tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post206837304168062395..comments2023-12-27T19:24:48.254-05:00Comments on Tell me why the world is weird: The Story of Me and Modestyperfectnumber628http://www.blogger.com/profile/10303683510076315803noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-23733247106525486692015-02-27T23:28:19.457-05:002015-02-27T23:28:19.457-05:00This is basically the best article on modesty I ha...This is basically the best article on modesty I have ever read. THANK YOU.naomi cruznoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-64350393402894370772014-07-11T13:38:38.891-04:002014-07-11T13:38:38.891-04:00Late reply, but I stumbled here from a recent cros...Late reply, but I stumbled here from a recent cross reference to your brilliant creepy guy posting.<br /><br />I went through that survey (not as a participant) but as an intellectual exercise when it was still available online. I found the responses and conclusions arbitrary and inconsistent.<br /><br />I want to talk about the too oft repeated phrase on Christian blogs about modesty: usually a bikini (or less frequently for male clothing) that "leaves little to the imagination." That statement presupposes I can do nothing but imagine you out of that bikini, and therefore you should not wear it. How far do you take that? If you wore baggy sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants, I could imagine you in shorts and a t-shirt underneath, which I could then imagine you out of those shorts. How short are they under the sweatpants?<br /><br />I have also read a man state he would no longer go to the gym, because of the immodest clothing of the women in the gym, another who would not go to the beach in France, because of the immodest women at the beach. In the first instance the man would compromise his own fitness for his imagination. Most fitness wear is such to allow free body movement. As a natural consequence he would insist for the sake of modesty that you refrain from wearing common female fitness wear. This often leads to your shame. Both your shame and these admonishments to dress "modestly" create a negative body image and condition you avoid any situation where you might be curvy or imagined naked. You then refrain from keeping your shameful body fit and healthy. Do you see the possible detrimental consequence to my insistence you avoid any opportunity to allow me to imagine you naked? You have spoken in your blog of spiritual/mental health, do you see effect physical health!<br /><br />In the second instance the man is stating he is not responsible for his own thoughts, that those naughty French women are by definition immodest. He is making an absolute standard of modestly by his own cultural bias. Female toplessness may still be immodest, if legal, by French cultural standards, but that is not at issue. In Germany and Finland it is modest, and in fact required to be nude in the sauna. There are still bounds of modesty, even in a situation of complete nudity, e.g. body position and no loud talking. The participants are not "nudists" but take the sauna in what is deemed the correct manner. Lust is not a factor, although i would assume both these men think otherwise. <br /><br />In all these instances modesty is defined by the situation. A tight swimsuit is necessary for a competitive swimmer. Is competitive swimming therefore by definition immodest and to be avoided? Many sports may cause a female to "bounce" despite a "sports bra." Should these be avoided? How is fitness not a Christian value?Nick Cnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-63674576906753719752013-10-22T22:24:50.359-04:002013-10-22T22:24:50.359-04:00This is my favorite comment ever. ^_^This is my favorite comment ever. ^_^perfectnumber628http://tellmewhytheworldisweird.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-22067021739319105792013-10-18T12:32:00.657-04:002013-10-18T12:32:00.657-04:00Being that God is presumable not a male teenager (...Being that God is presumable not a male teenager (and has seen us in the shower), the theology behind worrying about God judging our clothing is mind-boggling.Ryan Blanchardhttp://faithlikeaman.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-8153561232276392622013-08-11T21:28:16.025-04:002013-08-11T21:28:16.025-04:00That's fine if that's what you feel comfor...That's fine if that's what you feel comfortable with, but I have to take issue with the part where you said "God would like it covered." How can we know what God wants, in enough detail to decide "this outfit is approved by God, and this one is not"? Also God is eternal, present in every culture in the world throughout all of history- and cultural standards for what is acceptable and "modest" vary immensely throughout the world and throughout time. Would God's supposed "standard" for modesty be universal or would it be different in each context?perfectnumber628http://tellmewhytheworldisweird.