Vote!

Sticker with an American flag logo, and the text "I Voted From China." Image source.

I voted! Mailed my absentee ballot, all the way from China. If you need an absentee ballot for the November elections, there is still time to register and get one. Check out these sites for information:
Vote From Abroad
Absentee and Early Voting

Also, I am donating to the Voting Rights Project, to help ALL AMERICANS be able to exercise our right to vote. If you have money, consider donating~

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[content note for sexual assault in this section of the blog post]

So... I haven't said much about what's going on with the Supreme Court this week. I just stuck to my already-scheduled blog posts, because this whole thing is just too emotionally difficult.

Three things I have to say though:

First, Dr. Ford is a hero.

the kingdom of heaven is like thousands of women tweeting #IBelieveChristineBlaseyFord

— Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018年9月28日

Second, because of all this, I now realize that if I had been sexually assaulted in college, I 100% would not have known it was sexual assault, I 100% would have blamed myself, I 100% would have felt guilty over not "protecting my purity." In college there was this fraternity house I used to hang out at a lot, because a bunch of my friends were brothers, and I just keep thinking about this one time when I was going home really late at night and I wondered if I should just go to the fraternity house and sleep on the couch in their common room, because my own dorm was all the way on the other side of campus.

But I decided no, because... ugh, because I was attracted to some of the boys in the fraternity, and I had been "lusting" recently when I was there... and I thought that if "something happened" it would be because I let myself fall asleep there, and when I'm sleepy I'm less able to "fight temptation" and I might just "let" it happen... and I would lose my purity and it would be my fault. So no, I didn't go to the fraternity house that night.

It never, ever crossed my mind that, if I sleep on the common room couch, and wake up and there's a boy on top of me, touching me, then that's sexual assault and the boy is doing a bad thing and he should be reported and he should be punished. Nope. All I thought about was, I'm attracted to some of the boys here, and I choose to fall asleep- it means on some level, I want *something* to happen. And that's what I get for being so careless with my purity.

Ugh, thank goddess that never happened to me. Purity culture is a hell of a drug.

Third, let's donate to support survivors of sexual assault. You can donate to RAINN, or if you know of other organizations that work to protect women's rights or fight against sexual assault, leave a comment on this post~

-------------------------------

And VOTE! Everyone, vote!

Here, listen to the song "Work" by Rihanna, but sing "vote" instead of "work":

I Still Don't Know What They Meant By "Lust"

Very 90's style of graphic design, image text says "Why open your legs when you can open the Bible? I only bust it open for Jesus." Has a picture of some guy ... laying around trying to be cool? Image source.

So I saw the above image on twitter a few months ago, and it's been bothering me.

There were a bunch of replies on twitter, laughing about how ridiculous this is, and how apparently "bust it open" means opening one's legs in order to have sex... everyone is giggling about it, but I feel left out because if I had seen this back when I believed in all that "sexual purity" stuff, I wouldn't have really *got* how ridiculous it was.

Back then, in high school and college, I was vaguely aware that "open your legs" was somehow related to sex, but I had no idea how. And I had no awareness that it was something that a lot of people were actually interested in doing. But I did read the bible every day and that was really really important to me. What I'm trying to say is, "Why open your legs when you can open the Bible?" sounds like the sort of thing you would say if you're asexual but don't even know what asexuality is, and therefore have no real understanding of the fact that most people desire sex.

I see people laughing about it on twitter, and I feel left out because I know that back then, I wouldn't have gotten the joke.

And you know what? Christian purity-culture advocates made sure I wouldn't get the joke. I had no idea that the vast majority of people experience attraction differently than I do (specifically, they have sexual attraction and I don't), and of course I wasn't allowed to find out. It was dangerous "temptation" to learn about one's own desires, or to spend time thinking about anything related to sex.

So I thought everyone experiences attraction the same way I do.

My lack of knowledge and lack of desire made me "good" and "pure", according to that ideology. Or, mostly pure. I was sure I was dirty because I have SO MUCH romantic attraction, which means I'm not "guarding my heart", and I was sure my sensual attraction was "lust" which is pretty much the most dirty sinful thing ever, right? Because I couldn't force myself to be "perfect" and never have attraction at all, I was "cheating on my future husband." But no, of course I never even thought about having sex. Of course! Everyone knows women aren't really interested in sex.

