how will i explain this to my children

When I see conservatives behaving badly, I like to make a "how will I explain this to my children" joke. (This is a reference to the idea that queer people shouldn't exist in public because "how will I explain this to my children?" Umm, okay, it's actually not that hard to give simplified definitions of various queer identities to children. What is hard is the hypothetical conservative parent explaining why there's apparently something wrong with that.)

Anyway, now that I actually do have a child, my "how will I explain this to my children" is not so hypothetical anymore. So I thought it would be fun to post a roundup of tweets where I asked that question.

(Special shout-out to Erik for actually answering as if it's a real question, lololololol.)

how will I explain this to my children https://t.co/UVbLBZpACw

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) February 2, 2020

how will I explain this to the children https://t.co/tIkCzQy5gu

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) July 26, 2017

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww how will I explain lori alexander to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) July 8, 2019

how will we explain this to the children https://t.co/JXklskPiCP

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) January 4, 2018

"You see, kids, sometimes people suck."

Have you tried that line? ^_^

— Erik Kort (@ErikMKort) April 4, 2019

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww gross how will i explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) March 9, 2019

ugh
how will we explain this to the children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) November 29, 2017

ewww how will i explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) June 11, 2019

hmm yeah i guess that would do it

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) June 11, 2019

oh gross the #NashvilleStatement has versions in several languages (including Chinese) available for download, how will I explain this to the children?

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) October 13, 2017

how will I explain this to the children https://t.co/HOydyray9y

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) July 27, 2017

how will I explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) January 6, 2020

umm
pretty sure foreplay has to be consensual

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) October 24, 2019

how will I explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) October 24, 2019

how will i explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) May 28, 2019

how will I explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) July 3, 2019

ewwwwwwwwwww
how will i explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) June 12, 2019

I'm gonna be honest, I think after you explain Trump to your children, you'll be a pro at this sorta thing.

— Erik Kort (@ErikMKort) June 12, 2019

HOW WILL I EXPLAIN THIS TO MY CHILDREN https://t.co/crKc2eYwrJ

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) July 15, 2019

ewwwww how will i explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) June 10, 2019

ewww how will i explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) June 25, 2019

ewww how will I explain this to my children

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) November 12, 2019

Strangely, I think it's getting easier. Because no longer will you have to explain ONE case, but it'll be a whole THING.

And honestly, you explain one of them, and you explain all of them. But then, you have to explain how it went on for SO LONG and that's much harder.

— Erik Kort (@ErikMKort) November 12, 2019