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-40171118038164427342013-08-10T10:44:44.580-04:002013-08-10T10:44:44.580-04:00It's all about what you feel comfortable with:...It's all about what you feel comfortable with: I choose the dress modest because I am representing God and although my body is beautiful, God would like it covered. I choose to dress modest because if Jesus would come back right now, I could not look him in his almighty and perfect face and say what in wearing is acceptable. I live in this world, but should not be OF it. :-) Have a blessed day.Alicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-33082132316409141912013-06-26T11:48:37.819-04:002013-06-26T11:48:37.819-04:00Thank you for these words. I am so glad I found t...Thank you for these words. I am so glad I found this.momof3girlsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-31602535983334874382013-04-16T09:37:55.647-04:002013-04-16T09:37:55.647-04:00Shaney Irene, I appreciate that comment. Yours, t...Shaney Irene, I appreciate that comment. Yours, too, Guy Searching Blogs. I'M LISTENING. I'm a mom trying to get it right. It's so confusing. I still have one daughter at home, so I appreciate your words. I realized about a year ago that Victorian does not equal godly. What a revelation! I began to see which of my opinions stemmed from that era and which from the Bible, what a shock! Perfectnumber628, your sweetness comes through your blog. I don't think you're casting off thinking-of-others, you're just trying to think it all through, and my husband and I think you've done a thorough job, laying it all out with the graphics as you did. I wish I could talk to you after you've had a husband and raised some kids ... how wise you're gonna be! (I do long to talk to someone old and wise who's not Victorian.) Stay close to the Lord; He's leading you and you're going to be an awesome wife and mother with an influence for sweetness in the world.<br />earthynolonger.blogspot.comLisa McLeannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-4059590585712630712013-03-27T09:58:08.959-04:002013-03-27T09:58:08.959-04:00Totally agree. People should wear what makes them ...Totally agree. People should wear what makes them feel comfortable- instead of feeling like you NEED to dress a certain way or else you're hating the guys. Personally I don't wear revealing stuff either, because I don't like how it looks. Also I've never been able to wear skinny jeans. Too tight everywhere, totally not comfortable. :)perfectnumber628http://tellmewhytheworldisweird.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-78790976399363476542013-03-27T06:23:59.794-04:002013-03-27T06:23:59.794-04:00I'm not an evangelical Christian and never was...I'm not an evangelical Christian and never was. I'm an atheist, in fact. And I dress very conservatively for a girl in her mid-twenties. Most of my pants are loose-fitting, ditto shirts. Most of my skirts are long, loose ones and I don't own a single miniskirt anymore. And it has nothing to do with modesty, it just makes more sense.<br /><br /><br />I used to dress in the typical short-shorts and tiny tops and so on, and I was constantly having to tug on this and pull up that and sit a certain way so my crotch didn't show and never bend over, and constantly check to make sure my bra wasn't showing, and it drove me up the wall. Skinny jeans are well nigh impossible to get on or off. (In fact there was a rape case I heard about where the accused man was acquitted because the alleged victim was wearing skinny jeans. She claimed he'd yanked the jeans off of her, but the jury didn't believe you could remove someone's skinny jeans without their consent. I think they're right. When I wore them I practically had to peel them off like tape and the socks and underwear tended to come off with them whether I wanted them to or not.)<br /><br /><br />It makes no sense for someone to wear clothes they cannot comfortably move around in. Plus I'm really skinny and get cold easily and want warmer clothes. It's a bit of a challenge to find a dress that has both long sleeves and a long skirt. Usually if the dress is long it's strapless or whatever, or if it has long sleeves it's a minidress; neither of those are going to keep me warm.<br /><br /><br />Anyway, my point -- there's a great deal to be said for dressing in modest clothing, and it's not all "moral" or "religious."Meaghan Goodhttp://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=57301321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-8093497357724564112013-03-12T17:08:35.448-04:002013-03-12T17:08:35.448-04:00"I personally don't care about modesty at..."I personally don't care about modesty at all anymore" <-- yes, I am so there now. It used to make me so uncomfortable and uneasy trying to find clothes, and modeling them in front of the mirror, worrying about my big butt and wide hips. I was being "told" that I had to hide those curves, and I honestly felt sick anytime I wore something that showed off those curves because I was paranoid that all of the men around me were looking at me and "lusting" after me. That is such a sick place for a young teenager to be in especially as she is growing up and is already uncomfortable in her own skin without all of this extra pressure. My daughters will never get their hands on this stuff until they are old enough to understand the crap that the "modesty survey" really is.Caleigh Royerhttp://twitter.com/profligatetruthnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-50358569748345502612013-03-06T20:47:50.174-05:002013-03-06T20:47:50.174-05:00Indeed. Actually, when I was asking my boyfriend a...Indeed. Actually, when I was asking my boyfriend about this, he was incredibly insulted at the idea that men just think about naked women all the time.perfectnumber628http://tellmewhytheworldisweird.