(At least, that was what they taught in church.)

---------------------------------

This month's theme for the Carnival of Aces is "Asexuality Before AVEN," so I'm thinking about my life before I knew I was asexual, and about how things would be different now if I didn't have the language and concepts from the asexual community. Basically, I wouldn't HAVE A CLUE about SO MANY things related to attraction and sex. Because I would still be stuck thinking everyone experienced attraction the same way, and trying to force the evidence (my own feelings and what I saw other people doing) to fit into that paradigm.

The Christian teaching I received about sex assumed everyone was straight, and that all men feel a certain way about sex and romance, and all women feel a certain way about sex and romance. They informed me of what desires I had, or would have when I was older, or would have if I kissed a boy and "one thing led to another", or would have if I followed all the rules and didn't have sex until marriage. And I believed them! Can you imagine? I believed that other people were experts on my feelings- on desires I supposedly had, which I had never felt before.

Even in something as simplistic and cheesy as the kid-friendly answer to where babies come from- "when a man and a woman love each other very much ..."- even in that, there's the assumption that intimate love necessarily, automatically leads to sex. Not very ace-friendly. Over here in reality, when I tried to have sex for the first time, I loved my partner so much (and still do! we are married now!) but we literally could not figure out how to do penis-in-vagina sex that first time. We had to give up and try again another day.

And since then it's gotten better, but only because I've been doing a ton of research- reading sex-ed resources, reading erotica, masturbating, using sex toys, completely rethinking all my beliefs about male pleasure and my "wifely duty"... I have done A LOT OF WORK, because I do want to have sex with my husband. (Some asexuals want to have sex and some don't.) Nothing about this has been intuitive or natural. (Or rather, I have romantic and sensual attraction, so that part is intuitive and natural, but anything related to genitals is just ... why are we doing this...?)

---------------------------------

So in church they taught us that men feel like this and women feel like that. Without the asexual community, I never would have realized I don't "feel like that." It never would have occurred to me that not "feeling like that" was an option.

They used big, vague words like "crush" and "attraction" and "sex" and "desire" and "temptation" and "act on it" and "sexual sin" and "lust", and never explicitly defined any of them. Just assumed that everyone experiences attraction in the same way, so everyone who says they are "struggling with lust" means the same thing.

(And they also lumped all "sexual sin" in together, talked about it as if it was the same thing. From completely harmless things like masturbating, to sexual assault. How messed up is that.)

And now that I know I'm asexual, I realize that I definitely did not mean the same thing they meant when I said "lust." But I still don't know what they actually meant.

I remember back then, I used to talk as if everyone else was straight and experienced attraction the same way I did. "You know when you like a boy, and you feel [some specific thing I felt]..." I didn't stop to define terms or check if other people understood what I was talking about. I didn't realize I was making huge assumptions about how other people experience attraction. How could I? How could I have known I should take those things into consideration, when Christian role models in my life all told me "this is how you feel" as if all women feel the same way?

No, it wasn't until I found the concept of asexuality that I learned that people don't all "feel the same way." Everyone is unique, and the asexual community has given me the language to talk about my feelings and desires and discover how they may be the same or different from other people.

It really helps, knowing that I'm different and I don't have to think up some convoluted way to convince myself that actually yes I do feel those things that everybody supposedly feels. I wish I had  known that a long time ago. Back when I was "good" and "pure", I didn't have a clue.

---------------------------------

Related:
Miss me with your "we are all sexually broken" hot takes. I'm asexual.
The First Time I Heard Of Asexuality ...
Scripts
A Post About Masturbation

---------------------------------

This post is part of the September 2018 Carnival of Aces. This month's theme is "Asexuality Before AVEN."

Blogaround

A white cat with a strawberry on its head. Image source.

1. The Problem With Rape Kits (posted March 8) [content note: rape] Oof, this is hard to read.

2. Battle lines form over social justice: Is it gospel or heresy? (posted September 6) "Statements that dismiss social justice send a message that the ongoing marginalization many minorities still experience and struggle against is of no concern to their fellow Christians. Or to God."

3. The New Hip Churches are Fooling Google. They Pop Up as “Gay-friendly” — it’s a Hoax. (posted September 17) "Ask the lead pastor “Do you perform weddings for gay couples?” If the answer isn’t, simply, “yes,” … if it begins with a lengthy prelude like “Now that’s complicated issue, let’s step back for minute to unpack it,” you have your answer: NO."

