Follow God and Snag a Guy

I saw this on Facebook and could not let it pass by without a challenge:

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"I say I want this [cutting a wedding cake]
So I'am [sic] chasing After This [bible]
So I can be blessed With this [man kissing the bible (???)]
And end up like this [man and woman cuddling while pretending to read the bible]."

No. NO. NO! Absolutely not. You use God in order to find a husband/wife? Because marriage is the most important thing ever, and God is a means to get it? No. No. NO.

The above example actually comes right out and says that. But I've seen this same idea in much subtler forms:

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"I love boys* [and then in very small text] *who love Jesus."

Right. I love boys first and Jesus second. Or, I love boys more than anything, but I at least put a Christian spin on it. That makes it okay. Right...

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"A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man needs to seek Him first in order to find her."

I've heard this quote a lot of times, and I would agree that it's technically true- as a Christian woman, it would be impossible for me to really connect with a guy if he didn't also love God. So, there's that.

But unfortunately, I often hear this quote in the context of advice towards Christian women. It's not presented as just a fact, it's presented as what you should do in order to get a godly guy.

And wait a minute, is this hypothetical man pursuing God only to impress the Christian girl?

I remember, many years ago, hearing one of my friends in college sharing a story of how she broke up with her boyfriend because she knew he wasn't right for her, and God was saying they should break up. She went on to talk about how God was totally there for her, and yes it was the right decision, and God is awesome.

And as I listened to this story, I thought, "No, you're wrong. This isn't a happy ending- now it's a year later, and you're still single."

(By the way, she's married now. Oh good, God finally did come through and give her a happy ending. /sarcasm)

The happy ending isn't "I worked really hard at following God, and FINALLY he set me up with an amazing guy." No, following God is itself the "happy ending"- though I actually don't think we should use the term "happy ending." It's the best way to live, but it's not a a bunch of magic and rainbows.

Pictured: Being a Christian. (Your results may vary.) Image source.

Because there have been times I believed this too. If I just follow Jesus really good, and learn how to listen to God, and read enough Christian books about dating, and talk it out with my friends a lot, gather a ton of information, find out the secrets to getting a guy, then God will set me up with an awesome guy who's PERFECT.

No amount of dating advice and information will cause the right guy to come into your life. No amount of prayer will make God set you up with a husband, if God already knows that's not what he wants for you right now.

As Christians, we do not follow Jesus so that he'll give us what we want. We follow him because we need him. We follow him because he has promised to never forget about us, to always hear and understand our needs, when we don't even know how to express them. We follow him because he loves and forgives us no matter what. And this is the greatest thing that could ever be. 

Nothing- not marriage, not sex, not romance, not friendship, not family, not education, not career, not possessions, not money, not power, not fame, not drugs or music or amusement parks or bouncy castles or non-Newtonian fluids- nothing can compare to knowing Jesus.

"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Philippians 3:8

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want [whether single or in a relationship]. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:12-13

This is the truth that changed my life. This is what set me free. That day in 2008, when I missed my ex-boyfriend and I suddenly realized that God is all I need. This is how I've lived an awesome life for 4 years, single, desiring a boy's affection but knowing that it just wasn't time yet, and completely confident that, though I expect to be married someday, my life is not missing anything when I'm single.

I follow Jesus because he's Jesus.