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| Image text: "The image of God is trans." Image source. |
"... [Abraham] is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed-- the God who gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not."
- Romans 4:17
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This article from Christianity Today caught my eye: Transgender Teens, Pronouns, and Preferred Names: Youth Pastors Grapple with New Questions [article is paywalled], by Ericka Andersen. It starts out like this:
With transgender identity continuing to rise in the US, evangelical pastors are challenged to think through how they might welcome a trans person attending their church.
I read that, and I thought, wow, maybe Christianity Today will surprise me! Maybe they'll actually have something helpful to say! Maybe now that more people are aware of trans people's existence, evangelicals have changed their tune and are actually taking steps to be more accepting.
LOL. Oh, lol.
Well, I guess this means I'm not longer fluent in evangelicalese. I've been spending so much time not going to church, and hanging out with queer friends instead. Alas, this Christianity Today article is actually not anything new. It's not about how to actually welcome trans people. It's the same old evangelical talking points about how of course being trans isn't a real thing.
Let me show you the article's advice about how to welcome trans people to church:
Even churches that believe people are created by God as male and female have varying approaches and policies around transgender youth. In a private Facebook group with over 11,000 youth leaders from a variety of backgrounds, a post on the subject of gender pronouns drew a slew of comments.
Using a child’s preferred pronouns can be an “essential piece of their mental health,” said one person. Another wrote that using nonbiological pronouns is against “the Truth of God’s word,” putting “souls at stake.”
“They need truth, and not a continuation of the twisted agenda trying to shove its way into the church,” wrote another pastor. One group member said her church addresses everyone as “friend” to avoid pronoun miscommunication.
On the 9Marks site last year, pastor Zach Carter wrote that his previous church offered a written policy that included what to do if a transgender student attended youth group activities. The policy required that participating students “live and present according to their biologically assigned sex.” This included biologically correct pronouns, dress, appropriate bathrooms, locker rooms, assigned sleeping arrangements, groups, and classes.
Umm, what on earth? All of these are presented in the article like they are reasonable policies that Christians could have in regards to trans issues. These are presented as valid answers to the question of how to welcome trans people.
Umm.
Zach Carter is over here explicitly saying his church doesn't let trans people use the bathroom they want to use, and makes sure to call them by the wrong pronouns, and polices their clothes. And this article is like, yeah sure, that's a valid answer to the question "How should our church welcome trans people?"
I can't believe I have to point this out, but that is THE OPPOSITE of welcoming trans people. Like if I had to make a list of "how NOT to welcome trans people" those are the exact things I would put on it.
And then there's this:
Among Christians, pronouns are one of the most discussed and controversial elements of hospitality toward transgender people.
“We should respect the conscience of the believer who cannot bring themselves to use someone’s preferred pronouns and the convictions of the believer who feels like using those pronouns is lying and unloving,” said David Sanchez, who works through gender and sexuality issues as the director of ethics and justice for the Christian Life Commission of Texas Baptists.
“We can also admire the efforts of believers who use someone’s preferred pronouns with the intention of wanting to build a lasting relationship where they can show Christ’s love."
So, the article says, both of these approaches are fine for Christians to take! Either you refuse to use a trans person's preferred pronouns, because you believe that's "lying and unloving", or you use their preferred pronouns just to humor them, even though obviously you believe that being trans isn't a real thing.
WHAT? This is the article about how to welcome trans people??????
I'm here to tell you that yes, when someone tells you "this is my name and pronouns", then you absolutely should call them by that name and those pronouns. This is like, BARE-MINIMUM stuff. If you refuse, that's just mean. Yeah, maybe you make mistakes sometimes, that's fine, but do your best. This is BARE-MINIMUM stuff.
But, just... ugh. This article on how to welcome trans people, saying that if you use the right pronouns or the wrong pronouns, both of those are just fine. Ugh.
What's COMPLETELY WILD is that the article mentions that studies have found that trans people have a high risk of depression and suicide, but does not mention that studies have found this risk goes WAY DOWN if trans people are accepted and called by their correct name and pronouns. [correct = the name and pronouns that they tell you they use.] It's like, the article just mentioned it in order to pretend to care, but didn't care enough to actually do the things that would make a difference.
And check out the bait-and-switch in this part:
Mike McGarry, founder and pastor at Youth Pastor Theologian, said his view on pronouns has changed over time.
“For the sake of evangelism, I simply use the gender and name that visitors ask me to use,” McGarry told CT. “But for students who grew up in the church or whom I already know … I share with them that using their preferred pronoun is really hard for me.”
McGarry said he tries to use their preferred names most of the time, which can allow him to take a more gracious posture toward a nonbelieving student.
When guiding youth leaders in ministry, McGarry recommends sticking with coed groupings to help avoid difficulties for those who struggle with gender identity. Asking them not to join a group with their preferred gender would feel “disingenuous,” he said.