4. Pando, the Word’s Heaviest Organism, is an Ever-Growing Witness of an Ancient Earth (posted September 18) Cool!

5. Pixar Theory: How Dante being an Alebrije EXPLAINS everything! (posted September 6) "It resolves every single piece of plot convenience in the entire film."

6. Is it a Sin to Take Showers? (posted September 23) "[INITIATE YOUTH PASTOR VOICE] But teens lemme get real with you. Isn’t that how sin works, amen?"

7. Pastor: Christians Should Skip the Weddings of Couples That Had Premarital Sex (posted September 25) Well would you look at that. John Piper seems to think everyone's unmarried sex life is his business. This is my surprised face.

8. Somebody DIED, Pat Robertson (posted September 15) "The mind boggles at just how lacking in compassion someone must be to think that any god would rather spare some business buildings than a dozen lives and thousands of homes." And THIS is why I don't pray any more.

Don't ever tell me it was a good thing. Don't ever tell me it was God's plan.

Image text: "If this is God's plan, God is a terrible planner." Image source.

Note from Perfect Number: So I wrote this post a long time ago, but I didn't publish it back then because the whole situation sucked and I didn't want to talk about it. And it felt too personal to publish something with such strong negative emotions. Luckily, my life is much better now and I don't have those particular emotions about it, so it feels less "personal" to publish it now.

And on Monday I published my review of VeggieTales "The Ballad of Little Joe", which was a story about being disgustingly optimistic when bad, unjust things happen to us, believing those things are "God's plan" and we just need to accept the situation and trust God.

My story here is sort of the "other side" of the story we saw in "The Ballad of Little Joe."

--------------------------------

[content note: this is an angry post about losing my job, and Christian platitudes]

A while ago, I lost my job. And I didn't really tell many people about it, because I was afraid there would be people who wouldn't believe me- and if someone doesn't believe me, they don't deserve to hear any details about my life. And if I have to do the work of offering evidence and then waiting for whoever's listening decide if it's my fault or not, decide if they're going to be on my side or not, that's more emotional trauma that I'm not willing to put myself through.

So what happened is, the company illegally broke the contract, it came out of nowhere, and they said a bunch of lies about me. But now I'm at a different job, a much better job, and I have a higher salary now.

And I stay out of Christian culture as much as I can nowadays, so fortunately I haven't had anyone say any ****ed up stuff about how this is God's plan and everything worked out so it's all good.

See, there are Christians who would look at my old job and my current job, look at the amount of money, and say that I'm in a better situation now, so actually this was a good thing that happened to me. And God did it.

And just ignore everything in between. As if that doesn't matter. As if, because I have a better salary now, everything is fine.

I am not fine.

You think I'm ****ing fine? You think there are no long-term consequences when people that I trusted suddenly turn evil? You believe in a God who thinks that emotional damage isn't a real thing- or at least, its effects can be totally negated by a big number on a paycheck?

F*** that God.

I am not fine. Now I can't trust anyone who works in HR- are all HR people secretly evil? They act nice, but are they suddenly going to screw me over? And I feel scared I'll lose my job again- everything seems fine, but I thought everything seemed fine last time too.

Any time I'm at work and somebody says, "come here, we're having a meeting," I feel nervous.

If you think this is something that God wanted to happen to me, and it's all good because I have more money, then **** you.

I'm an immigrant. I have a residence permit which allows me to be in China legally. But that's dependent on having a job. When I lost my job, I had a few months before my residence permit would expire, and that meant I only had that much time to find a new job and navigate the sea of bureaucracy that is China- and if I'm not able to get a new residence permit in time, I have to leave the country.

A loving God does not do that to people.

It "all worked out", okay, sure, it "all worked out." I did find a better job and get a new residence permit. And Christians would tell me I should have trusted God instead of being so worried- see, it "all worked out", and that means I was wrong to be worried. Well f*** that. As if it's totally fine for God to just throw someone into an overwhelmingly stressful situation, because God knows it's going to "all work out" and there's not *actually* any danger of getting kicked out of China. Like God is allowed to just do anything they want to people, and then we're the ones who are wrong for having a completely reasonable emotional reaction to what is objectively a very stressful situation.

