Thank you, Libby Anne

Butterfly logo from the blog "Love, Joy, Feminism". Image source.

I was sad to see Libby Anne's announcement that she is retiring from blogging. Her blog, Love, Joy, Feminism, is one of my favorites. I have learned so much from her; she comes from a similar background to me (though her family was definitely more conservative than mine), and writes about a lot of the same ex-evangelical feminist issues that are important to me.

So I want to visit some of the topics she's blogged about, and the posts that have been meaningful to me:

Marriage/ sex/ dating from an ex-purity perspective

Probably the biggest impact for me is seeing what a good marriage can look like for ex-purity-culture women. 

Sex and Respect "Here was a man who wanted to have sex with me and didn’t have any convictions about waiting for marriage, but he wasn’t pressuring me to have sex with him? What was this?!"

CTBHHM: Divine Lovers and Desperate Castration "Look, if Debi wanted to talk about female pleasure she could have. She could have said things like 'you have this thing called a clitoris' or 'lube is your friend' or 'try some more foreplay' or 'if it hurts, there’s something wrong, and you should go to the doctor.'" I am pretty sure Libby Anne's blog is the first place I ever heard that it's a good idea to use lube during penis-in-vagina sex, to make it less painful for the partner with a vagina. So THANK YOU.

Hey Focus on the Family: Masturbation Is Actually Important YES! And Libby Anne's post inspired my post, I Wanna Preach the Good News of Masturbation, which I am very proud of because I definitely want to preach the good news of masturbation.

The Purity Culture and Trust "For one thing, I found out that he had had sex with a previous girlfriend, and when he wasn’t regretful for it, I did everything I could to let him know how much this hurt me in an effort to make him feel guilt and regret."

Purity culture 

Evangelicals Said Having Sex Before Marriage Will Ruin My Life. It Didn’t. PREACH.

Checklist: An Evangelical Approach to the Marriage Market "Look at the list above again and note what’s missing. There is nothing in there that covers warning signs of abuse. There are, in contrast, a million questions about whether the pair has had sex yet." And what has really stuck with me is how Libby Anne says her mind was blown when a relative gave her a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT set of questions: "Do you love him? Does he love you? Does he treat you right?" (See also my post: The Checklist: Purity Culture's Alternative to Actually Getting to Know Someone)

Purity Culture and Staying in Abusive Relationships

Louisiana Lawmakers Want to Marry Off Pregnant 15-Year-Olds Libby Anne has written many posts calling attention to child marriage in the United States and the purity rhetoric used to support it. (Which inspired this post from me: What do you mean by "sexual immorality"?)

The pro-life movement

How I Lost Faith in the “Pro-Life” Movement Last I heard, this was the #1 most viewed post on her blog, BY FAR, and wow yes, it is an extremely good post.

Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Abortion Wars About volunteering as a clinic escort at Planned Parenthood.

The Anti-Abortion Movement’s Fetal Imaginings About how the "pro-life" movement uses imagery of 8-month fetuses/ pregnant women, and literal already-born babies, which is extremely dishonest because most abortions happen during the first trimester. 

Josh Duggar (wow, I have a whole category for Josh Duggar)

When the scandal with Josh Duggar came out (2015), Libby Anne's blog was a very good source for information and analysis:

What You Need to Know about the Josh Duggar Police Report 
What Did Josh Duggar’s Counseling Look Like?
Anna Duggar and the Silencing Power of Forgiveness
When the Perpetrators Matter More than the Victims
How Christian Culture Excuses Sex Offenders 
Josh Duggar’s Lies, Damn Lies, and Half Truths
It Took This for People to Listen?
Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s Interview with Megyn Kelly: Minimize, Deny, Obfuscate
Are the Duggars Victims of Christian Persecution?

Answers in Genesis

On Answers in Genesis’ Portrayal of Noah’s Son’s Wives "I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that maybe—just maybe—Answers in Genesis should have taken more proactive steps to avoid perpetuating nineteenth century American race theory in their portrayals of Noah’s son’s wives."

How Did Judas Die? Why Evangelicals Seek to Explain Away Contradictions. (which inspired my post- The Bible Stories As I Read Them Were Never Actually In The Bible)

Misc

Progressive Piety and Conservative Politics: On Kaepernick, Tebow, and American Christianity

Evangelical Blogger: Christian Leaders Need Extra Protection against Allegations of Sin A response to an extremely bad article by Tim Challies.

Christianity Today Goes Full Pick-Up Artist About creepy evangelism.

About That Viral Modesty Video, “Virtue” I will never get over the absurdity of this music video about modesty- with boys in SUITS and TIES being total STUMBLING BLOCKS as they sing about the importance of girls dressing modest. Dayyyammmm.

My guest post

And I am very proud of this guest post I did: I’m Really Really REALLY Glad I Had Sex Before Marriage. About purity culture, asexuality, facing my fear that sex was going to change me into an unlovable person and ruin my life, and discovering there was nothing to fear at all.

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And I could keep going- she has also written A LOT about homeschooling in the United States, and how conservative organizations fight against any sort of regulations regarding homeschooling, and this can make it easy for abusive parents to hide the abuse. She has written about Josh Harris and his role in purity culture and impact on her own life. She has written about politics and Trumpism and immigration and how evangelicals have become unrecognizable since selling their soul to Trump.

So thank you for all your hard work blogging, Libby Anne. We will miss you. <3