Wow! So in other words, Mike McGarry pretends to accept trans people, to get them in the door, but for trans kids that are long-time members, he tells them he doesn't accept that. (What does he mean by "using their preferred pronoun is really hard for me"? Does it mean "I've known you for a long time, so it'll be hard to change my habits about the name/pronouns you used before you transitioned"? That is fine, just do your best. Or does it mean "whenever I think about calling you by your preferred pronoun, it just feels so wrong, like God is telling me it's wrong, and I just can't bring myself to do it"? Dude... find a different God.)
(I will say, though, McGarry's advice to avoid splitting up the kids into groups of boys and girls is the best piece of advice in this whole article.)
The whole article is like that. It's an article about cis Christians' opinions on what to do about trans people.
Hey, you know what would have been useful? If they had asked a trans Christian the question, "what should churches do to welcome trans people?" Wow, that's the kind of thing you do if you actually want an answer to the question! The article could have said "here's a Christian trans woman, let's hear what she has to say about this" but NOPE. Nope. LOL! Of course Christianity Today didn't do that! Of course not! Why would I have even thought that?
Of course this article is written with the assumption that trans Christians don't exist. Of course. It's a Christianity Today article, what did I expect?
You know what this article is actually about? It's not about how to welcome trans people. It's about what Christians can do to reassure themselves that they're good people, even though they don't accept that being trans is a real thing. Throughout the article, cis Christians talk about wanting to be welcoming, wanting to show people God's love, wanting to uphold God's design for gender, wanting to not "lie" by using someone's preferred pronouns- and the article is about how a Christian can convince themself that they've struck the right balance between all those things.
In other words, Christianity Today says Christians can identify as being welcoming to trans people, without doing any of the things that trans people actually define as being welcoming. That's what this is about.
I think it's really telling that this quote is in the article: "We should respect the conscience of the believer who cannot bring themselves to use someone’s preferred pronouns and the convictions of the believer who feels like using those pronouns is lying and unloving," instead of "We should respect trans people's gender identity. They know their own gender better than anyone else." That's Christianity Today's primary concern- making sure Christians feel like they're following God's rules correctly. NOT making sure Christians are truly being welcoming to trans people.
This article is a bunch of cis Christians talking about what to do to feel like they're welcoming trans people. Apparently they don't care about whether trans people actually feel welcomed or not.
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And one more thing. Let me tell you about the God I believe in.
I believe in a God who spoke to Abram, an old man with 1 child (Ishmael, who was treated like he didn't really even "count" as Abram's child), and said, "Your name is Abraham, which means 'father of many.'" Do you ever see evangelicals reading that story and saying, "God shouldn't have said that, because it wasn't biological reality"?
Jesus, who said to Simon, "You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it," while Peter was still immature and impulsive, not like a "rock" at all.
This God calls trans people by their correct name and pronouns, even if nobody else does. Even if nobody else believes what they say about their gender.
God who made the night and the day and everything in between. God who made the sea and the land and everything in between. God who made male and female and everything in between.
All people are made in God's image. All people, of every gender- that is the image of God. God is all genders. They are female and male and nonbinary. They are genderqueer.
Why do evangelicals want to believe in a God who forces everyone into the black-and-white boxes of the gender binary? God can't be contained to those boxes, just like trans and nonbinary people can't be contained to those boxes.
And I'm thankful to trans and nonbinary people, for showing us how vast and beautiful the concept of gender can be. Come live in the glorious rainbow world, in the freedom of being who God made you to be!
I used to believe in a God who wanted to force everyone to conform to the rules about "God's design for gender" and such things. Any deviation was a sin that needed to be repressed. Constantly feeling like we aren't good enough because we can't repress all our feelings- that's what Christianity was to me back then.
But now, I see people, and I see how amazing they are. Why would we want to limit and repress this? Human creativity, ambition, passion, love- all of that is the image of God. How could you tell people to repress it? How could you tell people to change and limit themselves so they conform to "God's rules"?
The Christianity Today article has a line that says, "Now I’m more often getting questions about how ‘How do I reach people who identify as LGBTQIA with the gospel?’" Reach LGBTQIA people with the gospel? What? I experience the gospel in the queer community all the time. Love each other. Accept each other. Love God by valuing the diversity of human experience. Evangelicals are the ones who need to learn the gospel from queer people.
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Also, for anyone interested in an ACTUAL ANSWER to the question of how churches can welcome trans people, here are some links:
How to Tell if Your Church is Welcoming for Transgender People
Being a pastor for trans people
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Related:
The Bible, Trans People, and Names
Dear Christians: Here's how to ACTUALLY love transgender people (this is a list of links I gathered in 2015- some links are broken now)
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