God knows it will "all work out" so any worry and stress we suffer is our fault, we're the ones in the wrong for not "trusting God"- yeah, f*** that. It's like threatening someone and then laughing at them because haha, what are they so scared about, they should have known you didn't really mean it. That's what all this "trust God" crap is about.

It's like hiding your friend's phone and then watching them panic about it for a few hours. You let them think it got stolen, and then after a while you give it back. See, everything is fine. You knew all along it wasn't stolen and there was nothing to worry about. Therefore you did nothing wrong and your friend was wrong to be worried.

Well, Christians would say, this is God's way of helping you leave a job that wasn't good for you and end up in a better situation. Okay, if that's true, then God really sucks at this. Why can't God just COMMUNICATE? Why can't God tell me "hey you could totally look for a better job"? Does God seriously think the best way to move me from job A to job B is to have a bunch of people that I thought cared about me suddenly turn evil and say a lot of nasty lies about me?

F*** that God. Seriously. F*** that God.

Does God seriously think that having me all worried about GETTING F***ING DEPORTED is a perfectly reasonable way to "help" me change to a better job? **** that.

It's like if you're just standing around and somebody comes up and starts hitting you, hitting you, over and over and you try to get away from them and they keep hitting you over and over, and then you see a huge truck drive past, right where you had been standing... See, this random hitting person saved your life. If they had just let you stand there, you would have been hit by a truck. You would have died. And so, even though they hit you and it hurt, they did nothing wrong because your current situation is better than what it would have been if they had not intervened at all. That is, apparently, the standard we hold God to- no matter how much pain God puts you through, as long as you end up better off than you were before, God did nothing wrong. **** that.

And I keep reasurring myself, it's okay to be angry at the people at my old job who did this. It's okay to hate them. It's okay to never forgive them. (I plan on never interacting with them ever again- if I were going to actually do something to them, then I would need to spend a lot of time seriously thinking about the difference between justice and revenge- because I believe in justice but not revenge. But I'm not going to do anything to them. Just hate them by myself, that's all.)

And you know who else can **** off? Christians who want to tell me I need to forgive, or some crap like that. **** you, and stop policing people's emotions. With an extra special "**** you" to the Christians who are like "there's a lot of misunderstanding about what 'forgiveness' means, it doesn't mean deciding what happened was okay, it doesn't mean reconciling, it means [word salad about doing it to benefit yourself]." No. "Forgiveness", as I was taught, was about policing emotions, rules about what I'm allowed or not allowed to feel when someone hurts me, and I'm not interested in reclaiming that word. And it's useless to claim a word doesn't *really* mean what most people understand it to mean. They only do that because they believe forgiveness is required by God, so then they try to change the meaning of "forgiveness" so it's not such an emotionally unhealthy thing to require from people. Yeah, how about instead you just leave me alone.

And then there are Christians who are like, "well maybe God was trying to teach you something." Well maybe **** you. If God was "trying to teach me something", God failed, and that's not my f***ing fault. In that ideology, God causes bad things to happen to people, intending that they will learn some kind of deep life lesson- and then if I end up all angry instead of learning said life lesson, it's my fault, God did nothing wrong. COME ON!

How are people getting away with this "maybe God was trying to teach you something" crap? Spinning it like "God did this thing to you, and it was for good reasons, you're the one who is in the wrong for not seeing that," when, if it really was true that "God was trying to teach me something," that would mean God really really ****ed up, because I didn't learn some nice lesson, instead I have anxiety about my job, and have a hard time trusting people. YEAH GOOD JOB GOD.

**** all that. **** those nice platitudes about God causing bad things to happen to me because of some mysterious good reason. **** all the Christians who are so attached to their "God has a plan" ideology that they don't care about my emotional health- claiming that the trauma I went through doesn't matter because I have more money now, or that I'm the one who did something wrong by not "trusting God."

I'm an optimist, okay? I can compare my current situation to my old job and see things that are better now, and choose to focus on those things. That's good, that's a strategy that people use to cope with bad things that happen to them. But that doesn't mean, in a literal sense, that what happened to me actually was a good thing. If you start claiming that, that's when you get into ideas that are really really damaging.

