinions on what does and does not "help the world." It seems like there's no unbiased position.

Also: everyone is wrong about God, because we're human and we don't know everything. So is it possible to hold a view about God that can correct itself, rather than just reinforcing itself? (Again, there will be a ton of different ideas on what "correct" means here, so ... maybe the question doesn't make sense anyway, maybe you have to assume the "right answer" first before knowing how to build a set of beliefs/methods that can "correct itself" toward that "right answer.") Actually, I think listening to a lot of diverse opinions helps.

We're not perfect. We're all wrong about some things, but at some point you have to just go with it and do your best, and you're gonna make mistakes but it's better than nothing. So ... but how?