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-9984809914706557102013-03-06T19:31:43.139-05:002013-03-06T19:31:43.139-05:00I was explaining to my boyfriend once about this w...I was explaining to my boyfriend once about this whole modesty is to help men thing and he exclaims "Thant's bull! That's not helping that's being an enabler. We can too control ourselves!" Every male I have talked too who was not raised in a conservative christian family agrees with that statement. So, it looks to me that modesty does more harm than good on both sides.Calnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-4042205236049473502013-02-17T21:41:57.221-05:002013-02-17T21:41:57.221-05:00I had a similar reaction to that survey. "Wha...I had a similar reaction to that survey. "What... you mean zipping up my sweater wrong causes guys to lust? How...how am I supposed to do this then?" Followed by weeks of wondering whether all men were staring at me and my not-fully-zipped-up sweater. (With a shirt underneath, mind you.) Finally I came to the same conclusion you did. It's not worth my stress and feelings of self consciousness to try and control someone else's impulses for them. It's not my responsibility to do that. They can man up and not molest me in their minds, thanks.Allisonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-19625710502307267102013-02-13T23:59:07.192-05:002013-02-13T23:59:07.192-05:00If One were to count the number of times in the Bi...If One were to count the number of times in the Bible in which modesty (keeping certain body parts covered) was used to combat lust, one would count all the way to zero. Yet, i've seen Christians assign some of the blame for David's adultery to Bathsheba - if she wasn't bathing out in the open, David probably wouldn't have fallen for her slutty ways.<br />As a man, I find it insulting to hear women cover to prevent my "lust." Why they assume my failure is beyond me and why they assume I will fail/lust against them is rather egotistical (just like assuming she - the unknown woman in the mall - is dressing that way for my benefit.FatherOf4noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-13027648687275623572013-02-08T15:41:14.889-05:002013-02-08T15:41:14.889-05:00So Mitt Romney wearing mom jeans is considered imm...So Mitt Romney wearing mom jeans is considered immodest by 15% of respondents?VJBinCTnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-50750187251315867622013-02-08T10:51:39.752-05:002013-02-08T10:51:39.752-05:00Totally agree. And if modesty is about keeping the...Totally agree. And if modesty is about keeping the guys from thinking certain thoughts, it seems like asking them directly "is this immodest?" would make them think those thoughts. Like you said, it's the "don't think about pink elephants" thing.perfectnumber628http://tellmewhytheworldisweird.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-13208209913247840792013-02-08T06:22:39.273-05:002013-02-08T06:22:39.273-05:00The survey itself is extremely biased - instead of...The survey itself is extremely biased - instead of just, I don't know, lying the clothes flat on the floor, or putting them on blank generally shapeless mannequin and asking "Is this necklace/shirt design/etc modest", they wrote out questions referencing the specific body parts that various innocuous fashion styles might call attention to. So that sparked the whole memory thing that's referred to as the "pink elephant" or something similar, where the more you try to not think about something, the harder it is to not think about it.Raenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-54369992423719593342013-01-26T09:57:38.151-05:002013-01-26T09:57:38.151-05:00Thanks! Yeah, isn't it a little suspicious how...Thanks! Yeah, isn't it a little suspicious how the premise of "modesty" is "let's help the men" but it results in believing that men are animals, etc etc- that doesn't seem so nice and helpful...perfectnumber628http://tellmewhytheworldisweird.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-26900180739294450122013-01-26T07:34:00.082-05:002013-01-26T07:34:00.082-05:00Ooh, I remember when this survey came out! The ma...Ooh, I remember when this survey came out! The main thing that struck me is how physically restrictive it would be. I mean I don't care about dressing in cute or pretty ways, and I like baggy hard-wearing unfeminine stuff. But I also like to bend, stretch, wear t-shirts for my favorite team, climb fences, and generally live my life without constantly analyzing my body position for the potential to induce lust. If the survey holds true, I'm a "stumbling block" because I <i>don't</i> spend a lot of mental energy dwelling on how guys feel about my looks and altering my behavior to inspire a particular result. If I wanted to meet the survey's definition of modest, I'd have to focus my life around thinking of all of the ways my body could be considered sexual and planning every motion around it, which is ostensibly the opposite of what the modesty advocates want. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8626292304461574111.post-30421020341634200732013-01-25T17:58:12.987-05:002013-01-25T17:58:12.987-05:00This was a very interesting post! Honestly, I car...This was a very interesting post! Honestly, I care more about true beauty because true modesty comes from the heart. Modesty is just being proper in conduct... And not in a weird way... But in a lady or gentleman kind of way :) great points!<br /><br />Www.shewithunveiledface.comSarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14706858961066109003noreply@blogger.com