If "my life is better now because of events that were directly or indirectly caused by this thing happening" means that the thing was A Good Thing, then the only way that I can claim that losing my job was A Bad Thing is if my life completely and totally sucks forever after. And I do not want my life to completely and totally suck, so I'm making the best of the situation I'm in, always working toward a better future. And I will not let anyone use my success as evidence that what happened wasn't actually bad, that God did it to me on purpose in order to help me get the good things I have now. F*** all of that.

------------------------

Related:
How Suffering Did NOT Bring Me Closer To God
God of Bad Snaps

Perfect Number Watches VeggieTales "The Ballad of Little Joe" (2003)

Welcome to #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales! Let's watch "The Ballad of Little Joe" (2003)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFTRuFG4EVI …

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

veggietales themeeeeee songggggg #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

if you like to waltz with potatoes
up and down the produce aisle
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

LIMA BEANS
COLLARD GREENS
PEACHY KEEN
VEGGIETALES
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

We open up w Bob & Larry on the countr #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

They got a letter from Pete who says "I'm depressed" bc all his friends are in a different class #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Larry says "i thought we were gonna do a western this time" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Bob says they need to tell a bible story. Larry says he was promised a western.
Bob: "Larry & I have decided what you really need is a western bible story." #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The Ballad of Little Joe #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

cowboys are the French peas
Larry explains "it was a French western" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

oh my godddddddddddddd
Jude (one of the cowboys) shows up & everybody is like "HEY JUDE" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Larry plays Little Joe. God gave him great organizational abilities. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

WAIT WAIT WAIT YOU GUYS you need to see these sheep "in groups of 10" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/YMXdqT96ow

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Pa Grape calls them all in for dinner #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Today is Little Joe's birthday. They sing him a birthday song. The brothers all seem jealous because Pa likes Joe the best. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Pa gave him a fancy vest #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The brothers said they all got mittens for their birthdays- it means their dad thinks they are not special #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe tells them all abt his dream. 11 cacti (the brothers) bowed down to 1 cactus (Joe) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe: "why are we at this old abandoned mine shaft?" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

oh no, the brothers pushed him in #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

oh no, the brothers sold him to some desperados #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

.... one year later .....
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Little Joe is working at a pizza place, owned by Scooter Carrot. He sings a song how much his business is going because of Joe. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Madame Blueberry is a performer at this pizza place. She sings a sad song about how her life sucks. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

"even my dog is a melancholy" lololol #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

She is annoyed by how Joe keeps yelling "get your hot roasted peanuts" during her song #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

omgggg Scooter's character is named Mr. McPotiphor #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Madame Blueberry is jealous of Joe.
She tells him "take this money & get out of here"
Joe says stealing is wrong #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Blueberry suddenly accuses Joe of stealing- oh no, all the money fell out of his cow costume! This looks bad. Joe goes to jail. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

instead of "Silly Songs With Larry", we have, uh... a boy band? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/p4luNNwpEr

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

It's the "Belly Button" song. By "Boyz in the Sink" oh my goddddd #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

oh goodness this is the best thing ever #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

"Baby
He needs to tell you something
I don't got a belly button" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

"There's something missing in my middle & it's hard to ignore
There's this thing abt himself he's never told you before"
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

wut suddenly Khalil (from the "Jonah" movie) shows up and does a rap #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/Gb6kMBT9Oi

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

THIS MUSIC VIDEO IS SO GOOD
this is 100% a 90s boy band song #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Back to the story of Little Joe. He's in jail. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The prisoners & sheriff are singing abt how Joe made the jail so much better in the past year #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

"But my belief that god is good helps overcome frustration
so i'll keep doing what is right despite incarceration"
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe says God is good. Sheriff (Bob) says if God is good, why does this bad stuff happen to Joe. Joe says he doesn't know now but he will someday. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The 2 prisoners have dreams- Joe tells them the meaning #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The baker got his old job back. The blacksmith got sent UP THE RIVERRRRRR #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe explains "I've always had this thing for dreams. Just another way God made me special." #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe prays to ask God why his dream (abt 11 cacti bowing to him) hasn't come true #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The mayor (Nezzar) had a bad dream. The baker says Joe can help interpret it! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Mayor goes & asks Joe if it's true he can interpret dreams. Joe says no, does the dramatic pause, & then says ACTUALLY IT'S GOD #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe says the dream means there will be 7 good years & then 7 years of famine #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

They need someone with great organizational skills to save up food during the good years. Joe gets the job! #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe (Larry the Cucumber) has a giant hat now #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/ejYCz7VtMy

