Saturday, October 20, 2012

Having it all... on my own terms

"I'll show them," I thought. "They'll regret this."

In a moment of anger and befuddlement over the fact that I was getting rejected, over and over, at every job I applied to, I vowed that someday those recruiters would realize their mistake.

I'll become a famous engineer. I'll move high up in a huge company. I'll build an awesome robot that all the geeks will drool over. I'll be the mastermind behind the Google self-driving car or the Mars rover. I know I'm smart. I know I can succeed. They'll be sorry.

The only problem is, that's not really what I want.

I will always love robots. Image source.

As an undergrad, I majored in both math and electrical engineering. All my math-major friends went on to PhD programs. Not me. Does it prove that they're smarter than me, if they have PhDs?

I will most likely never have a PhD. Yes, I'm confident that I'm "smart enough" and I could do the work, but it's not what I want.

Okay, what do I want? First of all, I'm moving to China. I know I need to be in China, for so many reasons. I have met so many international students at my university, and I'm always impressed at how they take classes in English, make friends in English, rent an apartment in English, buy a car in English, set up a bank account in English- and the language barrier isn't the only problem; there is a cultural barrier too. But they learn to live and thrive in this foreign culture.

I want to know if I could do it too. Could I really live in China?

And that challenge is far more important to me than having a prestigious job or a PhD. The world is out there, and I want to know what it's like- because 96% of it is nothing like the American culture I am used to. (I say 96% because 96% of people are not Americans.)

And when I go there, my job will most likely be teaching English. I'll become more and more fluent in Mandarin, more and more confident about my ability to go places and do things in China. Is that anyone's definition of "having it all"? Does it matter? It's my definition.

I will not give anyone the power to dictate what I do with my life. I will not be driven by revenge for employers who reject me, comparisons with my peers who have more education than me, or advice about what would and would not be good for my career.

Maybe I won't "have it all" by anyone else's standard, but I'll have exactly what I want.


This post is part of the Having It All blog carnival, hosted by The Mamafesto. Submissions are due October 28. If you want to submit a post from your blog, go for it!


  1. I always was interested in this subject and still am, thanks for posting.
    Syrian Refugees

  2. I wanted to say Thank You for delivering this information, youre doing a good job with the web page if you get a possibility would you assist me to make some changes to help my site ? Ill pay you for your help, you can find the link to my site during my name. Thank you !

    Business Website

  3. Was that way for me. I started to get a masters in philosophy (and was going to get a PhD in it), but Asia ruined me. I still might get another degree someday, but goodness, that would be hard.

  4. Subsequently, after spending many hours on the internet at last We've uncovered an individual that definitely does know what they are discussing many thanks a great deal wonderful post.Directory Submission Service

  5. A very awesome blog post. We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up. Great work.

    Latest Updates And News IPad

  6. Useful information shared..Iam very happy to read this article..thanks for giving us nice info.Fantastic walk-through. I appreciate this post.

    Why Apple Users Use Jailbreaking Software

  7. Delta force2 xtreme download fJune 2, 2013 at 8:24 AM

    You really know your stuff... Keep up the good work!

    Delta force2 xtreme download free

  8. Hitman Blood MoneyJune 28, 2013 at 12:33 AM

    Hey, I think your blog might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, excellent blog!

  9. Hitman Blood MoneyJune 28, 2013 at 12:34 AM

    Great work buddy, keep it up

  10. Call of duty Modern warfare 3July 7, 2013 at 12:36 AM

    I was actual admiring to acquisition this site. I capital to acknowledge you for this abundant read!! I absolutely adequate every little bit of it and I accept you bookmarked to analysis out new being you

  11. Prince of Persia complete CollJuly 12, 2013 at 5:52 AM

    cheers for your reveal plus tell my buddy. Incredible in fact.thank you for your discuss plus give my best mate.Thanks a lot..!!

  12. Prince of Persia complete CollJuly 13, 2013 at 12:31 AM

    cheers for your reveal plus tell my buddy. Incredible in fact.thank you for your discuss plus give my best mate.Thanks a lot..!!