On Christianity and Waiting

Book cover for "Washed and Waiting"

Today in "books that Perfect Number heard about 10 years ago and finally got around to reading"...

I recently read Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality, by Wesley Hill, published in 2010. Hill is a gay Christian and believes in the traditional Christian teaching that says same-sex romantic/sexual relationships are sinful. The book is about how he struggles with the pain of loneliness and desire that can't be fulfilled, but he holds on to his faith that God sees what he is doing, that it's the right thing to do, and God will reward him some day. The purpose is to encourage other gay Christians who hold these beliefs and struggle with them.

I wasn't going to blog about this because I'm not really the right person for this... I feel like, a very obvious solution suggests itself... like why don't you just date a man? See, but I shouldn't actually say that to someone who is in this situation because it would come across as really insensitive. People in this situation are working so hard to keep the rules that they believe God is requiring them to keep, and they feel like it's so difficult and painful and lonely and they need encouragement, and if I come along and say "hey good news, your beliefs are wrong and you don't have to do any of this at all" well that is not helpful.

Actually, though, I think a lot of what Hill writes about in this book can be applied to singleness in general. People may be single for all sorts of reasons- all sorts of reasons which don't have an "obvious solution"- and they often do feel like it's overwhelmingly lonely. The book emphasizes that we all need human connection, and that the desire for friendship/connection should be embraced, and the church is supposed to meet that need. The church doesn't do a good job of this- churches often don't seem to know what to do with single people- but, in an ideal world, it would be a place where people can form deep, meaningful friendships. It's good that this book exists.

Anyway, the main thing about this book that inspired me to write this blog post is this: This is a very different version of Christianity than what I believe. Superficially, one might thing that it's just a matter of "some Christians think same-sex relationships are sinful, some Christians think same-sex relationships are okay", perhaps just a few Greek words in a bible verse being interpreted differently by the 2 different sides. But it turns out it goes way deeper than that. 

The book is called "Washed and Waiting"- because celibate gay Christians are "washed" clean from their sins and are "waiting" to get to heaven and finally be rewarded by God and healed of their homosexuality. (Yes, the book says that homosexuality is an abnormality that will eventually be removed when we are all made perfect in heaven.) The "waiting" part is really difficult- living one's whole lifetime with this pain and longing and loneliness, struggling, failing, trying to be faithful to God's law, clinging to the hope that someday God will reward you.

Is the Christian life about waiting, and trying not to sin? Wow, no, I very much do not see it that way. The Christian life should be about doing, not waiting. We are supposed to take action to help people and do good and make the world better. That is what actually matters. Not the extent to which you can control and discipline and repress yourself as it relates to your own personal habits and thoughts.

I was also struck by how much this ideology relies on heaven to finally make everything better. This life is full of pain and struggle and that's just how it is; we won't be healed until after we die and meet God. I don't agree with this. I don't think we should wait for heaven; I think we should bring the kingdom of heaven to the earth. As Jesus taught us to pray, "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." We can't wait for God to save us; we need to take action and do it ourselves. And what if there is no heaven? I don't want to bank on that. We need to do what we can now to make this world better. 

If our religion doesn't help people right here and now, I think it's worthless. 

I will say, I can think of some circumstances where you can't really do anything to solve your problem except look forward to heaven. For example, what if someone you love died? Nothing you can do about it, except hope that you will see them again in heaven. Or what if you have a chronic illness or disability that you wish you could be healed from- nothing you can do except look forward to being healed in heaven. So yes, this idea of "waiting" and relying on heaven's existence can apply to some situations, but I very much do not think this "waiting" is the main point of Christianity. The book talks about it like it's the main point of Christianity. Waiting and *not* doing things. Maybe Hill would disagree with me saying that; maybe he doesn't think it's the main point of the Christian life. But if you read *only* this book, that's the impression you would get.

Still, though, it shouldn't just be "waiting"- we should take action to change the world and help people and advocate for disabled people's rights, etc, do what we can to make things better here on earth, even though we can't *completely* solve these problems. It feels so bizarre and jarring to me, to encounter this ideology that says gay Christians can't date a same-sex partner, because reasons, and that causes them to suffer loneliness and it sure seems like we could easily solve this by allowing them to date, but no no, let's not do that, let's wait for heaven.

(Okay, yes, I'm kind of oversimplifying it- Hill *does* give reasons in the book for why he believes he can't just date a man. It's not like this "obvious solution" has never occurred to him. All his reasons rely on a view of Christianity that's very different from mine though, so they don't really do anything for me.)

I don't think we should wait for heaven, and accept that we suffer in this world because that's just how it is. Christianity should be about bringing the kingdom of heaven to this world. Christianity shouldn't be about waiting, it should be about doing.

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Related:

If heaven is so great, why did God even make this world?

"On earth as it is in heaven" 

"Slaves, Women & Homosexuals" (What is this book actually about?)

"Waiting On God" - But Like, Why Though?