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

They saved up food in a silo. Suddenly a big dust storm comes in. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Nezzar congratulates Joe for saving the town. But Joe is worried his family will be affected by the famine. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The brothers are approaching Joe to buy food. Music & special effects like a showdown #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

"one of our brothers got eaten in a wild gopher accident" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe instructs sheriff to give the brothers whatever they ask for, but don't let them leave yet #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

"Them ain't pepperonis, pardner" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/bOfxHGTy9m

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Baby Ben is caught stealing (but actually it's a test #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Jude says take him instead & let Ben go. The peas all jump through the jail bars into the cell #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe reveals his identity
They all bow down
Joe says "what you intended for harm, god used for good, to save everyone" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

OH MY GODDDDDD Pa Grape suddenly pops in & says "YOU BOYS FORGOT YOUR MITTENS" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales pic.twitter.com/QzG0Y1g0jK

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Pa Grape is so happy to see Joe alive <3 #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The end. Now we are with Bob, Larry, & Qwerty to talk abt what we learned #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

good things & bad things happen to everyone #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

but god can use the good stuff & the bad stuff #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

So, to Pete who wrote the letter at the beginning of the show, even though you're not in the class w your friends, God will still use it for good #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

That's the end of VeggieTales "The Ballad of Little Joe." Let's discuss. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

All right, the story of Joseph (uh, Little Joe) is very complex & can't really be simplified to one lesson. Each part has a whole bunch of interpretations. So where do i start... #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

First of all, their dad shows obvious favoritism to Joe. in the bible story, it's because Joseph & Benjamin were the children of his favorite wife (of 4). Veggietales didn't get into that though. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

It's not good that their dad so obviously loved Joe more than all the other kids. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Next, Joe announces he had a dream where all the brothers bowed to him. Yeah that was a bad move. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

But when I was a kid i totally did stuff like that, just directly & honestly said how i felt abt something without realizing it would come across as insensitive to other ppl #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

like i don't think that's the kid's fault, i think someone should explain to them why it might come across badly #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

but maybe in the actual story of Joseph and/or Little Joe, he wasn't just oblivious, maybe he was openly bragging abt how he is the most special #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Well, the VeggieTales story definitely didn't go that way- they portray Joe as never ever doing anything wrong. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Then the brothers- led by Jude (or Judah, in the bible story) sell Joe as a slave. The morality of a society which condones slavery wasn't commented on in the VeggieTales version (or in the bible version) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Then Joe works at Potiphar's pizza salon. Miss Kitty (Madame Blueberry) is jealous of him, so she frames him for stealing. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

This is *interesting* because in the bible story, she first tries to have sex w him, then when he refuses, she accuses him of rape #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Note, however, that if Potiphar's wife coerced Joseph into having sex, she would be raping him. Because of the power imbalance- he is a slave & doesn't really have the option of saying no. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Christians frame this story as "she was trying to seduce him" but no. He was not able to give consent freely. It would have been coerced, & that's sexual assault. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Like look what happened when Joseph said no. She had him put in jail. That's not a situation where real consent is possible. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

And like, in that kind of society, people did sexually assault their slaves. & it's not as simple as "they should just say no like Joseph" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Anyway in the VeggieTales story, she accuses him of stealing, & Joe goes to jail. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

I feel very bothered by how happy Joe was while working as a slave, & while in jail. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Like sure, some people have an optimistic personality & would cope with that kind of injustice by just doing their best & being content with that, that's fine, but... #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

...i feel like it's a problem that he's presented as a role model. As if to say that if you respond in other ways to unfair things in your life, you are being bad #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Like it's saying if you're a victim, you should still do your best & have a positive outlook on life, or else you're being a victim THE WRONG WAY & you are being bad. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

& maybe the VeggieTales story wasn't directly saying that, but it exists in the context of a Christian culture which does explicitly condemn ppl who respond to suffering in their lives the "wrong" way #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

see also: "bitter" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Like if it's just 1 isolated story of 1 person who felt good & happy even though he was thrown in jail unjustly, that's fine, but the problem is that he's presented as THE role model #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

