Monday, May 8, 2017

I Don't Expect My Wedding to be "The Happiest Day of My Life"

A bride and groom dance together. Image source.
There's this cultural assumption that your wedding is "the happiest day of your life." People throw that phrase around as if it's by definition true- which is absurd. I'm getting married this summer, and I don't expect the wedding to be "the happiest day of my life."

I mean, maybe it will be. We certainly want it to be a very happy day, and we are doing a lot of planning so everything will go well. But my future will have tons of happy days, and it's meaningless to rank them. Maybe the wedding works out to be the happiest day of my life, maybe not. Who cares?

If you really believe the wedding is "the happiest day of your life", that means afterward, it's all downhill. What a pessimistic way to look at your future! Also, if something goes wrong at the wedding (and it's likely there will be at least a few things that don't go exactly right) then oh no, that was your happiest day, you'll never get a chance to be that happy again, and you screwed it up. You're a failure as a bride (or groom- but let's be real, this is usually directed at women).

Why do we put that kind of pressure on people who are planning their wedding? They feel like everything has to be perfect, and they have to feel the "correct" emotions, or else it doesn't meet "happiest day of your life" standards and that means it was a total failure. Come on. It doesn't have to be "the happiest day of your life." Just enjoy yourself. Maybe some things won't go exactly right, but that's okay.

And even if you hate your wedding, that's okay too. The important part is your marriage with your partner. You have your whole future together with this person, and if they're a good partner for you, that's great. That's what really matters, not how you feel at the wedding itself.

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