& to be honest, i think the biblical story of Joseph is complicated enough that nobody is clearly a "role model" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Anyway, while in jail, Joe is so confident that "god is good" & there must be a reason these bad things happened to him #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Joe is confident he should just keep following the rules of a society that has treated him unjustly & then "god" will make things better #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Like why DOESN'T he take the money & run when Miss Kitty offers it? He's being kept as a SLAVE. A slaveowner's rules aren't worthy of his obedience. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

I mean, it's more complicated than that, Joe respects Potiphar & cares abt him, maybe fears how ppl would gossip if he ran away, maybe afraid of being caught (could be a trap set by Miss Kitty), etc #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

So maybe it wouldn't be a good idea to try to escape. But at least it's something worth considering- not just dismissing immediately bc "god says stealing is wrong" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

My point is, Joe has total faith that it's right for him to keep following the rules set up by ppl who have shown complete disregard for justice. ...you really think that's going to work? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Seems like the lesson is that if ppl treat you wrong, you should just keep passively "doing the right thing" rather than actively trying to change your situation #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

& maybe in the bible story, joseph WAS actively trying to change his situation. Maybe he was working as The Best Slave Ever so he could gain more power & maybe get his freedom. ie "for selfish reasons" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

that's not how it was portrayed in the veggietales version though.
Joe is being good bc "it's the right thing to do", he's just following the rules & not thinking abt how to get HIMSELF out of a bad situation #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

All right then we get the thing abt interpreting dreams.
Show of hands: How many of you ROLLED YOUR EYES SO HARD when Joe was like "no i can't" & waited for everyone to react & then was like "God can" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

pretty sure "Joseph: King of Dreams" pulled that exact same Jesus Juke (or whatever the BCE equivalent would be) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Anybody else think it's WEIRD that the Mayor has a bad dream & that's a good enough reason to do this whole 7-year-long food storage thing? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

like it makes sense that it would happen in a culture where
1. ppl believe dreams have messages abt the future
2. the king is seen as a super important figure, like a representative from god #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

I suppose they had the evidence of the baker & cupbearer's dream interpretation being correct, so maybe it's reasonable #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Note: In the bible story of Joseph, the Egyptians end up giving joseph all their money to buy back the food during the years of famine. & their land. & themselves. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Pretty shady for Joseph to take advantage of them like that #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Anyway, then Joe's brothers come to buy food. He gets very emotional. Wants to "test" if they have changed their ways. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Again, the morality of Joseph's "test" is something we can debate endlessly. It's not like he is clearly a role model we should follow. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

But i think it's good in that it demonstrates it's reasonable to not just immediately forgive & be ready to be emotionally vulnerable w someone who hurt you- you have to make sure you can trust them again #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

The point is, the brothers say they are willing to take Ben's place. They have changed. (Even though there still is the issue of the dad very obviously favoring 1 kid) #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Anyway in the end it's 1 big happy family reunion. Umm, i think in real life Joseph would need a lot of therapy & not really be ready to be with his brothers right away #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

In the end, Bob & Larry wrapped up the story by saying it teaches us that good & bad things happen but god will use the bad things for good #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

I think this lesson is a problem- it implies that we should just stay in a bad situation, believing that it's not actually bad #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

& therefore Bob's advice to the child who said he was "depressed" bc his friends are all in another class is: you will be fine, bc God uses bad things (or things that *seem* bad) for good #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

That's quite weird. Doesn't it make more sense to encourage that kid by saying he can make new friends? And he can still play with his old friends after school? #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Seems quite bizarre to take 1 specific situation, about being in a different class than your friends (which feels like THE END OF THE WORLD if you're 8 years old, but really it's not a big deal) ...
#PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

... & generalize it into "it's okay bc when bad things happen to us, we can trust that God will use them for good" #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Like, yeah this kid will be fine, it's not THE END OF THE WORLD to be in a different class. But it is very much NOT TRUE that IN GENERAL bad things have good results. #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

i seem to remember reading somewhere that a bad tree cannot bear good fruit #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

Not really a fan of Joe's naïve faith that even when he's in jail, God has a reason & it will turn out good #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

All right that's all i have to say about VeggieTales "The Ballad of Little Joe" ^_^ #PerfectNumberWatchesVeggieTales

—Perfect Number (@pnumber628) 2018-03-31

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Follow-up post: Don't ever tell me it was a good thing. Don't ever tell me it was God's plan.

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To see all my VeggieTales reviews: Perfect Number Watches VeggieTales (Master Post)